So my best friend is pregnant!!

Discussion in 'Long Term TTC & Fertility Issues' started by Vickyxx, Dec 14, 2011.

  1. Vickyxx

    Vickyxx Well-Known Member

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    Seems to be an influx of pregnant friends at the moment.

    I feel so bad, not for her being pregnant but because she was to scared to tell me, my own best friend!!

    I had lunch at her house and was there for a few hours but it wasnt until I was getting in to my car to leave that she told me ..... she then burst in to tears!! :cry:

    I feel awful, I sat in her house moaning about how unfair my life was and all the while she was trying to find the right moment to tell me. Have I really become that person who people are to scared to talk to about anything baby or pregnancy related!!

    Of course I immediately gave her a hug and told her that she can talk to me about anything and that I was happy for her, which I trully am. I dont want her to feel like she has to walk on egg shells around me for the next nine months and hide things from me.

    The sad truth though is that it crushed me, and I hate that, I hate that all I could think about was how hard this is going to be on me. This girl is like a sister to me, she is the friend who offered to be my surrogate should we ever need one, and it hurts that I cant be happy for her like I should be.

    Sorry for the down post just having a hard time of it all at the moment, keeping watching all these christmas films with happy familys sitting round the tree and it hurts because I want it to be me so bad!!
     
  2. Sparkles76

    Sparkles76 Member

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    I had the same thing last Friday, my best friend (we have done everything together for the past 12 years) told me she was pregnant.

    I knew they started trying for a baby a month ago and it's happend so quickly for them.

    It's really not that I'm unhappy for them but it crushes you, i feel sick to my stomach that it isn't me. Now i feel under pressure to get pregnant so that we can go through this together as well (stupid i know).

    I now feel like i dont have her to talk to about my problems because i dont want her to feel bad. Thats why i joined this forum.

    So i really know what your going through, if you need to talk i always here.
     
  3. Vickyxx

    Vickyxx Well-Known Member

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    Thanks hun, it sucks so bad but kinda makes it easier when you know you have people going through the same thing that you can talk to xx
     
  4. Nurse 26

    Nurse 26 Well-Known Member

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  5. LouiseB

    LouiseB Well-Known Member

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    I think that's the saddest post i've read in ages :cry:

    It's happened to me before, not quite so severely, but where with hindsight i can tell that people aren't speaking openly around me.

    My friend has been through a tough time herself. She has kids, but it wasn't ideal and she lost her second pregnancy.

    So I went out with her the other day and we were chatting about babies and things. We had a lovely day.

    When i got home there was an answering machine message and she was apologising for what she said and she was begging that i would forgive her and that she hopes that i'm not upset.

    I was clueless so phoned her back. She was apologising because she said that she wished her children were closer together in age...

    Apparently i would have found it offensive because i can't have any children at all :oooo:

    She was really worried and i felt more shit about her thinking that i'd feel shit about something so off the radar.
     
  6. maybe baby

    maybe baby Well-Known Member

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    Aww vicky don't be sad lovely, it's going to happen for you soon, I've experienced 2 good friends get preggers and have their baby's since I started ttc which was before them, I'm not feeling too much pressure as they were the first 2 out of about 12 of us girls, I've got 2 getting married next year and I'll feel more pressure when they're ttc too and im not preggers, just think if your drilling works you could be preggers together FX.

    Big hugs to you Hun, I'm sure you'll feel better tomorrow. :hugs:

    Xx
     
  7. Vickyxx

    Vickyxx Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for listening girls, I am not usually one to post a down thread, have had plenty of moans but I try and force myself to stay as positive as I can.

    But this just broke my heart knowing my friend was so sad for me at her happy time. We have been through everything together in the past 18 years, boyfriends, broken hearts, holidays, weddings .... It is just horrible that during one of her greatest moments I feel so sad!!

    Ok gunna try and snap out of this slump I have found myself in cause its not doing me any good.
     
  8. nicky1987

    nicky1987 Well-Known Member

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    I reckn 2012 is gonna be a good year for us LTTTC girls so dont be too saddened hun. However 2 of my closest friends have had babies in the last 2 months (one this monring) and 2 of my cousins are due in february. Then a work colleague is pregnant too! Its never ending! I try not to let it upset me but i just think why not me?

