Possibly a touchy subject......

[WILMAFLINSTONE]

....but when GP confirmed pregnancy today she also mentioned that due to our age 38 and 40 we would be asked somewhere along the line about being screened for Downs Syndrome!

I dont really think I want to have it as whatever is meant to be will be and this baby will be loved no less if it was born with DS....however she pointed out that we would need to consider DD as ultimately it would be her that was left responsible for caring for her brother or sister in this event!

Whats all your views on this subject?

Whos had the tests?

Anyone been told high risk .... if so what action have you taken?

Hope this doesnt upset or offend ayone just feel the need to ask!!

Thanks xxx

 

[Mamafy]

It wasn't even mentioned to me

If it had of been I wouldn't have had the tests

 

[WILMAFLINSTONE]

Are you in 'that' age group too Mamfy?

My friend who is preg and same age as me was also asked at booking on but refused!

Just my GP said to have the blood test then take it from there if I wanted to but I dont see the point if I wouldnt do anthing about it anyway!

Hmmmm xxx

 

[Mamafy]

Well I'm 37 but thought I'd have fell into the age bracket but they never asked, I'm glad they didn't actually

 

[WILMAFLINSTONE]

Hmm yeah she said over 35 is considered as an older mother! Pahhhh! Yeah I hope MW doesnt ask me! Although David said he would prefer me to have it before we got our BFP Im not so sure he would even consider it now!

XXX

 

[munchkin1982]

ha! im 28 and was told im and older mum to be! cheek! i had test though and came back as 1 in 17.000 chance x

 

[Emmamb]

I refused the nuchal screenin and blood test,as far as I know it's offered to every1 as standard but obv encouraged if ur in a high risk group...i did a post about it in pregnancy chat the other week xx

 

[Sol]

I'm 34 and I will have the NT scan and bloods but that is it I just want to prepare myself just in case.

 

[amyjayne77]

I've been offered test with all of mine as standard. I had it too. Even though baby would have been kept and loved I'd rather have known before hand as I think I'd rather be prepared for it. Labour is a major life event and I personally wouldn't have wanted any more shocks on the day x

 

[AugustMum]

I had the screening tests, Im only 22 however so not high risk, but I felt I really wanted the tests done, not because I would change whether I was having the baby or not, but I wanted to be prepared if something were wrong. I think there are good reasons for and against really. Which ever you feel you would be more comfortable with x

 

[stumpyjoe]

We were offered the test and we will have the test but the midwife said that there have been times when they have said yes it does have ds and the patents have got upset etc and then the baby has been born without it! Furthermore, she said the other way round has happened too that they've told people there is a very low risk and then it's come out with ds. So basically they can test but never be 100% sure. We will be having the test anyway.

 

[serenitylove]

i think it may depend on your area where i am everyone regardless of age is offered the combined test im 37 and refused it when mw asked nobody batted an eyelid at me refusing and offered me a reassurance scan instead somepeople want to know some dont care either way but dont let anyone pressure your choice nowdays siblings are not left looking after ds children they can live great independant lives id have to dr to kiss my ass!

 

[WILMAFLINSTONE]

Wow thanks Ladies!

By the sounds of it it def depends on areas and personal choice!

At what stage is this offered and done then?

Yeah SL tbh I have a young lady who I teach who has DS and is 23! Shes got all the typacl characteristics of a person who has DS but shes completely independent! She makes her way there and back hom from class, dress like any other 23 year old would, wears make up and jewellery, talks about boys like the rest of us etc so your right its not like it was 20 years ago is it!

I think its def something I will talk over again with DH but I really dont think at this stage I want to have any of the tests although being prepared is fine too I think its just donw to individual choice isnt it!

Thanks a lot ladies it helps to get a broader view of this subject....xxx

 

[titch]

My Dad's sister has Downs syndrome. She has quite severe language problems but thats pretty much due to the fact that the doctors told my grandma not to bother cos she'd never talk anyway. My grandma had postnatal depression and no support, back 45 years ago, she was advised to give her baby away to a long stay hospital to be brought up in an institution. My grandad convinced her not to do it, but my aunt spent a lot of her early years in a pram without anyone talking to her and no toys. I think if you did that to any child they would have problems!

