Mums, what do you wish you'd known?

[Eryinera]

I wish I had known it wasn't going to be as bad as I thought I went in expecting it to be the worst experience of my life but a good sense of humour goes a long long way!!

I wish I had known that gas and air makes you be sick before it kicks in and you get that pain relief! I felt like I had to reach a ceiling with nausea and dizziness then you break free and you care about nothing!

I wish I had ignored the nurse on the ward who kept telling me to walk around to start the labour when I was exhausted! I wish I had just had an hours kip first! Labour didn't start til 12 hours after she told me that!

I am glad I listened to my midwife and tried to relinquish control as much as possible I tried to be a blank sheet and just do as I was told for the first time in my life and I'm glad I did I had no stitches a graze from sons fingernails and no arse pills!!!

On that note I didn't know that after I delivered the baby I had to deliver the placenta that was yukky!

I wish I had brought in my own music I ended up shouting at George Michael because he was a man and wouldn't go through labour.... but then as my son was born I am beautiful by Agularia came on and I burst into tears

After the baby is born they have bent legs! I was in tears when my son wouldn't stop crying when I tried to put him in a baby grow and I spotted the bent legs for the first time I thought I had broken them I was hysterical but the midwife just giggled at me lol.

It's perfectly OK to not have the faintest idea how to change a nappy! When my son first pooped in the ward I just stood there looked at him and asked another mum what the hell do I do!!!!

I also supported a full on 70's look I figured once I couldn't see my bits any more sod em lol!

I wish I had known I wasn;t going to be a prude when the time came I spent ages choosing clothes that I could go through labour in that would preserve my dignity in the end I just threw everything off I asked when I should take my knickers off... i was told i would know when... and you do lol!

I didn't know the midwife would ask if I wanted to feel the head coming out I stopped mid contraction to ask her if she was insane!

When the head is about to come out I felt it sort of go up and down a lot inside me before it actually came out I thought nothing was happening!

My OH wished he knew how hard it was to cut the umbilical cord (he also wishes he didn't look when the baby actually came out lol!)

I wish I had gone on Mat leave closer to my due date I ended up at home a lot doing nothing but being incredibly horny and I had nothing to take my mind off it.

And yes peeing burns after I had to run a bath each time I needed a wee lol.

 

[Jojo84]

i wish i knew how dissapointed id feel when i didnt get to hold my baby for an hour and a half. i had an emergency c-section and thre was a lot f work to do after , also due to my bp going down quite far and pure exhaustion i didnt get to hold him for an hour and a half. i felt like everyone else got to him before i did... i wish id been more prepared for that.

 

[Rose83]

Bumping this thread as it was such a great read! X

 

[MamaMoo]

I wish someone had of told me that your (sorry tmi) poo will be black due to the iron supplements you're given to replenish your iron levels. I had an emergency t-section and thought something was wrong. I sat in the toilet crying wondering what was happening and eventually plucked up the courage to ask the nurse. She laughed at my naïvety and I did too. But girls, I really wished someone had of said something beforehand lol.

 

[mamto3boys]

1. Have a very open mind when it comes to the delivery all 3 of mine have been completely different. Dont rule anything out as duri g labour you think very differently. I wish someone had told me that you can pass quite a huge clot of blood afterwards when at the toilet and it can be completely normal (best to get any huge clots checked though). I literally stood up after having a wee ( which stings and I wish I had been told that as well) went to pull my knickers up and I passed this huge clot- so big that it dropped into my knickers, pulled tbem out of my hand and onto the floor, I started screaming and tbe midwife camd running in with a sick bowl in her hand and took it away - she knew what it was I was screaming for!
I wish I had of known how tired I'd be not long after the birth - was falling asleep in tbe bath.
It is scary when going to the toilet for the first time afterwards and another good trick which my midwife told me was to hold a sanitary towel gently against the bit of skin between your front and back if you are really constipated and it relieves the pressure on the "bruised parts" which helps.

2. Dont be frightened to say no to visitors if you are all too tired. Everyone and their granny - even complete strangers will try to tell you how to do things which I found a bit overwhelming so in the end I just smiled said thanks and did things my own way. The time after the ba y is born literally flies by so enjoy every moment because before you know it they are a week old, mongh old etc and you wonder where that time went so fast.

