Wilson, I am so very very sorry. I can't imagine the pain you're feeling. Please look after yourself and I really hope you and your husband can navigate a way through this pain and come out together at the other end, with a new future ahead of you both, whatever that may be. Xxx
Thanks for your message, I can't see a way through this, I hate him for this and his attitude towards me over it. xx
This was my worry right back after your first posts. Dan and I have always been on the same page and would try anything so if it never happened, I would never harbour resentment. This whole ttc journey has affirmed just how important it is to me to have a child to the point that if Dan was the thing getting in my way by refusing to be open to alternative ideas, I'm not sure I could get over it. I think I'd rather be single and use a donor than be with someone who could write off the possibility of something so very important to me. That's me...not you, but in these situations, everyone is always afraid to say the hard things and ask the hard questions but actually, they are the important things to think about.
So, as hard as it is and as unpopular as this may make me...time and life experience has taught me we cannot bury our heads in the sand. If there's a chance you will continue to resent your husband, but deny that fat now, you may end up not being able to stay with him many years down the line. It happens all the time so is not far fetched to think about. If that's after your menopause, you will have lost your husband and your chance at children. If you face up to thinking about your future now, you may still have the chance to be the mum you so want to be. I am born on any way saying you should leave your husband, I am simply saying that we don't have a never ending window if fertility and it is important that you think ling and hard about how you see and want to see your future.
It may be that you are angry now, but that anger will pass as your live for him is more important than your desire for children. If that's the case, bloody good on you, a marriage is something that we go into for life and It would be wonderful if you could let go of any anger and resentment and move forward. None if us can say if that is possible, only you can.
I'm pushing 40 now and so have many friends who have been in similar situations and what I can say is that the only ones that have regret are those who have gave up on the wish for children when the reason was their husbands refusing to continue trying. Two have not had children but tried everything and have wonderful childless marriages. Four split up, three of whom went on to have children with other people (one via sperm donor) and have no regrets and one who never had children but has no regrets as she had no blame. With her husband, she blamed him so the marriage couldn't work.
None of these are related to you, but are examples of futures that are possible for you.
When Dans sister was diagnosed with a terminal brain tumour, the whole family refused to discuss the important issues. We needed to know her wishes for palliative care, did she want to be at home and cared for by family at the end or in a hospice. If she ever decided to stop treatment in favour of quality of life, did the family understand and be ready to support. So many difficult questions and they all refused to acknowledge the need to discuss them. I am from a family beset with death since I was 14. I know only too well the consequences of not facing up to the harsh realities of life. Not facing reality kills relationships and any chance at happiness. I ended up sitting the family down and pretty much forcing them to talk because as I told them, the alternative would mean Rachel's wishes may not be met and disagreements would be likely, adding to stress at the worst time of their life. We discussed it all, we all knew her wishes and all found an understanding and moved forward with so much more peace. All of the unanswered, most of the unknown was no longer unknown and that knowledge have them all the freedom to just embrace their time. Rachel is still with us by the way, 4 years after she should have died.
So...this is a long post, probably rambling and many may disagree that I'm bringing this up but I do so because the worst I can imagine for you Wilson is that you deny your real feelings, can't get past the hate, but by the time you realise that, you're too old to have the children that you want.
That obviously may not happen as that may not be how you feel, but not thinking about it leaves you open to that regret. Life is fucking hard sometimes, but we are in control of our own decisions and choices.
I only want you you have the future YOU really want. If that is with your husband without children of your own...that is a beautiful thing and many women can and do move past the desire to have children and never regret. I am sure your husband wouldn't want to lose you or you him. If the future is without your husband, giving you new opportunities, then that would be equally exciting for you.
Just process, take time for yourself, look after yourself and figure out the future that you can live with going forward. You have all the support here that you need, whatever that future looks like, just focus on you.
Huge hugs hugs and I'm sorry if this has seemed a bit blunt, but regrets are hard to overcome but easily avoided by spending some time facing up to thinking about what matters most to us. Xxx
im so so sorry, big hugs! Surely they have some other options than IVF, that seems so abrupt and unhelpful? You might have to go privately but I'm not as clued up as some of the other ladies on all the different things they can do to improve male fertility but I really hope you and your husband are doing okay (as well as you can considering) 
