ok major freak out today - big time(warningnot nice reading)

[Ginnymarie]

Hi guys
any advice or shared experiences would be so good here....

ok Sunday night I had really bad pains, like contractions I suspect a bit like labour (can anyone tell me how simiar miscarriage is in labour lying on back v painful.

Secondly - big question - I had a terrible experience today, kinda worse than sunday night......I passed a grey see through sac with red blob in middle, I was sure this was my baby, buried it and grieved. Excuse spellings. Anyway, Monday scan showed nothing was left.

Today ....to my horror I passed a bloody sinuey fibrous very tough clot about the size of erm I don't know a good couple of inches. It was so tough it would not break with my fingers, I saw a white cord, please don't say this was my baby, around it looked like really thick chicken skin. I am so sorry to be so graphic but I am terrified this was my baby although people have reassured me, my mum, happy chick and happy bunny that is maybe placenta, if it is placenta why take two days to come out and why oh why did docs not spot it.
Also blood is a wee bit smelly now.
Pain was actually worse with this mass than the grey tissue, god , think I am feeling better and bang this happens....
two days since happned, both mornings woke up feeling empty and sad, breasts are still sore.....my husband shed a tear on way home from work yesterday.
Feel better for writing this, any advice would help me so much, I realise it is awful writing such graphic stuff, it is for me so go to my mail if it is private or just say yes this is normal if you want to reassure me without telling me gory details (a few people have asked for gory details and it upset me, they don't mean to be upsetting, just have not been through it I guess).
this forum has been a godsend xxxxxxxx

 

[happy-chick]

Hope you find some comfort Gemma, Keep that chin up girl im here if you need me xxxx

 

[smurf]

Aw hun you poor thing when I had my mc I passed a gray sac and presumed that was my baby too. I think the girls are right in that the second mass you passed was the placenta I am so sorry you had to go through it its horrible but hopefully you'll be able to grieve now and its better to pass everything yourself than having to have medical management or d&c or anything. Give yourselves plently of time to grieve - it does take a while but with time gets much much easier. I tended to look at my mc as the trial run and found it easier to cope with that way.

 

[Ginnymarie]

Hello
are you pregant now
yes this gves me hope and makes me feel better
cried again this morning, i feel so empty and sad and drained...i know you guys will know how i feel, they say you will feel like this so I was expecting it, I am also a bit obsessed trying to find out why it happened as I saw the babies heart beat and it seemed to be growing, scared i do not produce enough progesterone ans it will happen again. Pain and bleeding have stopped now, it was very traumtic and like happy chick I have dreams I am bleeding and loosing the baby and when I wake up they are real
thanks for your suppoer xxx

 

[fynemum]

Aw Sweetheart,
So sorry your all upset and confused..... I believe you have buried your baby, It's not nice to talk about but sometimes we need to.
Your little one was attached by just a small cord that quickly breaks after loss, The smaller mass is the most likely to be your Little one.... the larger more firm mass would have been the placenta, lining of the walls of the womb (chicken skin). Please don't think the worst.....Sleep easy knowing you have done the right thing..... Sometimes nature gives you a natural type of D&C.... I hope this means you will stop bleeding now and that you can start to heal, physically and emotionally I hope this helps? Lv Yvonne xx

 

[Ginnymarie]

Thanks so much, this is so reassuring.
I think you are right, blood has really subsided.
It was just so horrible, I do feel haunted by it all.anyway saw lots of babies today in shopping centre and did not get too upset, immunized myself to it...saw pregnancy test kits and had to force myself not to cry, I guess lots of people feel just the same
thanks again for support and responses
xxx

 

[Happybunny]

Hi Honey,

Just wanted to give you a big big hug It is so difficult not to get upset when you see something that reminds you of what you have lost. It is completely normal and it will get easier as time passes.
It is also completely normal to go through 100 reasons why you may have miscarried....but the truth is, you'll never know, but you can bet your bottom dollar you have done nothing wrong, it is just one of nature’s sad foibles. Try not to worry about physical problems like progesterone just yet. Hopefully this was just a practice run and next time will be great. Even if the worse comes to the worse and you have another mc, docs will investigate after 3 (seems terrible to suffer so many) and they can help you with progesterone injections etc. I do worry a lot after 2 mc, but I keep my spirits up by talking to the other people here who have had 2 or 3 and still went on to have healthy babies.
You are very much in my thoughts Gemma…and I am always here if you need a friend
Michelle
xxx

 

[fothers]

sorry you went through this- I think what the previous people said was correct and you buried the baby.

You will eventually feel better but it will take time. Go easy on yourself

 

[loz]

This is so hard to cope with - reading your story made me nearly cry - I hope you are ok. It is so distressing - keep hoping. I am starting to think re getting pregnant again after my mc last week as looking forward is all you can do. Nothing can make you forget your little one. Big hugs.

 

[happy-chick]

Keep your chin up honey, you know im here for you whenever you need me.

I wont repeat what everyone else has said but want you to know im thinking of you! See you on MSN xxx

 

[Ginnymarie]

A big thanks to everyone

feeling so much better today I even went on TTC forum !

Meeting girls from my work on sunday morning for a coffee before work on mon so I can talk about it or not with our without crying. I am going to book a holiday to cheer myself up...as I said I could not have done this without you guys, no-one talks about m/c so you would never know what to expect in terms of pain, emotion, loss and recovery.

Physically I feel lucky as I feel as if I am healing quickly, I know some girls are still bleeding heavily, it may start again for me. I have written a wee story in tehe TTC bit and in a couple of months I will be on there all the time.

I had a rant about a colleague to happy chick today. Maybe you can empathise, he is total pervert and gets off more on the attention of the women who coo over him being a dad, yet, at 6 months pregnant he left his wife at home alone while he came clubbing with us only to be a total sleaze, so angry, when he has his baby and brings it in I will be full of resentment, rage and well I know it is mean.....im being honest though, if he was a nice guy I wouldn't be so angry...

speak soon
xxxx

 

[tracey 2]

hello hun

Sorry iv only just seen this hun, im glad you are feeling a little better today hun just take one day at a time and dont push yourself at all.

look after yourself, here if you wanna chat

 

[Ginnymarie]

Hi tracey I have added you as a contact so will look out when you are loggged on to msm
thanks againxxx

 

[Freya]

Hi just wanted to send you a big .

I had a miscarriage and know how hard it is. I hope this brings you some hope I then went on to have 2 children a girl (who is now 5 - and a boy of 10 months). Although I still remember the m/c - time is a healer and I now belive things happen for a reason.

Good luck TTC I will keep my fingers crossed for you and look out for you in the first trimester section.

 

[Mildly]

So sorry to hear about your miscarriage hun

Hope to see you in the TTC forum when you feel ready to try again

 

[Alfiesmummy]

i hope your feeling a little better hun, you have had such a terrible time of it havent u