OH -- don't know what to do

[jomc]

Well done hun, and I think thats the best outcome you cud have hoped for. Very happy for you xx

 

[Olive]

Glad things are better today.

 

[Bexybun]

May I suggest we avoid making this thread about our own personal opinions towards porn? I just think it could cause some people to feel uncomfortable about their personal preferences, which I don't think anybody wants... this is about MrsMc's problem and supporting her in that, rather than debating whether allowing your partner to use porn, or indeed porn itself, is right or wrong. Just trying to be impartial for all

~~~
MrsMc, I'm sorry to hear you're going through a horrible experience. I'd also never even heard of this fetish, like a few of the girls it baffles me how it could be a turn on to anyone, but there is a lot of weird sh*t out there.
I was wondering the same thing as Jayceesmumma- do you think 'forbidding' him to watch it possibly encouraged him to do it more? Maybe that's something to bring up with the counsellor.
I hope this doesn't offend, but I suggest you don't relax yet- an addiction is not so simple to just give up, and he may just have said he will go to the counsellor and have bought you all those things in the hopes that it deters you for a bit. I am speaking from experience of an ex promising me over and over that he would stop his disrespectful behaviour, get help for it, join support groups, etc... and it just never happened. I am not at all saying your OH is the same, but I just suggest you keep an eye on it- just because he says he will stop doesn't make it that simple. I really hope he does get help for your sake

 

[Jayceesmumma]

Jayceesmumma i'm one of those ones i'm afraid, even very light porn I wouldn't allow, I wouldn't kick him out over it, but it would definately put a strain on our relationship and I probably wouldn't be able to trust him. I just wouldn't want to be with someone who touches themself over other woman, makes me feel sick to my stomach tbh. I know alot of people disagree but im afraid thats me...

Just so that you don't think your all on your lonesome with this: I also feel this way. I gather from this thread that many women have no problem with their partners looking at soft, or even not quite so soft, porn, and I suppose if both partners are ok with this, then so be it. Each to their own, as enough girls on here have said. But personally I do NOT think that it is a normal thing that all men do. I think that a lot of that porn stuff is done by desperate, exploited people who have little choice in the matter for some reason or another, and I do NOT think that it is ok. I think that there are a lot of decent men out there who do not get a hard-on over looking at the humiliation of other people (mainly women), and call me naive, but I believe that my husband is one of those. I hope I am not upsetting anyone here, that is really not what I have in mind. Just wanted there to be more than just one lonely voice being of a different opinion.

I honestly didnt mean any offence by what i had said and im sorry if i made you feel that way my OH doesnt have any interest in it either. I know some women who do like porn, so its not just men.. its everyones personal choices which i greatly respect from both sides. Again, im sorry i caused this debate MrsMc

bexybun i agree, ive also had promises broken on the sex sites matter, so maybe make councilling something you can attend toether, to show him he has your full support while at the same time making sure he keeps his word..

Time will tell, i hope he can get rid of his habit for your family xxx

 

[littlemiss83]

Thanks susanne.

I have no judgement at all for anyone who watches porn, each to their own, I know lots of nice people who watch it, I just dont like the attitude that all men do it, ect, or want to do it, I think thats a tiny bit unfair. Yes, maybe men do get turned on by everything, but it doesn't necessarily mean all men deliberately watch or go looking for porn.

I think its great that we can all share our views, if we all had the same views the world would be a very boring place. I love hearing everyone's thoughts!

 

[Jayceesmumma]

I know all men dont do it.. my OH doesnt and doesnt understand why men enjoy it himself!

men/women.. we are all different and its not a gender biased thing..

same with opinions, i respect everyones views and love open mindedness always respective of peoples opinions so i do appreciate the same in return xx