Now she is a very loved and full part of our family. She comes and stays with us for chiristmas, weekends etc, she'l phone my dad and say "coming to your house?" if she wants to visit. Socially she knows how to behave really appropriately. She cant read cos she was never taught to, but when we eat out she will sit and look at the menu, to any onlooker you'd think she was deciding what to have, then she leans over the whoevers near her and asks what there is and decides. Then she can order herself, (when the waiters give her the chance...but thats whole other issue!)

She lives in supported living, she doesnt cook for herself but she does cooking in college at the mo, and Im fairly certain shes capable but the carers in their house do the cooking for health and safety reasons :/ she helps out with dinner at ours tho.

So I suppose, while my dad would be considered her main 'carer' she's very independant. A lot of her dependance is learned from being overly cared for. For example, she will not get up in the morning when she wakes up, she waits to be told to get out of bed. We've tried everything but thats how its always been for her. Its hard to know if she actually wants to get up or wants a lie in. Sometimes when I dont get her til 9 I worry that shes been awake since 7 waiting. Also her language problems are unusually bad for an adult with downs syndrome, most of the girls in her houseshare have jobs in local shops etc... and are really sociable. but my aunt is never front of house cos she just cant communicate well enough. She needs an awful lot of guidance with fashion tho my sister and I usually tell her to change her top cos shes combines some strange clothes, she loves girly time and shopping, doing her nails, she loves it when we do her makeup too, something she was never allowed for some reason.

Hope this helps. Ive just blabbered on really. If you did have a child with Downs syndrome, you would have a huge amount of support to help your babys development in the early years. Most children with Downs syndrome who I work with go to mainstream high schools and take some GCSEs. Theres no reason why someone with downs syndrome should be illiterate unless theyre just not taught or if they have more severe learning difficulties/ dyslexia. Yes your daughter probably would end up being a main 'carer', but I dont believe it would be a massive burden. More just going with her to hospital appointments, and supporting financial decisions etc...

 

[Rosie's Mummy]

Some of the most wonderful and inspiring people I have worked with have been those with DS I had the nuchal fold scan with Rosie as it was automatic in Australia, this time I had the blood test - not sure why really as I wouldnt have changed the pregnancy if it had been a high risk one.

 

[Me, My Girls & I]

I think everyone gets offered the triple test as standard! I had it at 19! I didn't really want it but fob did just so we were prepared for it if it came back high risk! My mum was in her 30s with us two and was 37ish when she had my sister and expected to be offered more tests but she wasn't!

 

[amyjayne77]

When I was in london, I had the nuchal fold scan with my girls as standard at 14 weeks which they did instead of the 12 week scan.

With Oscar I was in manchester and was surprised at my 12 week scan all they did was say "yes there's a baby in there". I think it was at about 22 weeks they tested my blood for downs syndrome, edwards and triosomy 21(?).

I just took it because it was offered. Always remember my hubby saying each time "...it's not like we'd 'do anything' if the baby had it...." which is true x

 

[Bead]

Good question to bring up Wilma.
(I'm 37 and still ttc, so will be at least 38 when baby arrives.)

Someone I'm very close to had a Downs pregnancy and decided to terminate. I would never judge anyone's decision on this matter, especially when the potential parents are older and may not be around to look after their son/daughter when they're older and still need a lot of care. But that whole experience was extremely traumatic and made me realise that I would go through with the pregnancy no matter what. So I feel that personally there's no point in me having the tests.

Hope all goes well Wilma, and I'm still soooo thrilled for you getting your bfp!
Xx

 

[isobel84]

i said no thanks to the test as it wouldnt change that i wanted to keep our baby. And also, there is alot worse things in the world then DS. I find Alot of the ppl that i have met that have DS is very happy and happy with life.
The only thing that would make me have a abortion is if i knew my baby would live a life in pain.

 

[LouiseB]

I'm not sure how valid my opinion would be, but to me the screening for DS isn't about abortion - it is about preparation.

DS people do require more specific care, depending on the severity, and i think that it is good to have a heads up and give your self plenty of time to absorb the fact your child has DS and make preparations.

Not knowing doesn't make it go away.

I'd hate for it to crop up when i had given birth and then have to start thinking about it on top of the normal stresses.