Really bad anxiety :(

[adele88]

Right for the past week or so I have been terribly anxious I dont know what the hell is going on with me. I have been wakening up with a really bad feeling in my stomach that wont go away no matter what and now im getting a little scared. Also with this anxious feeling I have been having moments where im thinking what if something happens to my wee boy then i cant get it out my head no matter how hard i try. Then because Im fearing something awful is going to happen im then feeling really guilty for thinking these things. My health visitor is coming on Monday but im scared to tell her as she isnt the nicest of people and she might think im daft. Im not sure whats up with me wheter its pnd or ocd does anyone have any suggestions?


thanks guys xx
ps ( i hope no one judges me i just had to let it out as i couldnt tell my oh incase he thinks im going crazy or something )

 

[karenandbump]

Hey hon. Sorry to hear ur feeling like this. I would def say have a chat with ur HV - they will have heard it all before so won't think ur daft and their whole role is about supporting u. If ur not keen on the HV - how about having a chat with ur GP. I think talking to someone is a good idea x x x

 

[titch]

No youre not daft hun. Last night I was crying into OHs arms that I didnt want him to leave me. He was so baffled cos hes never done anything that makes me think Im gonna lose him. But I cant get it out of my head that he might leave me now our lives have changed after our baby arrived. I also get real guilty moments that Im not doing enough by Morgan, and I should be doing more to help his development. On top of that I still have bad days where I get a bit obsessive about my time in hospital and cant stop thinking about everything that happened.

So youre really not alone. Having a baby really messes with your head. Defo talk to your midwife, Im going to at my next visit. Everytime I see her I go into bubbly happy person, I think its cos shes still a stranger so I havent let on how Im feeling yet, even though I want to.

About the anxiety, have you got one of those cot alarms? We couldnt afford one but I found one on ebay 2nd hand for £20 and its the best thing I bought. I can sit downstairs when the LO is asleep upstairs and when I have those moments of "OMG I havent checked him for 5 mins he couldve stopped breathing" I just look at the baby monitor and theres a little light that flashes everytime he breathes. If it doesnt flash for 20 seconds it sets off a loud alarm. It really helps me relax to sleep. It went off once and Ive never woken up and got out of bed so fast. I had LO in my arms before OH even realsied what the sound was! He was fine but he'd been sick so maybe he had held his breath or something.

 

[adele88]

No youre not daft hun. Last night I was crying into OHs arms that I didnt want him to leave me. He was so baffled cos hes never done anything that makes me think Im gonna lose him. But I cant get it out of my head that he might leave me now our lives have changed after our baby arrived. I also get real guilty moments that Im not doing enough by Morgan, and I should be doing more to help his development. On top of that I still have bad days where I get a bit obsessive about my time in hospital and cant stop thinking about everything that happened.

So youre really not alone. Having a baby really messes with your head. Defo talk to your midwife, Im going to at my next visit. Everytime I see her I go into bubbly happy person, I think its cos shes still a stranger so I havent let on how Im feeling yet, even though I want to.

About the anxiety, have you got one of those cot alarms? We couldnt afford one but I found one on ebay 2nd hand for £20 and its the best thing I bought. I can sit downstairs when the LO is asleep upstairs and when I have those moments of "OMG I havent checked him for 5 mins he couldve stopped breathing" I just look at the baby monitor and theres a little light that flashes everytime he breathes. If it doesnt flash for 20 seconds it sets off a loud alarm. It really helps me relax to sleep. It went off once and Ive never woken up and got out of bed so fast. I had LO in my arms before OH even realsied what the sound was! He was fine but he'd been sick so maybe he had held his breath or something.

thanks i just feel so daft i just cant bring myself to smile at all only time i smile is when i see my little boys face. It really all started about a week ago i was getting the symptoms of depression then they symptoms gone and this week i have been getting the symptoms as which i described above. Im going to speak to my health visitor on monday because my head is sore with all these thoughts i need to let it out somehow its driving me mad. My anxiety isnt really panicking about the baby well it is but its just a constant nervous feeling in my stomach that i dont know a reason for it you get me like something bad is going to happen at anytime throughout the day. I just cant seem to focus on anything its really driving me mad also i get really angry and cant be bothered socializing with anyone.

have you spoken to anyone about how your feeling?

do you think it sounds like pnd or depression im totally confused lol

 

[isobel84]

hun
I think it can be quite common to feel scared that something will happend. I know i will be a mess cuz my sister went trough something with my nephew that is stuck in my head so i have already said to OH that a light will be on all night long in the bedroom so i can constantly check him until i feel comfterble to turn it of.

