Postnatal counselling

[tweetyfoo]

So I had a chat with MIL yesterday about how I feel about the day Aaron was born

I any remember much of it which I did quite upsetting.

My actual memory of events seems far off what actually happened. I had thought we were told Aaron had DS ver soon after his birth and we didn't get to hold him ... But apparently it was two hours later

I can't remember holding him for the first time, or going to the ward, I don't know what happened

My memories are, the doctor examining him and when I asked if everything was ok, the response being "we think he has DOwn Syndrome" the. Hubby holding him, then I got stitches.

My next memory is of MIL and FIL visiting

Has anyone been through their labour notes after ward and found it helpful?


Please excuse any typos from my fat fingers!
Tapatalk madness!

 

[CARNAT22]

Obviously you had a Hell of a shock on the day hun, which would have just added to the confusion.

I'd have love to have read through my labour notes, wish I'd thought of it when I still had them.

I had a very long labour - 36 hours at home and then another 14 hours after arriving at the hospital (I was 5cm when I arrived as well). I started in the birthing centre and then trasferred to labour ward.

OH doesn't really talk about it much and there are things that are missing / muddled in my mind. I think OH was pretty shocked about it all. I remember him leaving us at 3am and he looked like he'd witnessed a murder!!

Also there was a horrible thing I remember about poo.. Not only did I poo in labour but it somehow got on MW's shoe and she was walking it around the room . I completely freaked out when another MW came in and asked about the "mess", she wasn't rude or anything.... but I got so distressed that they ended up telling me it was "mud" from outside which pacified me at the time!

Also in the middle of pushing my cannula came loose, I was bleeding all over the place and they had to get another Dr to come in and put one in my arm and I had to remain completely still, even though babies head was nearly out.

Actually Tweety thinking about it there is a lot I want to know about my labour!

xxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Emily0505]

I had a labour debrief with a MW as part of my PND treatment.

It was so helpful and there was so much she told me that I didn't even realise had happened!

They were more than happy to go through it with me, came around to the house and she was very understanding.

If you think it will be helpful, then I would definetly go for it.

 

[diane]

I'm having a labour debrief in 2 weeks; I didn't ask for it, just automatically given it after what happened to me. I'm hoping it answers some questions about why things happened the way they did and what they can do to prevent it happening again.

I think it would be something you can look into definitely and also I think you can request your labour notes too xxx

 

[tweetyfoo]

Obviously you had a Hell of a shock on the day hun, which would have just added to the confusion.

I'd have love to have read through my labour notes, wish I'd thought of it when I still had them.

I had a very long labour - 36 hours at home and then another 14 hours after arriving at the hospital (I was 5cm when I arrived as well). I started in the birthing centre and then trasferred to labour ward.

OH doesn't really talk about it much and there are things that are missing / muddled in my mind. I think OH was pretty shocked about it all. I remember him leaving us at 3am and he looked like he'd witnessed a murder!!

Also there was a horrible thing I remember about poo.. Not only did I poo in labour but it somehow got on MW's shoe and she was walking it around the room . I completely freaked out when another MW came in and asked about the "mess", she wasn't rude or anything.... but I got so distressed that they ended up telling me it was "mud" from outside which pacified me at the time!

Also in the middle of pushing my cannula came loose, I was bleeding all over the place and they had to get another Dr to come in and put one in my arm and I had to remain completely still, even though babies head was nearly out.

Actually Tweety thinking about it there is a lot I want to know about my labour!

xxxxxxxxxxx

My cannula came out while pushing too ... I'm pretty sure my eyeballs popped out too!

We had a very similar labour I think - I laboured on my own on the ward for hours, then discovered I was 5 cm and wheeled to delivery suite and was stuck at 5 cm for ages. Only when she put the clip on aarons head did my waters break and speed things up.

 

[CARNAT22]

Labour was hideous but I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

I know I was overdue (6 days when it all actually started, 9 when I had him) but I was still kind of in denial I was in labour LOL!

I rang to cancel an appointment I had on the Monday (41w appt at prolonged pregnancy clinic) and told them *full of pride* that I thought I was in early labour. They couldn't care less and told me to call back if waters went, if I had a big bleed or if contractions got to every few minutes.

As none of this happened [waters went after about 33 hours so they told me to come in for assessment] I just assumed nothing much was going on??

I was so chuffed to be at 5cm, little did I know how hard it was going to be to get the little sod out.

People that say early labour is the hard part are wrong. Early labour and established labour were both equally as horrible for me.

