I have anxiety every day, does this affect a baby im scared.

[scaredbuthappy]

Hi im new to this site also. hello Sorry my post is long i just really wanted to share with someone the way im feeling, thankyou.

Im 24 and i found out i was pregnant last week. I was so scared that at the time i didnt feel happy.

Deep down i am very happy but i hate feeling anxious all the time. I feel sick alot and have horrible butterflies. This is just me anyway. i have anxiety on and off all the time.
The last few days ive woken up wih a stomach ache every night, and in the morning i will get panicky with nervousness and feel sick and cold then hot. Its a feeling im familar with unfortunately as ive had this for the last 10 years or so.
I had been ok recently but finding out i was pregnant triggered it again and im scared what im doing to my baby. When i get anxious or have a panic attack my stomach churns up and i feel sick then i need to go to the toilet and my chest feels light. The other day it was like it for 2 days straight and i could barely eat.

If anything happens to my baby i wil blame myself as i know my anxiety is alot to do with me and the way i think. I try and control it but sometimes i cant, its just there. I thought once i got pregnant this would all go away as i would care so much about my baby that nothing else would matter.

Im scared something is going wrong inside me or im scared my baby will feel the effects of my anxiousness. Im worried that what i feel in pregnancy will effect it as people always say stuff like if you are stressed the baby is stressed, if you drink alchohol so is the baby, if you smoke the baby has the effects etc etc. Will it have my anxiety too?

I hate myself for feeling this way, i hate what im like and i dont want me baby to grow up like me.

Thankyou for reading my post if anyone has any info or advice i would appreciate it thanks. xxxx

 

[sarafet]

hi sweetie, congrats on your pregnancy and welcome

i used to suffer from anxiety attacks and took some medication for them to slow down my heart rate and i actually don't get them anymore, haven't had one for about 6 months you could try going to your doctor from some advice?

also just to let you know that panic attacks are absolutely harmless to you and baby, nothings going to happen to you or baby, thats how i used to feel, always felt like i would collapse and have a heart attack the main thing is to relax and try to enjoy your pregnancy, but if it is controlling you that much i would recommend a visit to your doctor hun xxxx

 

[Mice_Elf]

Hello. Congratulations on your pregnancy.

Can't help with the panic attacks, but I was moved into a new job without my consent 2 weeks before I found out that I was pregnant and then I was left with no help, no documentation and only a rudimentary knowledge of what I was supposed to do. This new job involved moving phones in office moves, re-patching, cabling and fault fixing, which incorporated climbing into the roof space, removing floor tiles and laying new cables and squeezing under desks to trace all these wires. Not to mention learning all of the commands required to operate the Switch.

I had 2 people that I was allocated to train for when I left and I hated the job. The people that were there to help me as my second line refused point blank to answer the phones or emails and there was no labelling in the Switches to work out what went were.

Wiring was an absolute spaghetti mess and when they'd installed 2 floors on the one site, they'd split the 4 pairs so that Floor 3 had all analogue phones and Floor 7 got the digital. Only some they'd changed so that Floor 3 had a few scattered digital and Floor 7 had a few analogue. SOME they'd even given all 4 pairs to, so that they could have EITHER analogue or digital. But it was very much a piece of guesswork as to which socket had what kind of wiring....and of course nothing was labelled. Oh and the testing equipment that I needed they wouldn't buy me, so I had to constantly ask the people they'd hired in to build a new wing if I could borrow theirs.

Needless to say, I was VERY stressed every day all day. It even got to the point where I couldn't force myself out of bed to go to work. Fortunately I used to work on 2 different sites, so when I turned up at 11am (instead of 8:30) I just said that I'd been on the other site...

Then, 4 weeks before I was supposed to leave, they told me that the 2 people I'd been training for the last 6 months were now no longer allowed to assist and that I'd have to start training up someone else. Someone who'd just had their team cut from 4 to 2, so not only was she coping with double her own work-load but now mine too and I had to go right back to the start and show her everything.

In came to a crux in the end when the security cameras failed and no one would tell me who supported the line, who I could contact or anything. Our side was working OK, it was the equipment, but I just couldn't get anyone to help. All the while the cameras were down, we had to hire in Security Guards to patrol the sites. Eventually I mailed my boss (who worked offsite, so wasn't available to contact quickly) and basically said that I washed my hands of the security camera job and the whole role. It was a week before I was due to leave and my last midwife appointment showed high blood pressure, so I basically said that I would not be coming in for the rest of my time and I was going to start mat leave early.

My daughter was born 4 weeks later and she's a happy, healthy, balanced child who is really intelligent. She shows no signs of living with horracious stress for 9 months!

 

[Mice_Elf]

Wow...that was a long post....sorry...

 

[Sherlock]

Wow...that was a long post....sorry...