I would suggest to talk to your HV, even if shes not your favourite person - she is there to help and she will know what to do or suggest something.
I can also see that its hard to talk to your OH as i think we want to be this superwoman mums that is impossible to be and if we admit we find it hard its like we failed?! I am so sorry you are feeling like this but what im trying to say is that im sure its quite common. Good on you for coming on here and open up and im sure there will be mums with an acctual experience (as i dont have it) that can make you feel abit better

 

[titch]

I know what you mean about that feeling. Like its totally illogical but its still there. Ive never really spoken to anyone about how Im feeling. I did talk to OH at the beginning but I think he thinks Im feeling better. I didnt get a 6 week check which I was expeciting to have and was going to speak to the GP about it all. Im still really struggling with the way Morgan was born. My OH says that everything happened so quickly my mind didnt have time to make sense of it all so I keep replaying it (he's training to be a hypnotherapist) I also think that I used to visualise the moment Morgan was born to help me get through the contractions and I feel like I still havent had that moment. Do you think some of your anxiety could be related to the birth? Ive looked a lot online and loads of women feel quite traumatised after their childs birth.

I let OH hypnotise me last night the first time Ive let him. Just to put me into a relaxed state then wake up feel more refreshed and confident. It was really nice at the time but Im not feeling the effects today!

 

[adele88]

I know what you mean about that feeling. Like its totally illogical but its still there. Ive never really spoken to anyone about how Im feeling. I did talk to OH at the beginning but I think he thinks Im feeling better. I didnt get a 6 week check which I was expeciting to have and was going to speak to the GP about it all. Im still really struggling with the way Morgan was born. My OH says that everything happened so quickly my mind didnt have time to make sense of it all so I keep replaying it (he's training to be a hypnotherapist) I also think that I used to visualise the moment Morgan was born to help me get through the contractions and I feel like I still havent had that moment. Do you think some of your anxiety could be related to the birth? Ive looked a lot online and loads of women feel quite traumatised after their childs birth.

I let OH hypnotise me last night the first time Ive let him. Just to put me into a relaxed state then wake up feel more refreshed and confident. It was really nice at the time but Im not feeling the effects today!

im not completely sure to be honest my birth was ok it all happened a little fast but it was fine as far as i know lol. Its just this anxiety if it went away i would be feeling brand new. Im defo speaking to the health visitor because i cant take it anymore why did you not get a 6 week check? What happens at ur 6 week check i heard they do a pnd questionaire thing not sure if that still happens. Also the first week when i had keyan everything went completely fast i was up ready and bouncing about like i hadnt gave birth only like 2 days after having him the midwife couldnt believe it maybe that has something to do with how im feeling not completely sure though.

that sounds awsome wish my bf could do that would make me feel alot better. xx

 

[titch]

aparently they dont do 6 week checks here. you just go and see a doc if you need to. pretty bad as i had a c section and a reaction to the drugs i think the health visitor does the questionnaire the past few times shes said she'll do it next visit then she doesnt. probably knows im being overly chirpy and theres no point

 

[evie_smith]

I felt very anxious when I had my bella and then it passed by week 8ish I had a very traumatic birth where I was induced had a drop in my arm for 24hrs had an emergency section had afterbirth left in me then got forgot to administer drugs to from 10pm till 8am sore isn't the word and all they said was sorry then when I went back to them with all the pain they couldn't tell what it was went to my local gp turns out there was afterbirth in me which thank goodness I passed naturally and I got a huge infection soooo yer I was a little anxious but it wore off and I was ok after that but in my 6 weeks check back then they did say anxiety can lead to pnd and it's nothing to be ashamed of as it's a hormone imbalance and help is there if you need it - men can get it too my husband had pnd really bad xxx


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[adele88]

got the health visitor tomorrow so im going to tell her although im not sure if its got anything to do with her not sure if i should be telling the doctor im so scared of telling her incase she thinks am daft

 

[titch]

Im gonna tell my health visitor tomorrow too. We're in it together!!

 

[adele88]

woop good luck

well i have done the first step i told my hv today and aww my god do i feel better i was a little shaky and felt like crying when i was explaining it to her but she was fantastic i never realised how understanding and nice she could actually be i thought she would think am stupid. I told her all my symptoms and she was explaining about all different types of depression and how depression is split into 3 category's anxiety and another 2 which i dont remember. She got me a doctor's app for wednesday and 15.20 so wish me luck

good luck telling your hv tomorrow keep me updated xx

 

[titch]

thats wonderful, well done!! im sureit will be a lot easier now youve taken that first step