Our little dream :) Had a mc???

[dyscochick]

Hope I'm with you, OH attitude makes a world of difference. We've been able to be so open with each other when it hurts and when we are thinking about the future. I just can't wait for xmas so we can start trying again. I was the same as you, and didn't have a 2WW cos it was a surprise, not trying not to get pregnant meant I still wasn't really thinking it would happen. I just hope I'm not too obsessed when we get to that point, but I think I probably will be now.

I think I was probably a bit naive when I first came on the forum, so many of my friends and me included had fallen pregnant so easily that having problems felt like something that happened to other people, now its very very real and I think I understand some of the girls on here better who have had problems.

Fingers crossed for you k8!

And Kanga I too missed my grandmothers funeral because I was out of the country and feel so sad that I did. If you can make it even for a short while, in the long term it might be for the best xx

 

[Spinneygirl]

Hi ladies, ive had 2 MC's this year one in January and one in May.

I was devastated and wondered what I did to deserve such bad luck. We are trying again now and hopefully will get a sticky bean this time.

Good luck to you all

xxx

 

[dyscochick]

Sorry to hear that Spinney, fingers crossed and baby dust for this one to be a sticky bean!

 

[kanga86]

Nice to see u back again spinney, fingers crossed and good luck for a sticky bean xx

 

[Bliss]

Having a pretty crap day.

Today should have been my 12 week scan. I'm also wondering if I have PMT as I've been feeling pretty down for the last couple of day, questioning the relationship I'm in and whether I'm happy not having kids. The thing is, whats to say I'd find someone else I was as happy with who also wanted children...and if I'd ever conceive again anyway.

I just feel that time has ran out for me. It's like someone handed me the most precious gift in the world and snatched it away. I'm angry at myself for accepting the doctors advice all those years ago that I'd never conceive naturally, when in reality it may have been as simple as timing/working out my cycle.

I'm going to stop now as this is sounding like a 'poor me' rant when there are people out there probably far worse off than I am.

 

[dyscochick]

Bliss you have had a rough time and deserve space to rant, it's what we are here for!!! Have you and OH discussed other options? Adoption for example? It's natural to be questioning what you want, key to everything is being honest with yourself and OH to see if you want the same and could either of you live with the others decision. Tough hunny, big hugs

 

[Hope81]

hey spinney and bliss sorry to hear about your losses. i have a feeling that we will all get our little LOs and because as dysco was saying first time we were so naive thinking that all those horrible things will never happen to us i think our little ones will be even more special.

for those that already went through this i have a question; how was your first period after a mc or d&c?? mine seems heavier and already 1 day longer than usual, more painful also but nth too extreme as i usually have quite nasty cramps anyway...

ok today so far i did the laundry, i got my prenatal vitamins (never stopped them), ate a healthy breakfast and drank a tea and now debating to study or not to study lol.... Also my vegetable gaden screams to me to go pick the spinach thats ready for harvesting but oh so lazy i am...and its cloudy, wet and cold outside also.... ok ok thats an excuse, i mena i live in Norway is like that 70% of time anyway lol.
today we are planning a grill in the garden again with hoem made hamburgers and maybe a cauliflower souffle depending of how lazy i will be....and after that a lazy night watching a movie on dvd maybe??
we will see...off i go to no idea what lol.

what are all of your plans today?? Dysco btw are you getting a wedding dress? dd you choose one? or do you have one in your mind??? Picturesss please

 

[Hope81]

kanga i almost forgot, isnt your scan today? how dit it go? Good luck if you didnt have it yet, i hope for good news

 

[dyscochick]

Yes Kanga, do let us know how you get on.
My plans for today are simple, try and get some bl**dy work done instead of procrastinating on wedding planning and show shopping for the cocktail party I'm going to on saturday eek!

Wedding dress in is the discussion stages at the moment, haven't tried any on yet, will post pics when I do

 

[kanga86]

Scan appt is at 3 today so heading to hospital soon. I did another hpt this morning which came out positive still! Tmi info alert, I passed another large clot yesterday and had bleeding since so gods know what they will say at the scan.

I have gone out to my friends today and she is going to keep me company at the hospital as my oh is not available. He is at the hospital with his dad as his mum is in the icu. She had a really bad epileptic fit this morning followed immediately by others so they have sedated her. I wasn't wanted to stay, so cast out as usual!!

 

[dyscochick]

good luck Kanga, sound like they need to sort you out properly. Big hugs for you it doesn't rain but it pours huh! Is it a different hospital than where your MiL is?

 

[kanga86]

Nope it was the same one, but he didn't want to leave her.

Come back from the scan more confused than before, I had a trainee scan woman which was made worse because I needed an internal scan! So I was being prodded from all angles! I couldn't understand the women in the room anyway as the were indian or something similar, I'm not racist but it made to difficult to follow what they were saying, if they were even speaking English to each other. Also the one not scanning looked at my bits, said something to the scanner ladies then laughed! I'm sorry but are my private bits amusing to u, when I asked her she just muttered something about the probe!

Apparently I am expected to keep bleeding as there is about a 1cm size bit of tissue left, which according to the scan I had 3 weeks ago is bigger! Yet I have lost some rather large clots since that scan and there is still stuff left!! Makes sense not!! They aren't going to do anything and are leaving me for another 2 weeks, so if I am still getting problems then I will have to go back! God know long long they expect me to way for, it's been almost 4 weeks so far!! Like he'll am I waiting til I have been bleeding 6 weeks before they do anything, this is on top off the 2 and a half weeks they wouldn't do anything before I mc'ed naturally!!