I loved pushing though, it was the only time I felt like I was actually doing something.

xxxxxxxxx

 

[Samsgirl]

I had a debrief and it really helped me. I couldn't remember anything and thought Hannah had been taken away straight away but apparently she was in the room for 2 hours but I was out of it x

 

[tweetyfoo]

Well I spoke to my HV about it today and she's said she's never heard of this happening and can't see how it would help me.

Apparently its normal to forget things, so I'm just like every other woman who has given birth and I should ask my husband to remind me what happened

 

[Samsgirl]

That is bollocks! Excuse my language! Ring the labour ward yourself and ask for an appointment x

 

[tweetyfoo]

Shes trying to pn PND on me and suggested counselling to help get ovr the fact my son has DS

 

[CARNAT22]

Shes trying to pn PND on me and suggested counselling to help get ovr the fact my son has DS

She sounds enlightened!!

Jesus!

xxxxxxx

 

[NinjaKitty]

That is utter shite, pretty sure they have to give you a review if you ask for it.


Using Tapatalk can't see no tickers grrrrr.

 

[Emily0505]

What a load of rubbish! It was my HV who suggested it to me!

Give the maternitg unit a ring and tell them you want a labour debrief, I'm sure they'll be more than happy to do so.

XX

 

[tweetyfoo]

The HV has made me feel like shit to be honest, and now I feel really really silly.

I enjoyed labour - it was my favourite part of the whole pregnancy. So dunno if it will actually help me?

Idk if just hearing that my labour was fine etc etc, will just put my mind at rest.

Hubby tells me that the room was full of doctors when I was pushing (I had been pushing an awfully long time and getting bloody nowhere) I had thought it was just me, mw and hubby

Apparently they all left when Aaron cried.

 

[cosmicgirl]

I had a review but all of the excuses and closing of ranks really annoyed me. It just served to frustrate me further.
I also didn't find my notes very enlightening. Because it was an emergency situation, most was written in retrospect and the rest looked like panicked scrawl! x

 

[mrswoody]

Tweety I have moments when I don't remember what happened and have to ask hubby about it to fill in the blanks.
I pushed for 2 hours and really don't remember much of it as at that point I'd been awake for 20+ hours, off my face on diamorphine and was falling asleep.
Someone was meant to sit and go through my labour with me but the postnatal ward was so busy this didn't happen, so I'm just going to request my notes and read them myself.
Oh did tell me I swore a few times **cringe** shouting "oh for my effing foof" I do not remember any of that! How bloody embarrassing!!

I think it's bad of your HV to suggest you need help coming to terms with Aaron's ds, your doing amazingly well. You could call the maternity ward and see if they will go through everything with you to jog your memory perhaps?x

 

[Les1504]

Aww I can't believe your HV said that, mine suggested a debrief and it really helped me, I had a dreadful time like many other women on here and I needed answers. I saw my consultant and she was brilliant I came away feeling like I could move on x

 

[Gayle30]

I didnt have labour as you knowbasbit was a planned elective csection. But I habe about 1 hour missing from first seeing daisy grace to getting back to the ward via recovery. I cant be sure of where or when I had my first cuddle. I think it was after her gran and daddy in recovery when I was being wheeled through. But i dont remember. Neither does oh. Mum had gone to get chanhed when they wheeled me through so she cant confirm. It annoys the hell out of me but I guess its just one of things. Id absolutley recommend bypassing the hv who sounds like shes as much help as a chocolate tea pot, and getting in touch with your midwife. I know my team would have been happy to fill in the blanks if id laboured. I read my notes and it doesnt say what I was looking for but did say "refused skin to skin" eh no, thats not how I recall at all. I couldnt hold dg as I was numb from my face down. Nothing. So I didn't feel safe or want to hold when I wouldnt feel. Im not surprised you have missing points. You must have had a terrible shock. Id you feel it will help you then you must persue. Absolutley they should help you! Xxx

tapatalking

 

[babyem]

I cant remember quite abit of what actually happened, it upsets me sometimes xx

tapatalking x

 

[CARNAT22]

I do def think that it is very common to forget some things (I think this has already been said earlier in the thread)

Time will get away from you especially if you have a long labour (or take drugs - I had a hit of diamorphine and it was the nicest half an hour of my labour )

Also our brains do shut down when it comes to pain, it is a coping mechanism and part of how we function. An important part of childbirth is that fact we don't remember every grisly detail.

I can live with not knowing, I remember the important parts and although I'd have love to have read my notes I am certainly not going to pay to see them.

I can totally understand why some women need to have that "closure" though (I fecking hate the work closure!! Sorry!)

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