Hehe don't apologise. I think its good when someone explains things like that. You are understanding. And also shows others that people do go through things and come out the other side

So for sharing and I'm just pleased for you its all over and you have a bueatiful daughter

 

[Tillytots]

hello hun

firstly BIG congratulations on your pregnancy

I have suffered on/off with depression and anxiety for 13 year nows. I really got better in the last 3 years but pregnancy has triggered the panic again so I know how you're feeling

Please dont hate yourself babes as it really isnt your fault! Millions of people are just like you, I can promise you that!

Im guessing as you've suffered for 10 years you are getting some help? Hopefully you are and they will give you alot more support now you are pregnant. It is well know for pregnancy to spark it off, not just down to normal anxietys but with all the added hormones it can just happen. It really is CRUCIAL hun that you get the support you need for the anxiety so you can have a healthy and happy 9 months ahead of you. Dont try to go it alone on this one.

You can PM absolutely anytime - anxiety is an old friend of mine and Il be happy to chat about it anytime too

let us know how you get on

x x x

 

[Happybunny]

Hiya!
Firstly congratulations!!! I wanted to reply because I suffer from extreme anxiety too, but I wanted you to know that there is hope and help for you!!
I have suffered with severe anxiety for years, usually controlled with meds...but I came of medication to have a baby.
My doc referred me to a Community Psychiatric Nurse when I got pregnant last year. (sadly lost the baby before I could see her though)
It may be worth asking the doc to refer you. The CPN will offer you support through out your pregnancy with regards to your anxiety.

This year I am seeing a psychotherapist privately and he is helping me through my current pregnancy. It is working so far, I am feeling very relaxed and have only had one panic episode in 15 weeks!! (Believe me, that is a miracle, I usually have 5 or 6 a day and become to scared to drive or be left alone)
If you can get a NHS referral to a therapist, I highly recommend it!!! Mine has made a big difference to me, I feel so much calmer than I did when I got pregnant a year ago.
I hope everything goes ok for you. I really understand how anxious you must be. Please don't do it alone, demand help from the doc...you'll be surprised how much help is out there for pregnant women.

Good luck honey

 

[Mice_Elf]

Wow...that was a long post....sorry...

Hehe don't apologise. I think its good when someone explains things like that. You are understanding. And also shows others that people do go through things and come out the other side

So for sharing and I'm just pleased for you its all over and you have a bueatiful daughter

Thank you! Me too. It was an interesting experience and one I hope to never repeat!

They did other things too, which compounded my stress levels including but not limited to :

a) I used to sleep in my car during lunchbreaks but this became increasingly uncomfortable as the weather became colder and I became bigger. But when asked for a place for me to sleep, they offered me a beanbag on the floor of the disabled toilet to which I would have to ask Reception for the key as there were a load of supplies in there.

b) Constantly booked big moves on the dates when I had told them I had midwife appointments. When I rang to tell them, they would tell me that *I* had to ring up to cancel. I told them that it was their job as HelpDesk as they would have to re-organise a date. 3 times I mailed them for one job asking if they had re-scheduled to be told (eventually) yes, only for the head of that department to ring me the morning of the move to ask if everything was ok for the move that afternoon. I mailed the HelpDesk and cc'd in my boss, absolutely furious and he rang me to ask if I could come back from my appointment to do the move or come in at 6:30am the next morning to do it for them!

When I told him "no" because I needed the people there to verify that it was *their* phone that I was moving and that everything worked ok afterwards he became quite annoyed and told me that I was going to do the move the next day. As it turned out, the department couldn't move the next day anyway.

c) After performing a major move in Area 3 (the aforementioned annoying floor) I had a very snotty email from the boss there basically thanking me for the move but why had I downgraded all their phones from their wonderful new digitals to the old analogues. They claimed that I had removed all the digitals. They refused to accept that they didn't have digitals in the first place and that there was no way they could have had digitals because the wiring wasn't in place for those phones in that area. Boss then mailed me about an hour later asking me to install digital phones on that floor.

When told that there was no way that was going to happen, he made it out to be my fault, that I was just being difficult because I didn't WANT to install digitals. *sigh*

Anyway, before this becomes another humungous post, I shall stop there, but as you can see, after 3 years I still get worked up about it! I was very stressed.

 

[kalia]

I tried to be stress free for the baby's sake but then I read that experiencing (some) stress is actually good for baby! Otherwise the first time it gets stressed is at birth which would make it extra traumatic. I've bought some rescue remedy for when I get into silly states for no reason but other than that I don't worry about being stressed.
I am in no way suggesting you get in states for silly reasons - it sounds to me like you have medical anxiety problems. But I get myself wound up over ridiculous things which haven't happened but I worry will or magnify very little problems.

 

[jue]

I suffered with terrible anxiety during my last pregnancy and for about 10 yrs before I was pg, ,some good advice has been posted by the other ladies.

I just want to say that my daughter is now 6 and actually quite wonderful, she is happy, relaxed, confident and not at all anxious.

Also she is in all top groups in school, and reads roughly two years above her age.

She enjoys dance and is confident enough to perform on stage and also enter competitions, to date she has won 5 golds and 1 silver awards.

I am not trying to boast about my dd, just to reassure you that even with your problem, your little one will be just fine.

I hope this can reassure you a little