Arrggh! I am so frustrated and annoyed, going to phone them up again later this week and try to speak to one of the nice ladies i never got to see today! Xx

 

[dyscochick]

I would hun, I think you need to demand a D and C or something. Don't they realise how horrible this is for you? Can you talk to your GP? Def phone again and try and speak to someone you've spoken with before, esp as clot is growing in size. Doesn't sound like they were very professional either, laughing etc. Hope OH will be home later to give you a cuddle, how is MiL?

I would have been in the same boat as you and had to wait either for surgery (minimum 2 weeks) or wait for it to happen naturally (prob 2-2.5 weeks they said) but as I knew the system I made them let me have a medical management at home so it was over 3 days after they found the mmc (tablet then pessaries). I would have been a mess in your situation so I think you are doing amazingly!!!! xx

 

[Bliss]

Kanga...sooo sorry this is still dragging on for you. Did you make the decision to let nature take its course or were you given options when you found out? I've seen others here mention that they were told they could wait weeks for D&C's, which is shocking. I was told I could have the op the next day...and they then moved to forward to the day I actually miscarried, as I'd been nil by mouth all that day since being admitted that morning. I really don't know how I'd have coped mentally if I'd had to wait.

I dont know how things work at your hospital, but up here you are scanned down at x-ray, they update the computer, then you go back to speak to the dr/consultant who goes over the findings and gives you options on how to proceed from there. Did they just send you away and tell you to wait out the next 2 weeks?Have you been given any other options (tablets, D&C etc). If not, I think that's bang out of order, as you're bound to be both physically and emotionally drained by now..with no foreseeable end to things yet.

Get back on the phone to them tomorrow and don't give them peace until you're happy with the answers they give you.

 

[cosmicgirl]

Hi all
So sorry for your losses.
I had mc in January at around 7 weeks. We are no longer ttc, well, not for the forseeable future anyway.
Lots of dust to you all for sticky beans x

 

[Bliss]

Crossed post Dysco..but it looks like you're thinking along the same lines as me.

Just noticed you mentioning the wait you were told for a D&C. That's shocking! The only thing I can put the difference down to is waiting lists..or the fact that I had been admitted because of the severity of the initial bleed (therefore they couldnt send me away 'half treated' i guess.....i dunno how things work). By the time I spoke to the Dr (and was given my options), the bleeding had stopped though.

 

[kanga86]

When I was first told about the mmc on 20th June they told me I had to go back in a week just so they could be should the sac had stopped growing with nothing in it before they did anything and that I didn't have my dates wrong. Which would have been impossible from when I got a pos hpt. At the next scan they saw the yolk sac which wasn't seen the time before so I was made to wait another week for a scan before they would help me. I ended up mc'ing a few days after this scan. At the following scan 3 weeks after I was told on the 5th July I had mc'ed most of the "stuff" naturally so they left me. I have been bleeding and spotting continually since then and finally phoned them again Friday last week 3 weeks after the mc started because of the pos hpt. And the rest I've explained in this thread earlier today.

So since I found out I have just been fibbed off each time with some excuse no offer at all to help me out with any of it!!

We have a separate early pregnancy unit with their own scan room, so apart from the first one which was in the X-ray dept, they have all been done there, with a doc to speak to after in a different room.

Today I didn't even speak to a doc after just got sent on my way, I was shocked that they werent going to do anything and wish my oh could have come with me. As he would have said something, I'm too much of a wuss to cause any trouble. Then really regret not saying anything after

Kind of annoyed at my oh as he has spent the whole day with his dad and mum in the icu, doesn't seem to care about how I'm feeling. I feel like such an outsider to their family even though I lived with them for 6 years before we moved out last year! I wasn't even allowed to stay at the hospital with them, it's like they don't think I'm worried about his mum at all! she has been for a cat scan and they haven't been given the results yet, and they are keeping her sedated overnight, no more news been given yet. Just feeling second best at the mo! I know it's no all about me, but it would be nice to have some support today too, it's like they expect me to be over it already. Getting fed up of being told ur body is just taking it time to finish everything by everyone ( OH and the hospital today) xxx

 

[MrsDraven]

Hope you're ok Kanga! xxx
Looks like me and Dysco are in the same boat haha! We're just arranging with the Town Hall to view the venue and should hopefully be able to book for December asap! Ooh and my wedding dress arrived the other day too! Soooo pretty!
In the meantime on the baby front I'm just waiting to get back to normal and hope we can try again after the wedding so I'm just keeping occupied with college work and wedding plans.

 

[dyscochick]

Ooh tell us more MrsD. Wish we were having a winter wedding so we could get on with baby making! I so never thought I'd have a year long engagement but OH really wants a summer wedding. Its all his fault for leaving proposing so long hehe! Hopefully June will be here before we know it, planning to get BDing properly after xmas anyway, wedding or not

 

[kanga86]

Well got to speak to one of the nice epu ladies today and she explained things so much better. 3 weeks ago on the scan it showed a small bit of sac remaining, this has since gone according to the most recent scan. She said that I just have a thickened lining which is like it is mid cycle, no retained tissue was seen so god knows what the other ladies saw! It is possible there is a tiny bit of tissue within the lining giving me the pos hpt, but it is also possible to have the hcg in my system 2 weeks after passing the last bit of tissue, which I think was Friday, 6 days ago.

Hopefully this means it is nearly over! Xx