Never thought I'd be in here

[toni64539]

Sounds naive but it happens to other people, not me! Isnt that an awful thing to think, but unless it's happened to you you never can imagine. Im suppose to be 11 weeks today, but yeterday I woke up, blood everywhere and went to the loo, wiped and it was there on the tissue. I just screamed, hubby came running in and just told me not to look at it I'm so traumatised by what I saw, and in a complete frightened state of shock I just flushed it down the toilet. It isn't until now that I think, how could I of done that, how disrespectful! I just don't know what to think. The hospital were rubbish, refused to scan me as its the weekend, it's just not possible unless I'm dying from ectopic apparently, so I have to wait for a phone call telling me when I can go in for a scan, although I don't see the point cos obviously it's not there anymore. I'm just in a mess, the bleeding has stopped and I've had no pain, is this normal? Will I need a d&c? My thoughts and prayers are with anyone going through/been through this situation, no human being should have to go through it, and in such a graphic way. Love and hugs to you all xxx

 

[jojo3972]

Hi I'm realy sorry u have had to go through that nobody should have to see that and altho I have had 2 mmcs I never seen anything altho my first was a medical managed mc I did see clots but nothing else and I ended up with an erpc that time and opted for it this time I was 5 and 10 weeks devastating thing to happen I'm currently ttc again this is my second cycle since my mc in may,some ladies hardly bleed at all, u will need to have a scan to check all has gone otherwise u could get an infection,take care and give urself time to grieve xxx

 

[Sunbeam638]

Hi Toni,

I'm so sorry you had to go through a mc. I started bleeding on a weekend and had to wait till the Monday to find out then passed in naturally at home in the same way. It was all a bit sudden had really strong cramps then it just "fell out" which I didn't expect so I felt the same.

If it's all passed naturally you won't need a d&c but I think the scan is worth having to make sure your cervix returns to normal & that all the tissue has gone.

I had a period for a week but was more brown and not painful. Once you go to docs & things work on getting yourself better & be kind to yourself!

Lots of hugs xxx

 

[Katkin72]

Hi Toni, I'm so so sorry to hear about your mc I have just lost my baby too, though with me I found out when i had an early scan and they told me there was no heartbeat. I had a D&C last Saturday. You must be so traumatised by what happened, my heart goes out to you. You're right, you never think it will happen to you. Sending you lots of love and hugs. Look after yourself xxxxx

 

[linxminx21]

im so sorry you had to go through this hun! i dont personally know what its like to lose a baby at 11 weeks i lost mine at 5ish weeks.

but my sister has lost a baby at 17 weeks at home and it was the most terrible, upsetting thing iv ever seen! my heart goes out to you and your oh, lots of hugs, minx x x

 

[CARNAT22]

Oh dear Toni,

You experience sounds horrible but please try not to feel guilty - you were not 'disrespectful' in anyway.

I've had 3 miscarriages (2 were quite early - before 6 weeks) the first one was a bit later and took 20 days to occur. However all of mine came with spotting - so I at least had some kind of warning.

Sadly far too many women have suffered the cruelty of miscarrying, sometimes more than once.

I am sorry you found the hospital so unhelpful - I think when you go back to the EPU to be scanned you will find them a lot more helpful as this is what they deal with? A&E aren't great with miscarrying women by all accounts.

The scan will determine if you need any more medical intervention so please make sure you contact your GP (or go directly to EPU) tomorrow.

Keep well - make sure you eat and drink and rest

xxxxxxx

 

[toni64539]

Thank you so much Ladies. I have LOVED this forum, all through my last pregnancy, even when we were ttc, then this pregnancy and now this loss. You have all helped me do much and I am so gratefull, you all have a lovely way with words and I appreciate your (virtual) hugs/prayers/thoughts. Thank you

 

[Katkin72]

We're all here for you to support you through this heartbreaking time - everyone here has been amazing in helping me get through my recent mc. Don't think I could have kept sane without everyone's love and support. Thank you.
I hope I am able to give something back to the forum and provide some support to you and other ladies going through this terrible terrible loss. Nobody should have to go through such pain and heartache, but sadly it is a very common occurrence (not that knowing that makes you feel any better when you're going through it yourself). It breaks my heart to hear what you are going through Look after yourself and give yourself time to heal emotionally and physically. Thinking of you lots.
Kath xxx

 

[laurat]

Really sorry honey! Xxx

 

[Samsgirl]

Hey sweetheart...I am so sorry....