Its nice knowing your not the only one in a certain boat, thats why i love this forum.. sometimes we have different views on subjects which is fine as long as we are respective.. which i hope i was and im sorry if i didnt sound that way, i really am.

 

[littlemiss83]

Yeah defo

I love hearing about other people's lives, their thoughts and how we all differ ect. I used to study psychology so i'm totally into debates/thoughts ect.

Luv this forum!

 

[Jayceesmumma]

Nice one i was genuinely worried i had offended, which i dont mean to do.. especially in such a sore subject for some.. pregnancy hormones really do a number on me lol
x

 

[Bexybun]

I know all men dont do it.. my OH doesnt and doesnt understand why men enjoy it himself!

men/women.. we are all different and its not a gender biased thing..

same with opinions, i respect everyones views and love open mindedness always respective of peoples opinions so i do appreciate the same in return xx

Its nice knowing your not the only one in a certain boat, thats why i love this forum.. sometimes we have different views on subjects which is fine as long as we are respective.. which i hope i was and im sorry if i didnt sound that way, i really am.

I don't think anyone was saying that about you sweetheart

I agree, as long as we are all respectful of each other- what worries me sometimes is on threads where there are very strong opinions, things occasionally get a bit heated- I just don't like confrontation, I'm a wuss lol x

 

[Sarah13]

Glad you've had a chat and feeling better now x

 

[Jayceesmumma]

I know all men dont do it.. my OH doesnt and doesnt understand why men enjoy it himself!

men/women.. we are all different and its not a gender biased thing..

same with opinions, i respect everyones views and love open mindedness always respective of peoples opinions so i do appreciate the same in return xx

Its nice knowing your not the only one in a certain boat, thats why i love this forum.. sometimes we have different views on subjects which is fine as long as we are respective.. which i hope i was and im sorry if i didnt sound that way, i really am.

I don't think anyone was saying that about you sweetheart

I agree, as long as we are all respectful of each other- what worries me sometimes is on threads where there are very strong opinions, things occasionally get a bit heated- I just don't like confrontation, I'm a wuss lol x

pregnancy hormones i think lol..

I dont like it when narrow minded people have to have their say and thats it..(not in this thread) thats why i left the forum last time which i hated.. and so many of the ladies/moderators i had bonded with had left too because of that, it was such a shame which is why im a tad cautious when it comes to differences of opinions/accidentally offending. Im genuinely the only one left now i think
Had a little run in with someone already so i just unsubscribed from that thread coz i would have lost my temper big time as it was a very sore subject for me and narrowmindedness is just a slap in the face sometimes.. pregnancy hormones dont help

We are here to support eachother

 

[Bexybun]

How very well-said xxx

 

[Jayceesmumma]

U know what im talking about xx

 

[Bunnykins]

I think most of us in the tri 2 & 3 rooms (can't speak for the other rooms as dont go in them often enough) know each other a fair bit now and are all pretty respective of each others opinions which makes me love this forum, I feel I can be myself and and mix with people who may or may not have differing opinions but who would support me when it matters. Debate is healthy we are all different afterall, but what makes the difference on this forum for me is that we are still supportive of each other, which is defo what happened here, we all feel differently about porn but we all came on to help and support mrsmc

 

[FebMum2Be]

Glad everything went well MrsMc and I hope the counseling helps your OH well done for you being strong xx

 

[Lilelephant]

Mrsmc appeciates it loads too! Love ya all x x x x x x

 

[Susanne]

Jayceesmumma - I really didn't feel offended at all, and in return didn't want to cause offence either. If I have - to you or anybody else - I apologise. Just thought I'd contribute my opinion, that's all. I really like this forum and the fact that we can all be open with each other and can also agree to disagree sometimes.

 

[Jayceesmumma]

just didnt want a heated dispute based on somthing i had said.. glad its all cleared up now.. not that here was anything to clear up as it appears we all understand each other

MrsMc how are you feeling today?

 

[Lilelephant]

A bit happier thanks hunnie x

 

[Jayceesmumma]

Very glad to hear it