terminating pregnancy for medical reasons

[k8_005]

we found out our baby has anencephaly (where the skull doesnt form fully and the baby has no chance of life as the brain doesnt form) i am 15 weeks gone, we have been advised to terminate the pregnancy as the baby is unlikley to make it full term if it does will likley die during birth or very very shortly after. i have been given the choice of surgical or medical termination and after much diliberation and back and forthing have decided to go with surgical, this means going to a local abortion clinic where the pregnancy will be terminated, i thought id come to terms with the decision, and while i still believe its right am sat here in tears i have my consultation tommorrow and the procedure will be done withiin a week, im obviously off work. my husband is equally upset and we both still agree this is correct for us its still really really hard, i guess im posting for some support or with help on how to come to terms with the loss of our baby. x

 

[flexilexi394]

im extremely sorry to hear that, thats the hardest thing anyone can be told, well done for being brave.

 

[bearsmummy]

I'm so sorry. Nobody should ever have to go through this. x

 

[Rowesb]

I am soo sorry to read what you are going through

 

[k8_005]

thankyou i know everyone who has suffered a loss must feel this way and its normal, but i can be absolutly fine one minuite and then the next dissolve into tears thinking about it, the worst is if i get a "pregnancy symptom" as of course until the procedure i am still carrying our fetus, and even though i know 100% in my mind its the right choice for us to make and will prevent further suffering to the fetus part of me feels evil for ending it when we both love it so much. its just soo soo very hard.

 

[Binzy]

It must be crushing you, am so sorry for you. No other words of comfort I'm afraid, just lots of hugs xxxx

 

[JJ Mum]

You may not think it, but you are coping so very well with this Hun, this is such a awful time fo you both, and your being such a brave lady, I'm very proud of you Hun X I lost a baby at 12 weeks, but can't imagine what you must be feeling and going through right now. Wishing your visit to the consultant goes smoothly tomorow XX

 

[TeeUK]

What you are doing is so very brave and selfless...you are doing this to stop further suffering to your little one, please don't feel evil....sometimes life does not give choices. You are doing what is right for baby because you love and want suffering to be minimal.... I had not heard of this condition before so naturally I looked it up and it just made me want to cry...My heart goes out to both of you xxxx

 

[rachaellouise]

I really do not know what I can say to make this any easier for you, what you are doing is the kindest thing you can do, selfless acts are almost always the hardest!
I know the baby can not hear you yet but maybe try talking to it and explain why you are having to do this, that you both love it dearly and do not want it to suffer.
It may help you find piece and is a way of saying goodbye.
Thinking of you

 

[bonbon]

thinking of you at this very sad time bless you..xx

 

[karenandbump]

So, so sorry that u r dealing with this and my thoughts are with you at what must be the most awful time x x x

 

[k8_005]

thankyou to all of you. had my consultation my actual date for op is now monday which in a way im glad as it means its sooner rather than later. i didnt wnt to have to wait any longer than i had to. i managed to get an extra scan picture today to keep too by fluke, as doctor did 1 to many and was going to throw it away i asked if we could see it and keep it she said its really not very good and you wont want it but i asked again and she said yes so now i have three precious pictures to keep which is really nice (in a sad way) . am feeling stronger today and more able to cope, i feel i have done all i can your words have helped tremendously. i hope one day to be sharing better news on here with you all.

 

[k8_005]

What you are doing is so very brave and selfless...you are doing this to stop further suffering to your little one, please don't feel evil....sometimes life does not give choices. You are doing what is right for baby because you love and want suffering to be minimal.... I had not heard of this condition before so naturally I looked it up and it just made me want to cry...My heart goes out to both of you xxxx

yes we looked up every avenue online too as we had never heard of it ourselves unti lbeing diagnosed, just in case it was something we could do to make it better sadly ther isnt, and i did take folic acid before and during pregnancy so this isnt the reason why in my case though they have said i will need a medically prescribed high dosage for any future pregnancys just to be sure. so at leasst we have the knowledge that it wasnt our fault and there was nothing we could have done to change the outcome.

 

[emz1980]

xxxx

 

[Sunnyb]

I think you are very brave. If you MC it is not through choice & although it is sad it was not in your control. However you have had a huge decision to make & that must have been so hard for you.
Sending you lots of love - I'll be thinking of you on Monday.

Sunnyb xxx

 

[Geminiblue]

I hadnt heard of this until a friends unborn baby was diagnosed about 3 months ago she had to make the decision you have made. Heart breaking for them and for you too. I just wanted to send my love and thoughts at this awful dark time for you and your partner.

xxx

 

[k8_005]

I hadnt heard of this until a friends unborn baby was diagnosed about 3 months ago she had to make the decision you have made. Heart breaking for them and for you too. I just wanted to send my love and thoughts at this awful dark time for you and your partner.

xxx

its not an easy decision to make and i know some people choose to continue the pregnancy but for us we felt that would not be the right choice. my sympathys with your freind x

 

[hayels]

am so so sorry hun xxxxxxx

 

[Mummy2Adam]

im so sorry hun x x


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[xshauna_bazx]

Im so sorry for you having to go through this! Keep strong xxx