Midwife appointment

[charlene09]

I went to see the Midwife this morning just as a general check up thing, but at the time when she shouted me my OH was outside having a cig.

Anyway I went in without him and she said to me " i want to talk to you in private" so she started saying "i've been speaking to the midwife from the hospital and she tells me that you have said to her that your OH abuses you. Does he abuse you physically,mentally or sexually?".
Wtf I haven't even said that.. I come out absoulutley fuming, and to top that off whilst we was in there she listened to babies heartbeat without OH being there, Is it me or do NHS midwifes seem to take the piss!!.

Might ask for a new midwife , cant cope with her shes making my pregnancy a misery

 

[Leanne and Andy]

OMFG!!! (((hugs))) xxxx Get a new midwife hunnie or make sum enquiries xx

 

[serenitylove]

it is general practise to ask if your being abused because domestic violence increases dramitically in pregnancy she may have got wrong end of stick from hosp midwife

 

[charlene09]

i am getting a new midwife x

 

[isobel84]

its good tho that they do double check as it do happend but i understand it feels like your OH was accused for no reason wich is also not nice. but better be safe then sorry.
My midwife was asking me about scars i got on my arms due to selfharm ages ago, she also asked about if i had been abused and so on. Its not nice when you sit there but i do understand why she had to ask.
to many poor innocent babys get born in to violence.

 

[MrsR]

At my booking in appt I was asked about abuse and my me explained it's a question they have to ask x if I'm reading your post right it doesn't sound as if your midwife was being horrible or jumping to conclusions-rather that she was following up in information she'd been passed by someone else, so not really her fault. Did you ask her to wait for your OH before listening to hb?

 

[kellylou]

how shocking! glad you got a new one x

 

[xxbeckyxx]

Could have all been a misunderstanding, but it's good you've got a new mw, hope you feel happier with new one

 

[JJ Mum]

Does it really rise up alot in pregnancy ? I had never heard this, thats awful

charlene, she so got the wrong end of the stick, ask her about it, to see what she says, and if the response is not great I would perhaps ask to change her if possible , best to try to keep on good terms, as you may not end up having your own one later on , (I don't know how it works with comunity midwifes if you go into labour when yours is off work).

 

[beth1234]

When i had my booking in appt, my boyfriend at the time went outside to answer his phone and she asked me then, i said we have arguments and stuff then she slapped a massive DOMESTIC VOILENCE HELPLINE sticker on the back of my notes! I thought bloody hell, if he did beat me up imagine what he'd do if he saw that!

I do think its standerd procedure however. but you should follow up who actually said that to her!! xx

 

[isobel84]

i got one of them folder things about it aswell, she said to me that many girls wouldnt admit it going on so they give it to everyone.
But as i did say, rather be safe then sorry, maybe that folder or that question have helped a few girls and there little babies and even if it only helped one, its all worth it!

 

[Momma`Kat]

My Family Nurse asked me about abuse. I threw her a curve ball and said, Father of the baby isnt abusive atall, But the guy I was seeing for a year before him, who is no longer in the country, its mentally abusive toward me still, Wanna fix that one? She said no and left the conversation at that.

 

[serenitylove]

Does it really rise up alot in pregnancy ? I had never heard this, thats awful

charlene, she so got the wrong end of the stick, ask her about it, to see what she says, and if the response is not great I would perhaps ask to change her if possible , best to try to keep on good terms, as you may not end up having your own one later on , (I don't know how it works with comunity midwifes if you go into labour when yours is off work).

yes it rises by at least 25%

 

[isobel84]

my ex used to hit me and i know if i was pregnant with him and he still hit me, i would be too ashamed to tell anyone. alot of ppl seems like they take it personally that they ask, dont.

 

[Momma`Kat]

Exactly isobel, They have to give the oppertunity for you to speak up. I know that when I was with the other guy, I wouldnt, and didnt say anything. But some can, and those that do, get the help they need.

 

[charlene09]

He dosent abuse me though not atall, we have our arguments and things but he has never ever in the whole 2 years we have been together laid a finger on me in an abusive way.
I think that being pregnant you take things more personally than you would have before, but she did say at the end "he dosent look like the type" so its all goood!