    Roll on 2012.............. xx
     
  9. Gizzy Kelly

    Gizzy Kelly Well-Known Member

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    Arh Vicky reading this reminded me of when my brother and his partner announced they were having a baby. I was so excited for them but I found out after that my brother and my parents had known for weeks before me! I was so hurt. My other brother had been at dinner with hubby and I weeks before with his partner and had known. When I spoke to my brother he said he was so worried about telling us. I was mortified... I was so happy for them as well so I know what you mean. Love gizzy xxx
     
  10. laurat

    laurat Well-Known Member

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    Oh honey, its just the strangest and most confusing thing to deal with! You are genuinely happy for your friend but are crushed, winded and devastated at the same time! I can only imagine how your friend feels too. My 2 best friends with children have looked at me differently since their wee ones have been born. Its concern and almost guilt I see (especially with a drink in them). It truly is just such a conflicting time. We all know how you feel honey! It will happen for us all hopefully! Just need to think of our friends faces when we trll them!
     
  11. DaisyPurple

    DaisyPurple Well-Known Member

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    I understand how your feeling xx
    At the moment I have one friend who is due in 4 days, my sister has just had her 21wk scan and my best friend is 13wks, I'm really happy for them all. The only one who knows about our fertility issues and that we have been trying so long, is my best friend, we have been keeping it a secret from the rest of the world especially family, for various reasons, just wanted to say really that I understand how your feeling, even though I'm not in exactly the same position so to speak XXX
     
  12. Corrinne37

    Corrinne37 Well-Known Member

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    Ahh bless you Vicky, if only we could wave a magic wand and it could happen, so frustrating, so heartbreaking, so pulling at every emotion.
    Think Christmas just makes it feel worse.
    hugs, hope you start to feel a bit better and really, really hope it happens for you soon.xxxxx
     
  13. Vickyxx

    Vickyxx Well-Known Member

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    You guys are the best :love:
     
  14. CARNAT22

    CARNAT22 Well-Known Member

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    (((((hugs))))

    Two of my dearest friends fell pregnant just before me in May. I went on to miscarry and didn't even tell them I had been pregnant / miscarried until after they were both 12 weeks.

    They have both been fab and they are both one of the very few people that know about my other m/c's.

    It's weird as one friend already has a little one, had an ectopic and was TTC # 2 for a year. I have never had a moment of hesitation with feeling happy for her.

    My other friend has been an issue though. She and her long term partner were having unprotected sex yet when she feel pregnant he wanted her to have an abortion?? I am still not sure he fully appreciates how frigging lucky he is... he doesn't seem to be that involved and I think he is a bit in denial. It pi55es me off and saddens me.

    It's going to be hard when this particular friend has her baby as I would have been due 4 days after her EDD. I am thinking that she may even have bub on the day I would have been due?? :shock:

    Wow - sorry for the rant!

    Just meant to say I feel you Vicky!

    xxxxxxxx
     
  15. Drummers_wife

    Drummers_wife Well-Known Member

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    Exact same almost but took my friend 9 wks to tell me :( my sister found out she was pg told me straight away I was really upset confided in my best friend - she already knew she was pg and completely didn't know how to tell me!!
    I felt awful :( :( she couldn't even tell me face to face - she phoned me and I jus felt sooooo awful xx cos both my sister and best friend have a LO already and I was SO involved last time but this time I'm hardly involved :( they jus don't know how to chat xx

    They are both now 24/25 wks and it does get better xxxx
     
  16. positivity :)

    positivity :) Well-Known Member

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    I agree :(

    so sorry to read this hunny, hope you are feeling a little better now :hugs: sounds like you have a fantastic friendship with this girl as she was obviously so concerned about your feelings. i think your op will work and then you and your best friend could end up being preggers at the same time, it would be amazing. :hugs: xxxxxxxxx
     
  17. kirstymichelle

    kirstymichelle Well-Known Member

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    So sorry she felt like that , hugs and love x x x
     

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