Never thought I would be posting here

[Tick-Tock]

Some of you may have already read my story in first tri.... I went for my 12 week scan on Thursday and was told that there was no baby, I had a blighted ovum...... and started to miscarry naturally later that evening. I am now undergoing medical management and have to go into hospital tomorrow to ensure i have a complete micarriage.

I just feel so wretched today and can't imagine ever feeling any better. I still find myself talking to my "baby" in my tummy when i am alone.... but I'm empty aren't I?

All I can think about is when we can try again.... I want to not use any contraception and just see what happens, whereas OH wants to wait until I have had one normal period. I know the second option makes more sense and he has lost a baby too and has to cope how he can, I should be less selfish. He has gone back to work today whereas i can't imagine ever having the strength to go back. I just want to curl up into a little ball and not come out until its all better....

Does this ever get any better................?

 

[Lyn_no3]

hi hun first of all
i'm so sorry for your loss
it might not seem like it now but it does get better, i had the same as you in may last year and for the first couple of months after i was sensitive to every pregnant lady n did feel really lonely, but slowly i started to feel much better and found normal routine helped me thru the hardest bits

take plenty of time to rest and recover

 

[jocymum]

I've been there and I promise it does get better...
The empty feeling is awful and I think in a way it's a different kind of grief if you know it's a blighted ovum, other people also find it harder to understand and say things like 'so there wasn't a baby then' as if that helps !!!!!!
It is always you and your OH's choice as to when to try again but I would try not to rush yourself if you can wait a month or so -- just a little time can be helpful and make you more ready for the wonderful pregnancy that you WILL have

 

[Happybunny]

Hi Honey,

I am sooo sorry you are going through this, I really understand what you are going through. I sent you a pm yesterday hun.
I promise it will get better. Only a week ago I made a similar post to this, but already I am feeling much more optimistic and the pain is easing with each day.
Don't set yourself any harsh goals or targets, take as long as you need to grieve and recover. It really will get better, but until then, please take comfort and know that my heart goes out to you and you have a friend here that you can talk to if you need.

M
xx

 

[tuck]

SoSo sorry to hear your sad news. I have also been there and you will start feelin better, It is really hard i know, the doctors do recommend that you wait until you have had at least 1 'normal' period before you start trying again. It will happen and when you speak to people i was amazed how many had also suffered.

Take care and good luck

 

[fothers]

So sorry for what you are going through

I had a missed miscarriage detected at my 12w scan too so know how shocked you must be. I had medical management and we decided not to wait before trying again. Unfortunately I'm not pregnant again yet though.

It will get easier through time and we are always here if you need to chat

 

[rach]

so sorry to hear your news hun give yourself time things will get easier i promise you will never forget but you will learn to deal with things easier we are all here for you should you need any of us
be gentle on yourself hun its early days yet xxx

 

[tracey 2]

hi hun im so so sorry it will get better in time just take each day as it comes.

I have PM'ed you hun

 

[lsmith1984]

It does get easier hun, i promise you.

I have pm'd you. Take care of yourself

Laura xx

 

[Little Miss Joslyn]

It does get better hun like Ismith said. You are bound to feel like this as you have experianced a dreadful loss which may not seem real. I remember feeling the same after my miscarriage 2 years ago.
Give yourself time to grieve before going back to work and be good to yourself as it wasnt your fault. x

 

[Tick-Tock]

Thank you for all your messages.

Yesterday wasn't too traumatic and I must say it had a lot to do with the nurses on my local epu ward. They made a very difficult time a lot easier.

I thought I was coping surprisingly well yesterday and even contemplated going in to work for a few hours today. However when I woke up it hit me all over again..... it was hard enough getting up for a shower there is no way I can go in..... I think I have kept going for the last few days by having things I had to get through.... OH's birthday on Sat, going in for the medication on sun and the day in hospital yesterday. But today all that is in front of me is not being pregnant.... I don't know if I have explained that well but I don't really know how to say it. It just seems like I have this huge mountain in front of me that I will only get over when I get my next period and we can start trying again. I have agreed to wait after reading someone (can't remember exactly who sorry) saying that if you aren't PG with that first period then it can be like you are M/C again... I want to try to view the first period as something positive.... its here and now we can start TTC. Then there is the mountain after that that will only be passed when I am PG again and I know that's the biggie.... Although I got PG by accident I can just imagine its going to take me years as i want it so much more now.....

OH is coping by getting on with his life.... I know thats the only way i will too but right now I just can't see it.... I'm fighting with the thought that if I don't go into work for a few hours before I go back properly I will have nothing to do as i work with growing cell cultures and if I don't bring them back from frozen then I'll have hardly anything to do which will be the worst... I think when I go back properly I'll have to be busy to take my mind off it all. And being busy will help me try to avoid the nosy parkers at my work who think they have the right to know what is going on in everyones lives.... One of the things that hit me this morning was that I may have to deal with them sooner than I am ready....... I just couldn't face it today......

Sorry for the long ramble.
Thank you again
J

 

[rach]

 

[Little Miss Joslyn]

Hi Tick Tock, Please dont worry about going back to work as i think you will find that the majority of your collegues will avoid you as they wont know what to say. This happened to me and I felt like they didnt care but they didnt want to upset me. You will get the odd one who doesnt know what happened and ask silly questions but you just have to be strong. I work in a shop and the amount of customers who didnt know who asked me how the baby was and one asked me 3 months ago which felt like a thorn in my side and annoyed me. Word will get around and you wont have to keep explaining yourself and keeping busy will keep your mind off things but letting it all out helps too.
Take care and thinking of you. x

 

[Happybunny]

Hi Honey,

I am glad the hospital was okay. I know what you mean when you said it was difficult to get your head around not being pregnant. I think that was hard for me too. I didn't drink or eat things you shouldn't in pregnancy for a week or two after (still not drinking now, but that is a life style choice). I kept instinctively patting my tummy and thinking that people would be giving me their seats. It sounds silly, but you do spend quite a few weeks getting into the 'pregnant' mind set, being suddenly ripped from it can be hard to accept. It took me until about this weekend to really, finally come to terms with not being pregnant any more.
It will take you time, but you will get there. You are right to expect your first period so that it will be easier when it does come.
You really are in my thoughts, it is a terribly sad time for you. Please take care of yourself and I promise you will feel better in time.

Love
M
x

 

[fynemum]

so sorry for your loss Tick Tock
I am glad your feeling better, and i want to assure it every day it does get a little better. take care sweetheart, Lv yvonne xx