relationship counselling?

[leckershell]

Just wondered if anybody had ever been to relationship counselling or to a relationship/couples workshop of any sort?
If so, how long do they last, were they expensive and did they help?

Many thanks x

 

[charols]

hi i have never been to councilling with my partner but do know that we were soooo happy all through our rship till we got pregnant now i do love him deep within but can not be nice to him or go near him at all this is hard. but from my previous pregnancy with another man it was the same and towards the end of pregnancy and after things got better and better as the more pressure went. hope this helps.

 

[Jaded Diamond]

we found a local counsellor and we saw her for 8 weeks. I think the sessions were £40.
a few people have recommended relate to us, but i'm not sure how they work.
http://www.relate.org.uk/

xx

 

[leckershell]

we found a local counsellor and we saw her for 8 weeks. I think the sessions were £40.
a few people have recommended relate to us, but i'm not sure how they work.
http://www.relate.org.uk/

xx

hi thanks for your replies girls

jadeddiamond, did you find the sessions helped.? sorry to be so personal! just wondering really if it might be of benefit to us. the money isnt the issue but want to do the right thing and if they would cost more than would benefit us then i'd look into other things!

x

 

[Jaded Diamond]

We actually started seeing her as we were going through a seperation, and on the last session G said he wanted to give us another proper go.
I wasn't expecting such a 180 from him, as we'd been through a lot of miscarriages and stuff and it'd put a wall between us, but having the 3rd person there who didn't know us and just let us talk things through, and stepping in if either of us got irrational/over emotional. So it definately helped, it saved us.
G's not the kind of person who does emotional stuff, and since then he's got a bit better at being more open about how he's feeling and it helped us with the miscarriage stuff too. Which I think was where our problems started.
She also helped us step back and look at stuff a bit differently. And we still have her number for if things get hard again, but so far in 2 years I've never had to ring it.
It doesn't work for everyone, and you need to have that trust & rapport with your counsellor for it to work I think.
I found ours by googling trained counsellors in our area and found a site where she had a profile and had written all about herself, and that made me feel comfortable revealing stuff about us iykwim?

I've probably rambled. Sorry, but I hope it helps xx

 

[leckershell]

thats really helped thanks il try that and see if i find anyone by us.. failing that il give relate a call on monday and see how they work.
glad it saved you though well done! x

 

[HappyAlice]

I've never had it but would definitely consider it before splitting up. Sometimes when you have been together for a long time you need someone to help you delve deep into the issues and bring forth what is important.
Hope everything's OK

eta i mean instead of splitting not before

 

[trixipaws]

oh no shell i'm sorry to hear this

iv never tried them but definately would if it came to it.

i really hope u guys can work things out, whether its with counselling or by urselves

 

[Beatlesfan]

Hey Leckershell
I am sorry to hear you and your OH might be at this stage, but TBH my OH and I have thought about this. We have always felt that things could improve between us. I think there are lots of pressures on us and that does not help, but it's how to deal with those pressures that are crucial, and sometimes, my OH and I get so emotional and upset/angry that we can't see the wood for the trees!

We have decided to try the netmums online relationship course to see if that helps and a work colleague who used to be a relate counseller gave me a couple of good books to read (I have soooo got to persuade OH to read them too as it always seems to be me initiating and taking part in the practical steps part of getting back on track).

PM me if you want to chat or have a rant. We are going through tough times too. I never think about splitting up seriously but OH says things like that in the middle of arguments (I am not sure if he means it, or if he's blowing hot air and being dramatic??) but it's more like, we are not making each other happy most of the time, we argue lots and seem to irritate each other over niggly things. And yet, my PMS that used to cause a lot of problems before I had Imogen is no longer a problem (it's pretty much non-existant now, I am not going to question it, just be glad it's gone) so it makes me think perhaps it wasn't PMS, maybe we have issues that need exploring??

We can't really afford counselling at the mo and it would be difficult to get a babysitter but we are going to try a few things ourselves first and see how we get on.

Hope you find the path you need to get back on track. x x

 

[HappyAlice]

What did you decide Shell?

 

[leckershell]

Hiya

I got a new job offer and seem to happier in myself and we seem to be better together this week and end of last, so maybe that didn't help much. I am still loking into it though for when all the changes die down. Things sound pretty much like your situation beatlesfan... we're not really on the verge of splitting up as such but it just feels like we are friends as opposed to a couple..

Nat was a bit worried though that I mentioned counselling, as if it was a really taboo thing to do..

I guess I'll just see how the next few weeks go, but I am still really considering some sort of help for us and really appreciate all your replies.

m

x

 

[HappyAlice]

I'm sure you'll get through this if you both want to I go through peaks and troughs with my OH too, you just have to work through it