OH didnt come home last night - i feel dreadful

[flopsybunny]

I don't know what I want from posting this thread. I just feel dreadful and need to vent. OH had a party last night and never came home. He told me he would. I just don't know what to think. I am so so so upset and I feel terrible too. These back cramps have been shocking since friday and were terrible last night. I still have them today and I have hardly slept and don't know what the hell OH has been up to!! He knows the consultant and the MW say I could go into labour any day and he does this to me! Its cruel!

Sorry thread is pointless, I just feel so upset and need to let it out a bit.

Xx

 

[cherelle]

Oh honey

Is he not answering his phone? Does he stay out sometimes?

Not sure what else to say other than what a knob!!! Hope he comes home grovelling with a damn good excuse! x

 

[flopsybunny]

He hasn't stayed out all night for a year. When he has been to parties like this in the past he has been back by 3.30am at the latest. He answered his phone at about 6am and when I asked if he was heading home he said yes...I'm still waiting.

I just want to feel relaxed and happy and secure for these last few weeks and between this now and worrying about going into labour early it isn't going to happen is it? I don't understand why he would treat me like this - I haven't done anything bad to deserve it.

Xx

 

[flopsybunny]

And I can be sure there will be no grovelling - if anything, he will find a way to blame me. Any rows we have are always my fault and any upset - apparently bring on myself. I Hate this side of him. I don't see it all that often, but I wish he only showed his nice side.

Xx

 

[PinkPanther]

Aw honey. What a pillock. I would phone him again to make sure he's on his way home. I would not let him turn the tables so he blames you (I've found men to be very good at this) stick to your guns and make him grovel.

When you're ready to forgive tell him he needs to treat you to something nice.

Hugs.xxxx

 

[cherelle]

Ah. Well as a bit of a mad party animal myself at times i can understand how you can be at a party at a friends and not realise the time until it starts getting light! Ive been in trouble with my OH a few tims for not coming back until morning ust because ive got carried away!

Having said that i dont think theres an excuse for doing this when you have a heavily pregnant woman at home who needs your support. My OH hasnt been drinking for a few weeks now and hasnt been out in ages - he wouldnt dream of staying out all night but i guess it just depends on what your relationship is like and and whats normal for you guys.

Maybe just try and talk to him about how you feel when he gets back? x

 

[clairebear22]

Oh hun poor you!

My OH's has only stayed out overnight twice in the 2 years we've lived together, both times I knew about it. I hate the way some men manipulate the arguement so that it's the innocent persons fault, my Mum's Husband does it to her and it makes me sick!

Just don't back down, if he tries to twist it say 'well I was here asleep, you were the one who didn't come home!'

Hope you're ok x

 

[tinks77]

Ah. Well as a bit of a mad party animal myself at times i can understand how you can be at a party at a friends and not realise the time until it starts getting light! Ive been in trouble with my OH a few tims for not coming back until morning ust because ive got carried away!

Know that feeling! My OH went through a spate of this, in the end I explained that I wasn't pissed off it was more I was worried that something had happened. We came to a deal that he'd be home by the time it was getting light.
He said he just didn't realise he was upsetting me as he thought I'd be asleep and not know if he was there or not.

I would stick to your guns, this is not your fault but try and explain how you feel, he needs to come to the realisation himself how thoughtless he's been, then the grovelling should commence! - this is how my OH works

 

[Xcitedmum]

My advice on this is for you to unleash the psycho pregnant woman within you - react in a manner that will enable him to see that this is not the time for him to be behaving in such an unresaonable, unresponsible manner. Scare him into thinking twice if he considers doing it again.... stupid man

 

[cherelle]

My advice on this is for you to unleash the psycho pregnant woman within you - react in a manner that will enable him to see that this is not the time for him to be behaving in such an unresaonable, unresponsible manner. Scare him into thinking twice if he considers doing it again.... stupid man

lol! love this advice!

 

[xshauna_bazx]

He needs to do some grovelling when he gets in! I would have words if that was me. Hope your ok. xxx

 

[BabysMomma]

Its awful when they don't come home. I've been through this myself in the past and it makes you paranoid that they're up to something and you can't even get to sleep wondering. Then you feel guilty for the first thought not being, oh what if something bad has happened. Then they come home and try and turn it around on you.

IMHO I would find it unacceptable whilst heavily pregnant and not forgive that easily, but I can be so stubborn when someone has hurt me. It could be that he genuinely didn't notice the time pass.

I know I've been at parties where one minute you get back from the club you're at...the next its 5am and the suns up, but my OH has been with me.

I've never stayed out on him, which is why it pissed me off when he's done it on me in the past. I guess guys just don't have the same thinking as us dolls and don't comprehend that they should check in with their OH to see if alls ok or to mention that they're staying out for a bit. The not mentioning thing pissed me off, I could have dealt with it if I wasn't expecting him home after the club shut etc.

I hope he's home soon and you're able to work it out hun x

 

[Xcitedmum]

lol cherelle I know 2 wrongs don't make a right but sometimes the only way to make a man see sense is to be as unreasonable as they are and at least she has the excuse of being pregnant if she takes it a wee bit too far hehehehe

 

[flopsybunny]

Thanks so much for all the good advice and support. He got in at 7am saying it was a good party - playing guitar and catching up with friends he hadn't seen for a while and time just went. I wasn't too worried about drunken behaviour as we don't drink for religious reasons but I do sometimes worry. He is a good looking guy and drunk women can be a bit full on!
Anyway he took me out, told me it would be the last time that's why he wanted to enjoy it. But I am still a bit miffed.

I didn't really want to unleash my scary pregnant woman side ( I have a hot temper at the best of times) because I don't want any more upset and stress.

I feel better now - just tired. I really am grateful for the support from you girls on here!

Xx

 

[Lou_1]

glad all worked out ok for u x

 

[BabysMomma]

Aww glad its all ok. Now go get you a wee nap or off to bed early and rest x

 

[Xcitedmum]

sounds like he was genuine and its nice that he has assured u it won't happen again. Well done on keeping the psycho pregnant woman locked up for now! hehehe now feet up and make him attend to your every need for the rest of the day xxx