Non-viable pregnancy confirmed, thinking about IVF

[Syd43]

God I really hope that business class comment doesn't come across as snobby, the point was just that the universe seemed to think it was a good idea to have me sitting next to a small baby for 12 hours in circumstances under which I would never normally be sat near a baby.

 

[Clementine]

Syd everything you're thinking and feeling is 100% normal, I was the same when I got my BFP's I had finally allowed myself to picture the future with a baby in it, before I got the BFP's I knew I really wanted a baby but when I got my BFP I realized just how big the want was, so when it was taken away it's very hard to accept or to understand why.
I believe that the spirit of those who have passed stay around you to look after you, maybe the little baby in business class was a way to let you know that your angel is near by.
Look after yourself and when you are in the UK I would share what you're going through with a trustworthy friend so that they can give you support xxxx

 

[Syd43]

Thank you so much Clementine, that's a lovely thought.

In the hour I've been in the office I've seen one colleague whose wife is due in 3 weeks and been told another colleague/friend had her waters break yesterday. Ended up blubbing on a friend's shoulder so I do have someone that knows now

xx

 

[stacesl3]

The moment you see that positive test it becomes real and in your head you start planning.....in fact most of us LTTC's have pretty much planned all these things in our head anyway! When its taken away it really is heartbreaking, at our age everything is so much more difficult to accept as we have to deal with that damn ticking clock to deal with!!
I'm so glad you have someone to talk to. DOnt forget im always here if you want to chat xx

 

[Syd43]

Thank you x

 

[BunnyN]

My 1st pregnancy was an accident and I was a bit shocked and worried about it but when it turned out to be a chemical I was deviated. I cried any time I saw a pregnant lady or baby for a month after. If you are long term TTC it must be even harder. I think its totally normal to find it hard being around babies after a loss. Hugs

 

[Syd43]

Thanks everyone. I'm feeling much better today, heading to the hospital shortly to see the gynae. OH and I had a long chat on the phone yesterday and he said he'll do whatever I want to do moving forward, if I want to go the IVF route he will 100% support me so I feel like a huge weight has been lifted. I don't know if I do want to go that route yet, will discuss with the doc this afternoon.

 

[Syd43]

Saw my UK gynae yesterday, they don't do medical management so I need to go back in another week and if it still hasn't passed he'll take me straight in for a d&c. My reflexologist tried to get things moving yesterday and I think she may have succeeded, quite crampy and bleeding is heavier.

He also said he thought going to IVF may be the right solution and said several times I really need to do it before my 45th birthday which is in 5 months.

He also said several times that I should think about donor eggs so my head is all over the place now!

 

[snowbee]

Syd that is great news that your oh is on board with trying IVF if that is what you decide. Good luck x

 

[Clementine]

Hi Syd, how did your follow up appointment go, hopefully you won't need the D&C, did you think any more about IVF? x

 

[Syd43]

Hi Clementine. Appointment got postponed to a week tomorrow but I think everything has passed, still bleeding but it's not s heavy.

I'm all over the place with IVF My biggest issue is trying to find a chunk of time where I can be in one country to do it. I've booked an initial consultation with the Lisfer clinic in early October just to understand what my options might be, hopefully by then my cycle will have started up again and I'll know where I am although I know that's not a given. If I go for doing it in the uk I think I could be looking at ec and et around Christmas plus I have the almost impossible task of getting my oh to fly over for a couple of days which is really difficult for him work-wise. If I do if in Bangkok I probably can't start until early Feb which is the month I turn 45 and my UK gynae kept stressing the importance of doing this before I hit 45.

Sorry for the essay Have you given it any more thought? Or rather have you come to any conclusions, I'm sure you've given it lots of thought.

 

[lisey]

They will say donor eggs because they will say you have a higher chance of success. The thing is, would you always wonder about you r own eggs? Some places would have said that I had no chance with my Amh but both IVF cycles went very well and got bfps on both.
Go with your gut on what's right for you as a couple xx

 

[Syd43]

I'm definitely going to try with my own eggs first. If that fails then I'll consider de but my oh is very anti.

 

[miamia]

Syd43 - good luck with yr cycling. Have you thought on combining ivf with PGS NGS to increase the chances of a successful outcome?

 

[Syd43]

Thanks miamia. I have considered it although a couple of people have suggested it may not be a great idea as it basically means taking chunks out of the embryo and can often result in a later miscarriage. I don't know enough about it to know how true that is.