Fathers spending the first night with mother on postnatal wa

[lfc_sarah]

I wish Lee could!

He was there every morning 8am-8pm but the 9 nights i was in there were lonely!!

 

[Misslarue]

I agree
I spent a week on the ward (some in my own room) with Dan and I felt so alone. The second night I got no sleep at all and didn't have a clue what I was doing, when OH came up I remember crying that I was finding it hard by myself. If OH was there it would have been so much better. Also when visiting hours arrived I would have a shower and then catch up on sleep so I felt like I never got to see OH. I honestly shed a little tear when we were finally allowed home!

You're allowed to both stay in paediatrics, but only one of you can sleep on the bed!

 

[emx279]

with jess, paul went home after the birth as it was 5-6 in the morning and they wouldnt let him stay, with rebecca i went onto the ward about 8.30, so they let him come too as it was just a few hours off visiting times, as we both had no sleep the night before we both fell asleep as baby was asleep too, he fell asleep in the chair, we just pulled the curtains round our cubicle.

 

[MissSara]

i really want OH to stay with me in hospital this time, i'm hoping to be in and out within 6 hours so we can get home with baby and he has some bonding time.

I hate the idea of me being in hospital with baby and him having his paternity leave at home alone.

 

[lisa&alex]

This is another home birth reason for me. My OH cant drive and if I went to hospital I wouldnt want him leaving me and he wouldn't be able to get to and from the hospital very easy. He has said that he will sleep in the hospital waiting room if we do have to go in! I think its the last thing you want to do after you have just had a baby being left on your own the first few days are needed for bonding with daddy too.

Exactly the same reasons we had a home birth.. we wernt split up at all and i think it really helped al bond with teds.. infact it was fantastic.. i think if u could guarentee that i could go home that day then i would be fine haivn g a baby in hospital but i couldnt spentd a night away from alex after we had jsut had a baby a few hrs later. tbh. i think its wrong.

perhaps there should be birthing units.. instead of maternity wards.. so that mws can keep an eye on thigns but your all able to bond properly..

 

[Babylicious]

I thinkit should be allowed, sean had to go home at 9pm after having just 2 1/2 hours with us

 

[lella]

I think it should be allowed. I was in hospital for 3 days and i hated the nights. especially the first night, I had had a traumatic birth and i wasnt feeling very well, but expected to cope on my own with a baby i didnt know how to look after. I hadnt had sleep in 48 hrs and having my Oh there would have helped me a great deal, even with just a little bit of confidence it would have given me.

 

[Lindsay]

DH was able to stay with me when I had Jacob, it was lovely. I was low dependancy so was able to give birth in my own room with an en-suite bathroom it was fab! DH will stay with me again this time too if I have to stay overnight as I wouldn't like to have to stay on my own!!

Xxx

 

[daftscotslass]

I would have loved to have OH stay. They were nice enough about letting him stay with me for induction even though nothing was happening. Afterwards he could only be there from 2-8. Felt rubbish, couldn't look after Becky properly and was dependent on a buzzer. OH was really frustrated that he had to go home and leave us every night.

They don't do anything about people having 45 folk round their bed instead of 3 during visiting time but it's a chore to have one other person there 5 minutes past visiting hours

 

[kellysomer]

Its the norm on the continent and in Australia, why are we so backwards here. I for one would have suffered far less with Morgan being taken to Neonatal if i had Ross for support all night. Instead i just sat and cried all night.

 

[Sylvie]

Of course it should be allowed. I just spent one night in hospital but when my OH had to leave at 8 p.m. it was terrible: we were both crying
I think it was worse because at first we were told that baby and I would be able to go home at 5 p.m. as we were both fine (Louis was born at 6 a.m.). Then a midwife said that baby had been very sleepy all day and didn't give them a chance to check if breastfeeding was all right... I felt abandoned during the night and couldn't sleep at all anyways... I was really

 

[LisaJ1986]

My OH wasn't allowed to hold Angel til we were leaving as she had a temperature issue. But i think that 1st night i was in i really could've used his support! From 11.30pm til 4am i just couldn't get her to go to sleep. MW ended up just taking her away to another room (without my permission). I think he'd have probably sneaked a cuddle too then.

 

[babyroo]

I agree OH's should be allowed to stay over night , i was in a MLU but had to be transferred to another hospital due to distress, i gave birth there and decided cos she was ok to go back to MLU so hubby could stay with us. It was lovely having him there.

 

[1sttimemum]

I would have loved my OH to have been able to stay with us, he was my rock during my pregnancy, i had prenatal depression, when he left i felt as if it was me against the world and dont think its helped me.

 

[fuffins1981]

I do think it should be an option for men to stay if that is what the couple want. As bonding should be for the men too....Also for security....It is hard to even go to the loo when you are scared to leave bubs alone.

I was single when I had Ty, so did not have an option. But, I just remember how scary it was being left alone, with a new baby. I was shattered, but knew I had to look after him. From the point of view of someone who was single, I think the option of having a 'birth partner' stay with you should be there. So, anyone, in any circumstance does not have to be left alone.

 

[DebbieM]

I wish! I think it should be the norm for the dad to stay!

 

[zebrastripes]

I would have loved my OH to stay with me. I think it is just as important for the father to stay and bond with his child..My OH said he hated having to leave me each night. Plus because I'd been sectioned and then basically ignored, it would have helped because he could have got me to showers, changed nappies etc...and given me cuddles which I deeply needed.

 

[moss]

This is also why I am having a homebirth. I think hospitals should allow fathers to stay over, but with the way wards are set up, it isn't realistic at all to think that would happen anytime soon.

 

[clarey]

Well I know where you are all coming from, I would also have loved OH to have stayed with us for the support and extra help when nurses are busy....

BUT I also think I would have felt quite vulnerable on a ward with strange men about, while I am sure the majority would be perfectly normal and focussed on their own families you do get some weirdos and if for some reason your own OH had to go home, say to look after other kids, or you were on your own, I think it would be a bit scary. I guess if you could have a private room or specific wards for families that would be OK but personally I would rather suffer the indignities post-childbirth without other peoples OH's listening in or watching! lol

Oh and OH adds - he was quite glad to go home for a few hours for a little cry and shower and a rest as he felt he was more together for me and bubs on his return.

 

[rach]

i wish o/h could have stayed with me when i had christopher it was so difficult i was very emotional after losing jamie i had a section so couldnt move i spent most of the night crying im really dreading going in to have the twins the thought of having to try and look after 2 babies after a section on my own is really scary im hoping they will be born as close to term as possible so i can come home quick i only stayed 2 nights after having christopher hoping for the same this time round xxxxx