Newlyweds desperate for a baby - is 21 too young?

[shoegal]

Hi everyone : )

My husband and I just got married a few weeks ago and we can't wait to start a family - we've been together almost 6 years and have always spoken about how we will have kids while we're still young... but is 21/22 too young? And is it too soon into our marriage?

We're both so broody & I've got such strong urges to TTC! I'm starting to obsess over it lol

The only thing holding me back is that we might not be able to afford it right now & the fact that we live in a one bedroom flat... but it will most likely take a year for us to have a baby, by which point we could save up & move!

Hope you can offer us some advice...

Looking forward to sharing this with all of you : )

 

[AugustMum]

Im totally in a differnt position as I didnt try to get pregnant and not married....however, Im 22 and I dont feel its too young to have a child at all. I think its quite a nice time really, because Im still young and active and Im able to do things with the baby but when she gets older Ill be young enough to still do everything I want to

I cant comment on whether its too early in your marriage but if you both feel this is what you want then I cant see a problem. The average couple takes up to a year to fall pregnant anyway and then youll have another 9 months. Lots of time to save Hope this helps a little!

 

[FebMum2Be]

I am 19, 20 in September, and gave birth to my son at the end of January, I don't think I'm too young.. I still live with my mum, but me and OH are saving for our own place which we will be in pretty soon.. When people hear a young girl becoming pregnant, some automatically tag you as a "silly little girl".. But I think it is a personal choice and you know yourself if you are ready for a child.. A young mum is just as capable of giving a child the love, stability and support as a woman of any other age would.. If you and your OH feel the time is right for you then I wish you all the best and look forward to following your journey wether its TTC or WTT x

 

[bearsmummy]

I'm 20 and i don't feel too young! I have some financial problems and still live at home but i'm working on it all so i don't see any problems x

 

[Terrie]

im a 22 year old married mum of 2 toddlers (3years and 21months) and ive been with my husband for 6 years.

i dont think 21 is too young..

 

[Tonks]

I don't think 21 is too young, but if you have ANYTHING you want to do then do it first. I mean if you've always wanted to travel, or wanted a bigger place. Get it all sorted and out the way first before you start trying.

Personally, I would also enjoy married life a bit first but that's just me.

 

[racheldee]

i'm 18 and although some people may think i'm too young, i feel mature enough to have children, i don't think 21 is too young at all if you both feel ready to ttc!
good luck

 

[shoegal]

thank you everyone for your advice - really appreciate it!

i know we feel ready to become parents, and i've never desperately wanted a career, so what am i waiting for?!

need to talk about it more with OH, but i'm more than happy to make sacrifices if it means i can be a mummy - literally can't stop thinking about it! anyone else have this?

i don't care too much about a career right now, or travelling... all my brain can think about is babies babies babies!

 

[Terrie]

i know what you mean, our first child was an accident baby but once we found out we knuckled down and bought a house.. then we got married (which we were planning on doing anyway) and then we started ttc number 2.

ive never wanted a career, i love being a parent and i dont feel me and my husband have missed out on anything..

i mean, whats the point in wasting time waiting if you dont want anything else..

 

[Meep]

I don't have any kids yet, but if you both feel ready and you both want it, then what can be wrong You're clearly both committed to each other, and if you feel ready to start your own family then go for it!

 

[Me, My Girls & I]

i'm 21 and i've got a 16month old and a 17week old! i dont think it's too oung at all, but like tonks said, if you've got anything you want to do then do it first! i was never bothered about a career or travelling, but i am finding now i'd like a better job and to be able to go on holiday and jsut chill! but no, its defo not too young!!

 

[HelenJ]

I don't think it is too young when you feel like starting a family. I also live with my parents (and husband) and we just bought a house which we will move in January 2011. I fell pregnant when my husband was living on his own and I still lived with my parents, when I was 5 months pregnant he came to live with us. When we eventually move we have been living with my parents for almost 2 years. Perhaps it was not the best but I am happy we have had this start. Living in a one bedroom flat is not a problem to start even if you live there for a couple of years with a baby/toddler, things will always work out

So if you and your husband are ready please do ttc. I love the fact people who are also (considered) young are getting children/become parents this is not compaired to all the (much) old(er) ladies (meaning 35+) who are then starting a family.

Good luck with your decision.

 

[Moorish_idol]

You are in the same boat that I was in minus the marriage. Me and JAson had been together for 4 years and wanted a baby so bad but it took ages to conceive but I had my son (very early) when I was 21. As long as you are mature enough and can support a baby financially but most importantly emotionally then go for it xxx

 

[Bead]

From the other end of the spectrum, I'm 37 - recently married for the first time.

I would say I was too young to start trying for a family until I was... 37! So just goes to show, everyone is different. Go with your heart - it's obvious from reading your post that it's what you both really want, so you'll have lots of love (and energy at your age!) to give.

All the best Xx

 

[mopmum4X]

I was 21 when i had my first, i dont think its to young, but it all depends if your mature enough, i'm 25 and pregnant with my 4th now!!! But good luck with trying when you start. x

 

[frankie247]

I've just turned 23 and get married in 10 days, me and my fiance have decided we will ttc after the wedding...in fact, i think many friends and family are suspicious that i'm already pregnant (i'm not - but i have wanted to be a mum and have a family for a good few years now, and feel like i've been waiting for a long time) but i have managed to do the things that i want to do, so i have no regrets in the future, i have my degree, i've travelled, volunteered and had fun. Now i'm ready to embark on the next chapter of my life.

Good luck!

 

[xshauna_bazx]

i feel exactly like you all i can think about i babies and im 20. Just go for it xx

 

[CatBana]

Hi girls. Here's my very honest opinion!
Well I had my daughter at 22 and I think it was too young for me. I feel like my partner and I didn't get much time to enjoy the freedom of just being together, going out, going on holiday etc. I feel that I missed out on living in a house with friends, girly holidays, even girly nights out. It put a stop to my education, my career, my social life and if I'm honest my entire identity. I went from seeing my friends every day and being full of life to never seeing them. It was so painful for a long time as I mourned the loss of my sense of self.
Flash forward 4 years, I have a lovely daughter and am *still* adjusting to this life. I am proud and privileged to be a mum but am constantly treading water to remain a human being in my own right and not just decide to curl up and die and give up on my own interests just cos I had a baby when young.
Being a parent is the hardest thing in the world but at the same time the very best thing. When was anything that was worth doing easy?
I think my point is that it really depends on who you are at the young ages of 19, 21, 22, and being realistic about the new life. DO NOT underestimate the emotional impact of having a baby. If you are prepared then it will be so much easier. Your old life is over when you have a baby - but you do get a new one with a special little mini person who's always around. Just know what you're letting yourself in for, you will not be just continuing on with your life, you'll just have a baby - no now your baby is your life.
I'm trying to conceive again so obviously am happy I'm a mum, just wish I'd been prepared last time. Good on you lot for discussing your hopes and doubts, v mature indeed.
x

 

[Pudds86]

I was 22 when I got married, and I was ready for a baby before the wedding- I dont think it would have bothered me if we had been pregnant before being married. Anyway...if you feel ready then go for it. There is never a right time to have children and I think you will always be wondering whether you can afford it. We are also in a 1 bed flat but are planning to move in the next few months. The only thing I would say is to be ready... it might not take a year- you might do it first try! x

 

[shoegal]

wow mopmum4x that's amazing - congratulations on you're lovely brood!

thanks so much to everyone for all of your advice, you really are all so sweet : )

OH & I have decided to TTC - who knows how long it could all take, so we may as well get going!

wish us luck lol