Newlyweds desperate for a baby - is 21 too young?

[MrsB]

good luck shoegal - i'll keep my fingers crossed for you!

hubby and i are wtt and we've discussed things with friends who've said the fact we're thinking things through carefully shows we're serious and not just thinking "ooh cute little babies!". we know it won't be easy and there's never a "perfect" time but when it does happen all the hard work will be worthwhile!

 

[PinkPunch]

Its definitely not too young if your both ready. But if I were you, I would save up and move first. Otherwise, it will be harder to save when your pregnant because you'll want to buy baby things. If something is "holding you back" as you say, maybe thats a warning bell to wait a while yet?

 

[sexyamy2005]

i got married last june when i was 21, and were havin a little one in november this year, weve been together 6 years, been living together for 4 and people even now when we say we are married look at us like we have 4 heads, i mean EVERYONE we dont know!!

i dont understand why people thing its so alien, we wanted to get married, so we did, and we decided in feb last year for me to come off the pill and it would happen when it did, it has taken us until feb of this year, which we felt was aggggggggggges but wasnt really, but i agree with what the others are saying, if there is anything you want to go and do, do it now,

we have been on fantastic holidays and got our house b4 we got married, its not upto how we want it yet, but everything eventually will fall into place, it allways does,

as long as its a joint decision with you and hubby and its what you both want, go for it, you can allways study or go on exotic holidays with a little one,

good luck and follow what your heart says!!!!

xxx

 

[ria__x]

I'm 19 (20 in july) and i don't think 21 is too young, or my age now! (as i'm expecting my first baby boy in 9 weeks time ) if you and your partner feel ready, then get to it lady! Maybe start saving for a bigger place though.. As i'm stuck in one bed flat still even though i registered on housing list before i was pregnant! Grrr xx oh and in regards to career.. When baby bit older you have plenty o time to get a career!

 

[zarababy1]

i got pregnant with my first at 20 had him 24 days before my 21st birthday, he was planned, we didnt have a house at the time we lived with friends we hadnt been together very long but we knew we loved eachother and had big plans for our future, by the time it came around to having him we had a house both had good jobs ect OH joined the raf then we got married when he was 9 months old and moved in to our RAF house and got pregnant with our 2nd! we're very happy atm both 22 and we have enuff money too do what we want, things change i think if ur ready for a baby go for it!

 

[kay126]

I guess its all about personal situations and circumstances...

Im 20, 21 next month and have been with my OH for 1 year in about 2 weeks time and have been on the pill (unsuccessfully it would so seem!)... Last Friday- something and I really don't know what, just something told me to randomly do a Pregnancy test so I went after work did one in the bathroom without telling my OH i had bought one, it came up positive and so I walked into the kitchen and just blurted it out!

We went through so many up and down emotions wondering what was for the best for us and baby and day by day we got more excited and more broody and here we are, 20 and 25yrs old trying to save like mad to give our baby whatever they need in life and suddenly we're not the important ones any more...

All im trying to say is age doesnt matter, i guess the real point anyone ttc needs to look at is how selfless they are xxx

 

[shootingstar22]

My mum had me at 17 then my brother at 35. Both times wee hard for her in terms of adjusting to motherhood. At 17 it was hard as she was a child herself and she hadn't built a career... From my point I envy the fact that my mm and dad spent most of their time working and I spent most my time in school or with a childminder ( don't think it would have been bad if I wasn't an ony child then!).
Flash forward 18 years my mum had retired at 35 ( she did really well with her career) and then had my brother. She was just a stressed and everything was new again ( especially because it was a boy this time). The only difference I can see with the two of us is that my brother gets to see more of my parents, and they ate slightly more relaxed, but their parenting style is still the same.

In a nutshell I dont think it matters about age, it's about who you are and how you deal with things. When people say " it was better when I had my second later on in life" you gotta remember that they have been through it once before so they have a bit more confidence than they did the first time round ( the 18 years with my parents was a it too long to retain that confidence much lol!).

Anyway I am 24, getting married in just over a month and have now stopped taking the pill. Where as before I was scared about having kids and being pregnant I now feel ready to raise a family- my oh is 4 years older and he is ready. Like he says, it's not about age it's about how you feel....

X

 

[JJ Mum]

I had my first (unplanned) when I was 25 and I know that seems alot older than you youngys are talking about, but I got really depressed and really struggled to cope with change of lifestyle so it can happen at any age.

