The sake of the baby (cheated on)

[JMC]

This is just a general question to all you mummy's or even daddys

Have any of you been cheated on by the father or mother of your child..

If so, what did you do

Did you put aside your heart ache and take them back for the sake of the baby?

Was that the end?

Or do you still live together for the sake of the baby but just not share a lovers relationship?

Really interested for feedback

 

[x-kirsty-x]

when you joined this forum i assumed you and your girlfriend were still together but i read somewhere that you're not!

me and daniel have been together for 6 years and iv never cheated on him, and he hasnt cheated on me (he better not have!!!)

but if i was pregnant and we happened to split up i know i would want him to be there through it all, even just as mates. knowing me and him we couldnt stay apart but everyones different and i think you have to put your differences aside, it'll make things alot easier once the babys here. i dont think staying together for the babys sake will ever work, it might bring you closer for a while but deep down the problems are still gonna be there.

its a tough one, ive never been in that sitaution so i couldnt possibly say whats best, but like everyone says,as long as the baby has parents that love it and can get on with each other i think things will work out fine.

 

[minikins]

I believe everyone deserves a second chance in a relationship and if you agree to stay together after who ever has an affair (it has happened to me but not while pg or married), then you need to then agree to move on and stop mentioning it as the constant reminding of the past will destroy your future.

My DH and I have been together 9 years now and it would hurt for sure, but for the sake of it all I would give it another go as we have 9 years to fight for, but if I was only in a relationship for a short while I would not bother to fight.

Probably not what you wanted to hear. Good luck to you all.

x

 

[JMC]

I decided to fight for it

Everyone makes mistakes, every relationship is full of hurt...

The way i see it we have to much to throw away so I'll just let time heal the past and look forward the the amazing future we have !

 

[violet-glow]

Good luck JCM hope all goes well for you x

 

[minikins]

Ievery relationship is full of hurt...

I disagree, it does not have to be full of hurt, my relationship has not hurt in it on both sides, if it was then I don't think we would be here 9 years on.

I really wish you good luck though, you sound like a great bloke.

 

[beanie]

I haven't been cheated on but jusyt after the birth my partner did something that nearly split us up. In the end it came down to the fact that we both still wanted a relationship and I did trust him still so we are together.

I think there are too many variables eg what was the cheating (i.e. was it just a kiss or a full blown 6 month affair), how do you both feel about the relationship, can you truest and respect each other, reasons for the cheating etc etc. However I do disagree with staying with each toehr just for the baby's sake, its not fair on the child or the people involved in the relationship in my opinion.

 

[jenna]

basically my husband picked another girl over me (ages ago) and i felt like i was cheated on. If i had a baby i would probebly have moved out for a few days so i had alone time and no fighting in front of the baby, then i would have probebly thought it through. I belive that if you love some one you dont hurt them but aparently im wrong and people makes mistakes. It just so happends that i would never make them

 

[JMC]

Thanks for the advise ladies !!

Its really helped me

 

[bekki_16]

hey yeh i have been cheated on by aaliyahs father.
it ended in us splitting up and now he has a new girlfriend and didnt really have much 2 do with me or aaliyah
his loss tho
xxxxx

 

[Tam]

I certainly do not agree with staying together for the sake of the kids!!!!

I have been a child in a family where my Mum stayed put as there was no help out there at the time for single parents and she had 3 of us..............life was not great for her and she regretted not leaving my Dad years and years ago!

My Mum made her life hell by staying with my Dad and not having any trust in him, after he had an affair whilst Mum was pregnant with my younger sister! It was her that suffered for his mistakes!!!! If there had been more support for Mum at the time, she would have left then!

Then blow me, the exact same thing happened to my younger sister when she was PG, she also tried to make a go of it once the baby was born, so they got married and she is now divorced and happily with another bloke on her 2nd baby with him!

I left my ex when I was PG with my DD as he was pushing for an abortion and I needed to make my own mind up..........I understood that he felt he was too young (8 yrs older than me and neary 30!! ) but I knew the baby was far more important to me than he ever would be.................when I decided to keep the baby, he decided he would come round to the idea and play happy families. We weren't together for long and I certainly couldn't see me settling down with him for the rest of my life.......then there was this incident where one of is mates was with him, and my sister was there and his mate said to him "don't let her trap you, you get out if you want to"! My sister went mad, and HE never defended me at all....................so he showed me I couldn't trust him in another sort of way..................I didn' know what he was saying to other people behind my back?! And why?? I made it clear I would go it alone!!!! He was as thick as shit in all fairness, and still tied to his mum's apron strings!

There was NO WAY I would stay with him for the sake of MY baby!!! What a life that would have been! I learnt from my Mum, if you aint happy, get out, don't waste your life!!
I chose my DD over him and I am glad to say I have never heard form him since, even tho we were kind enough to let him & his Mum know when DD was born, so I did leave it up to them as to whether they wanted to play a role in DD's Life!!

Sorry I know that last bit went a bit off topic, but I do not agree you stay together for the sake of the kids, I think you owe it to your kids to be happy whether that means you live together or apart as parents - if you aint happy as parents, your kids will know, and it is not a good way to live or teach them about relationships!

Good Luck with yours JMC!