I lost baked bean when i was just under 10 weeks pregnant...it also happened quite sudden with me. Lots of pain, felt like I needed a poo....went to loo and it just fell out into the toilet. I also just flushed and then after didnt know whether i should have...I did stare at it for a little while and muttered 'bye bye baked bean'...then had to go and tell hubby. so i kind of know what you are going through...

all i can say is the pain does ease,,,i promise....the scan is just to check that everything has passed okay...

keep strong and it will happen again for you soon xxx

 

[toni64539]

Thank you for sharing your story

 

[lizsamuel80]

Hi Toni,

I felt exactly the same with my first loss. I just flushed it and felt so guilty for such a long time. With my second I was 10 weeks and I knew what was happening because I had been spotting for a few days and had a scan to tell me that the baby had stopped growing a few weeks before hand. That one I saved I held him for a little while and he just looked like the picture on my phone app just floating in a ball of liquid. He is now buried under an apple tree we planted one for each baby. Some people asked why we were planting 2 (most people knew about the 1st not the 2nd) and to get nice apples you need 2 to cross pollinate so that explained it to most people. I feel better about the second one I had closure and there is no guilt.

I really hope you get through this difficult time and rest up. It's something that should never have to be experienced by anyone. I'm thinking of you and sending you lots of viral and wish you all the best for the future.

Liz

 

[smac]

Hi, I too flushed my first one , didn't know what to do as it caught me by surprise.
I did fish it out the loo to begin with and looked at it, called hubby and think I freaked him a bit but then I poped it back down loo and flushed it away as no idea what I should have done with it.
I'm quite matter of fact and although right now I'm just starting mc no3 and I'm hurting and sad and angry
I also realise that it's natures way. I think the vast majority of early pregnancy losses are due to genetics not being right.
My close friend lost her baby at 37 weeks, she found out at 34 weeks that the baby had a big congenital heart problem and wasn't forming properly and would need lots of medical help should it survive.
Not that's just cruel, give me an early mc any day.
NO ONE should have to go through that.
I hope you manage to get whatever help you need and try to rest and don't be hard on yourself.
I had to have a d&c after my first despite passing lots of blood
And also seeing the baby. It wasnt till 2-3 weeks after the mc that I passed out and had to go to a@e via ambulance.
I'm not wanting to frighten you but do try and get checked out.
Although I'm going to work today,
I will be calling Epu and perhaps getting a scan tm once I've passed some more blood.
I will also take a pg test in about a weeks time to check all the placenta is away.

 

[H16]

I'm so very sorry for your loss hun, I hope you are doing ok.

When I miscarried recently I felt exactly the same as you - "it happens to other people, not me." It's just not something you ever expect to have to go through yourself

Make sure you take good care of yourself and cry when you need to, my thoughts are with you xxx

 

[mumsy4]

Hi sweetie
I'm so sorry you had time go through that. I remember going to loo after spotting and hearing a massive plop down the toilet, and the fear I felt, the panic, I felt sick I couldn't look down the toilet. I called my oh in and he looked and he said he could see something and what should he do, I remember in my blind panic/shock/fear saying just flush just flush. I''ll never know truly if it was my baby down there because it wasnt a straight miscarriage, I was carrying twins and lost both babies on separate occasions and then still had to have a dnc to get rid of everything. Please don't feel guilty about flushing, the absolute terror I felt I can not describe, there was nothing you could have done.
I think planting something, a tree, like someone else said it a lovely idea, almost like the babies spirit lives on in something that will grow and grow for years to come. I wish I had done something like that. Maybe one day I will.
Sending you lots of love xxx

Sent from my GT-I9300 using Tapatalk 2

 

[longingforabump]

So so sorry for your loss.

Both my pregnancies ended in a loss and with my mc although it was natural I had the same thing and after staring at it for a while I also flushed. Its not disrespectful at all, its a clean, hygenic way of disposing at home.

Massive hugs to you at this time.

life is very cruel sometimes and I am with you on the thought of 'it'll never happen to me' I had no idea what an ectopic was when I had mine!

There are some very supportive ladies on here that will help all the way

Get some rest and allow yourself time to grieve

 

[toni64539]

My scan is tomorrow morning. The said Wednesday 1st but I kicked off, I think it's disgusting and inhumane that they have made me wait 4 days to get a scan. The system is rubbish. I'm dreading it even though I know there's nothing there it's just still going to be so sad. Thanks again for all your comments and for sharing your experiences xx

 

[Iwant3]

so sorry for your loss- I can't begin to think how you feel.

 

[netty]

so sorry to see you here hun, i MC mine on a commode in a&e and i felt same like i should have kept it, buried it? but dont feel that way hun

give yourself time to heal

 

[toni64539]

Update! Didn't know whether to update in here or not but thought it only right. Went for my scan and we still have a baby! It was twins, one died at 8 weeks and that's what I passed! It's a miracle. Still sad but lovely too! Thank you or all your help and support!