3. I'd relax a bit more the next time round listen to my own Instincts more, try breast feeding again (breast fed my first son but bottle fed my other two) but not to worry as much about it and not feel for ed to keep tryi g by the midwives or health visitors if I decide to stop. Remember to have quality time with your husband/ partner as well because that can very easily get overlooked as your thrown into baby duties. This ne t ti.e I would also change the hospital I give birth in as I did not like tbe last one at all.

 

[Frenzy]

What do you wish you'd known about the birth (try not to scare us!)?

How long and tough a recovery from a c-section actually is.

What do you wish you'd known in the first few weeks of being a mum?

I wish I'd known to buy only babygros for the first few months and save the outfits for when she was older. Babies are so much hard work that you don't have time to dress them in special outfits much and they are so much easier to handle in babygros. Eve had tonnes of outfits she never even wore. Also I wish I'd known to take it easier after my c-section. I ended up with 2 infections after and in a lot of pain from overdoing it trying to lift heavy things. I also wish I knew how sleep deprived I'd actually be the first few weeks from breastfeeding. Baby is on the breast non-stop in the beginning and during any growth spurts.

Is there anything you will be doing differently this time?

If I have another I would probably either breastfeed + bottle feed or breastfeed and pump to bottle feed. The reason for this is my now almost 4 month old will now not take a bottle so I'm stuck breastfeeding until she can drink from a cup basically. Breastfeeding is tough but I do love it. It is an amazing bond and quite convenient to just pop a boob in her mouth rather than making up bottles/sterilising. Having the option to give her a bottle sometimes would be nice though.

I would buy only babygros til 3-6 months.

Oh and no automatically using wipes and putting cream on a babies bum and using baby bathing products. I think that may have worsened a bad nappy rash she had. I would start with cotton wool and water and only use that til at least 3 months.

 

[SpinSugar]

What I wish I'd known about the birth....
It can be long. But it's not that bad. 50h. 2.5h pushing. No gas and air for the last 6h. But it's not that bad! !! The right antenatal classes are the key. Learn how to breathe. Get in the zone. Oh. And you loose all dignity haha.

I wish I'd known about tongue tie. And i wish I'd said no to visitors. And i wish I'd known that the myth that all babies do is eat poo and sleep is rubbish. My baby slept about 8 h in 24. Very broken. 12h solid regularly without sleep. And screamed. Constantly! ! But despite seeing all the other calm quiet babies, my screamy monster was just normal

This time I won't put so much pressure on myself. I'm going to do as much skin to skin as possible to really bond. I'm going to try and Co sleep. I'm not going to get PND. And this time - i'm going to love every sleep deprived emotionally charged moment xxxx

 

[cers123]

What do you wish you'd known about the birth (try not to scare us!)?

Things wont always go to plan. I had planned a natural birth and ended up having to be started and which then ended in an emergency section.
Also when ur waters break they dont stop coming until ur baby Is born lol


What do you wish you'd known in the first few weeks of being a mum?

the bleeding after you have a baby can be quite scary I blead heavy and had awful awful clots.. sorry tmi. Also I tried to be super mum and do everyhing myself and wish I had of gotten more help. I was also very emotional which I tried to ignore.

Is there anything you will be doing differently this time?***
Ask for more help
not be too hard on myself
relax and sleep when I can becos I need it
dont get too stressed out if the baby wont breastfeed. My lo did for 3 days and stopped and I was in pieces x

 

[Durhamchance]

Also when ur waters break they dont stop coming until ur baby Is born lol

This! I was sat on the toilet at the hospital laughing that I couldn't get off because they(my waters) were still coming

 

[mummyofdragons]

Also when ur waters break they dont stop coming until ur baby Is born lol

This! I was sat on the toilet at the hospital laughing that I couldn't get off because they(my waters) were still coming

I know wasn't even allowed to go the loo cos I was attached to the drip and heart monitor etc. I had to go in a bed pan on a.chair in the delivery room!

There is no dignity in giving birth! That's what I learned!

I wish someone had told me no matter how s*** the early days are it isn't like that forever!

This time around I'm being kinder to myself, not trying to be perfect all the time, and accepting help when offered. I'm also not trying to do so much after my section!

 

[Fospetil]

What I wish I'd have known about birth?

