Geminiblue
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OK so this is FYI
So, pregnant with my son I suffered alot, Sickness throughout bleeding a lot threatened miscarriages...so when he was born I didnt feel an overwhelming love, I felt "if you take a step near my child I will be forced to kill you". I was anxious immedately about people having clean hands holding him, him not being passed around to all and sundry incase he was stolen. Id have images of people climbing in through his bedroom window to take him. I wouldnt leave him for 5 mins in case he died....this has lasted up until recently. Its got less and much better but still I dont like him being with other people other than me. It took a lot for me to get a job for 1 day a week and for him to go to a childminder, its been hard...
All of that was made worse by the fact that he came out crying due to horrific labor/birth and didnt stop and the fact that i was breastfeeding under all that stress I dont think I was producing any milk so he wasnt getting much....I was waiting for someone to give me permission to feed him formula and he had colic, ....I was so scared of doing anything wrong and that I was already a bad parent as he screamed so much..... still I wasnt depressed I was so happy to have my beautiful little boy I would gladly die for him still, to watch him at times breaks my soul
So when the health visitor came round yesterday to do the usual check up after my daughter was born....we started talking and it came out how quiet and calm she is compared to my little boy and I started telling her all of the above. She said Postnatal Anxiety...... I have researched so far and everything Ive said above indicates postnatal anxiety....the solution is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.... or anti depressants like it would be for any anxiety disorder
Do I feel the same anxiety about my daughter? I dont know as yet. Would I leave her with anyone else at this moment in time....no. I hope it gets better but I am now aware that its there waiting for me to get over tired....think I will speak with the health visitor some more
So, pregnant with my son I suffered alot, Sickness throughout bleeding a lot threatened miscarriages...so when he was born I didnt feel an overwhelming love, I felt "if you take a step near my child I will be forced to kill you". I was anxious immedately about people having clean hands holding him, him not being passed around to all and sundry incase he was stolen. Id have images of people climbing in through his bedroom window to take him. I wouldnt leave him for 5 mins in case he died....this has lasted up until recently. Its got less and much better but still I dont like him being with other people other than me. It took a lot for me to get a job for 1 day a week and for him to go to a childminder, its been hard...
All of that was made worse by the fact that he came out crying due to horrific labor/birth and didnt stop and the fact that i was breastfeeding under all that stress I dont think I was producing any milk so he wasnt getting much....I was waiting for someone to give me permission to feed him formula and he had colic, ....I was so scared of doing anything wrong and that I was already a bad parent as he screamed so much..... still I wasnt depressed I was so happy to have my beautiful little boy I would gladly die for him still, to watch him at times breaks my soul
So when the health visitor came round yesterday to do the usual check up after my daughter was born....we started talking and it came out how quiet and calm she is compared to my little boy and I started telling her all of the above. She said Postnatal Anxiety...... I have researched so far and everything Ive said above indicates postnatal anxiety....the solution is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.... or anti depressants like it would be for any anxiety disorder
Do I feel the same anxiety about my daughter? I dont know as yet. Would I leave her with anyone else at this moment in time....no. I hope it gets better but I am now aware that its there waiting for me to get over tired....think I will speak with the health visitor some more