You do need to be able to have family, friends or a partner to help with kids be able to go out and continue some of the things that you did before to remain you as well as a lovely mum. My OH was great and I carried on my sport in the evenings.

I managed just fine the second time and beyond as I knew what It would be like and how to find ways to cope.

Money wise there never will be a right time, but two salarys , but moving or bying before your too fat with baby , you stand a better chance at a morgage loan than after baby is born.

Good luck all you youngys!

 

[midnight]

i had my 1st when i was just 18 im now 28 with 4 kids on hoping to try for no 5 in a few months only got married last year
it hasnt been easy i tell you and sometime i think oh i wish i could just go on a girly holiday or even a couple holiday but if i could turn back time and have kids later i still wouldnt haha

 

[mopmum4X]

wow mopmum4x that's amazing - congratulations on you're lovely brood!

thanks so much to everyone for all of your advice, you really are all so sweet : )

OH & I have decided to TTC - who knows how long it could all take, so we may as well get going!

wish us luck lol

Hey thanks!! Good luck with ttc keep us all updated

 

[sarah1]

Wow I have just been reading this thread (I was taking a break from my work...honest!) and I think it's great how much you have all thought about TTC. I'm 25 and my OH is 35, were getting married in 3 months. Unfortunately just had mc but we didn't even think about our marriage 'getting in the way' of TTC. I had a friend tell me the other day that we should wait for 5 years to have kids, so we can enjoy marriage. It might be naive but the only way we both want to enjoy our marriage is to have children in it! My OH doesn't want to be an old dad, and I have done everything I wanted to do - I have travelled, worked and travelled, studied to become a lecturer and crossed most things off my list. We are lucky that we had enough money to buy a new house just after we got engaged, but I think even if we lived in a little one we'd stil be TTC. I think its such a personal choice and I wish you lots of luck TTC....don't forget to have fun trying!! xxxxx

 

[sarah1]

oh, and like someone else put up there ^ there's lots of time for careers when your kids go to school! I find in my job working with young people you are taken a lot more seriously if you have kids.

 

[xbeax]

I am 18, 19 in september and i feel ready to be a parent. both me and my partner have full time jobs and work hard and save money, we are quite lucky to of inherited a 3 bedroom house otherwise we may of not considered a baby just yet. however i think age is just a number Its maturity that matters x

 

[LouiseB]

I don't think it is age at all.

I'm not entirely comfortable with people intentionally getting pregnant when they are still dependent on their own parents unless they actually asked their parents first, who consented.

I'd just hate to get to my later years of my life and be faced with either abandoning my grandchild who literally needs me or having my last chance to enjoy life being stolen away from me and my husband

 

[stacey121]

Im 21, getting married in may and have been with my fiance for 6 years. We are financially secure and have all the love in the world for our future children ( fingers crossed). we are going to start trying within the next year so if all goes to plan i wont be much older than you are and i think thats the perfect age. My sister had her baby at 18. i thought she was too young but she is a fantastic mum and as other have said not everyone is career minded. bringing up a family is the best job in the world!

best of luck with whatever you decide

 

[xshauna_bazx]

Bit late on this post but, i had second thoughts when i first TTC thinking i was too young and now i want it sooo much i still get nervous but i know i really want this i am 20 21 at xmas so age doesnt matter aslong as you know its what you want xxx

 

[NatEvz]

Again a bit late posting on this thread, but me and hubby were both 22 when we got married, been together for 6 years, lived together for just over a year in our own home and we both felt ready to add to our little family. We are 23 now and will be 24 not long after the baby is born. I think that it doesnt really matter about your age, its just whenever your both ready xxx

 

[misscrazycooki]

Age is just a number. I'm 21 and have wanted a baby for years so like everyone saying its up to you ! x

 

[cherelle]

Ive just started ttc and im 22. My OH is 32 and we have only been together 8 months or so! I think when you are ready you just know, as long as you are in a position to be able to provide for a little one both financially and emotionally then whos to say otherwise?

If you feel youve achieved all that you wanted to do beforehand then i say go for it! x

 

[HelenJ]

I was 23 when my son was born and my husband was 22 ( when my baby was 9 weeks he became 23) now I am pregnant again and will be 25 (my due date is just a few weeks after my birthday) and my husband will be 24 when the second baby is born. We have been together for almost 5.5 years now and have been living together for 1.5 years. I don't think this is really young (but it is compared to most women where I live who are usually close to 30 and/or well over 30 when they get their first child I am ' young' ).