It's amazing! Some of it bloody hurts and I didn't want touching/massaging like I thought I would! But when I was in the pool pushing it was an amazing feeling! Woman's body is a brilliant thing!

What I wish I'd have known in the first few weeks?

You get after pains that feel like your having contractions for ages! No one warns you about those bad boys that are a lovely reminder of what you've just been through! Your first poo will scare you! Not because it hurts but the action of pushing again makes you feel like you may push your vagina out! You will have a baby attached to your boob ALOT! Breastfeeding is amazing but at first your baby will feel like a leech attached to your boob! Babies DO NOT like to sleep anywhere other than you! Embrace it! Keep your baby on you as much as possible, they need sleep so trying to put then down and them constantly waking will just make them grumpy! You can't spoil a baby!

What would I do differently?

I would wait until I have them to buy all their stuff! I have mountains of stuff that had been bought for us that she is just not interested in! You only work out what works for you when they are here! I would use my sling sooner, it's a life saver when you need to put some washing on but your newborn won't be put down anywhere! I wouldn't buy as many clothes! There is no need for all the different outfits they get! But a lot of them are gifts so I tried to put her in as many as I could before she outgrew them!

 

[Lyllian]

Quick thanks to you all who have added their thoughts so far, this thread is so helpful (and eye opening!!! lol)

 

[Jojo84]

About birth

That I'd have so many people looking at my bits lol - I had dictors, midwives, more midwives, consultants and students (do please let students hsve an Imput! They need yo lesrn so they can help others) but you don't care because you hsve bigger fish to fry. Akso I wish someone woukdve hold me how awesome gas and air is but it also makes you say silly things because you feel drunk off your face lol.


First few weeks
That i'd bleed for three weeks solid. That some babies loathe Moses baskets, like a LOT! That breast feeding doesn't work for everyone and there's no shame in formula feeding... I expressed fir 6 weeks and it was just too much. Thst wraparound vests are a waste of time and that they sometimes cry and there's nothing you can do but comfort them - sometimes they're not hungry or tired or wet or in pain - sometimes they just want a hug.
Hubby said he wishes people had told him how irritating it can be when you can't help them - you're tired and the crying is irritating not in a bad way exactly just more stressful (I didn't feel this way but he did)

Do differently
I wouldn't buy a Moses basket or so many blankets. I would've bought sleeping bags instead. I wouldn't have bought a carrier as we have only used it a few times and I wouldn't have bought a Highchair that goes over the head as our boy is tall and we had to replace it already (he's 6 months)
Oh and shoes are cute but pointless... Just buy socks.

Advice is oukd give others is just go with the flow- don't get obsessed about what this book says or that books says - use your own instinct and you'll be fine, don't stress, don't over thinks, don't worry too much. And take pictures and actually print them out. And don't worry if yiu haven't hoovered for a few days or your dishes pile up - you'll get round to it and nobody really cares.

 

[mummyofdragons]

Oh god yes the world and his wife will have their hands up your bits!

I rather stupidily thought I could through nine months and birth without any one having to go up there!

 

[nds]

brilliant thread

x

 

[SpinSugar]

The one thing to take from this thread?

I can't believe how different every birth and every baby is! Some absolute polar opposites here
Shows you can't ever really prepare!

 

[Durhamchance]

I wish I'd known that even after a section, that first poo is like giving birth! My MW told me it's because they move your bowel out of the way during the section, and that first poo has to move everything back I was screaming for G&A!

 

[mummyofdragons]

I wish I'd known that even after a section, that first poo is like giving birth! My MW told me it's because they move your bowel out of the way during the section, and that first poo has to move everything back I was screaming for G&A!

I was on iron tablets as well after mine. Going for a poo was not pleasant for the first few months!

 

[cers123]

Also when ur waters break they dont stop coming until ur baby Is born lol

This! I was sat on the toilet at the hospital laughing that I couldn't get off because they(my waters) were still coming

hahaha i remember just before my labour my friend telling me that i was like what the hell do u mean they dont stop... she was all you will see lol

 

[Jojo84]

My poo was fine! Just really loose and stuff but totally fine - not pleasant but not awful. I had a section.

Oh actually I wish someone woukdve told me that babies breathe really weird at first! Freaked me out.