Long termers 6 months or more

[katie88]

IVW I agree completely!

 

[SugaryIris]

Oh ladies!

I feel for every one of you. I honestly don’t know how I would cope without this forum and seeing how I’m not the only one feeling like this.

I feel almost numb 90% of the time because it’s just not happening and I can feel time running away from me!

Chin up though ladies, you are some of the strongest woman I know and I have such admiration for you all x

 

[Maximus17]

hi I also belong in this thread, nearly a year of TTC , got pregnant but miscarried recently so this was the first AF after miscarriage, I ovulated already and I am in the waiting game now, but I doubt it will happen very quick as it took 11 cycles last time. I read some of your posts and it's really heartbreaking, I totally understand it. When I got my bfp after 11 cycles it was unreal , I was over the moon and now I think it's never going to happen

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

Welcome maximus and Lyn we certainly have ours ups and downs on this thread and reality at the minute seems to be more downs for most of us!

I am just over halfway through 2ww 9dpo today. I did poas yesterday for the sake of it....of course BFN. So just feel like I'm waiting for AF now as soon as she arrives got to call for my HSG appt. So I guess just kinda hoping it gets on with it and comes on time so we can take the next step forward. Just feeling exhausted by the whole thing and starting to understand how some couple just accept infertility and move on with their lives. It is such a rollercoaster and how many years do u lose to these emotions x

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

Well without a shadow of a doubt AF must be due in a few days cos I just cried watching wanted down under. FML. Lmfao. I frigging hate hormones!

 

[KatD]

Will you believe if I tell you that this is the THIRD post I am attempting to share with you guys?

Ok...let's try again

Been having the most horrible mood swings since O. It's really not like me at all to be in a bad mood, but this is beyond a bad mood. This is me losing my sh!t every second and feeling like I could explode into a ball of flames...for no apparent reason at all

Apart from that I had these shooting pains from my groin down my legs last night which lasted for an hour. It was so uncomfortable. Dull uterine cramps for a few days now which I hope is not some kind of infection and my boobs burn...like...just underneath the skin...I don't know how to describe this. It's like my hormones are just really narf at the moment, playing all kinds of tricks on me.

To think, a year ago I would have been convinced that I was pregnant....now, well, let's just say the proof is in the pudding. I'll believe it when I see that bfp.

My friend had her second son Yesterday and shared some pics of her baby with me this morning. The other friend is 10weeks along and sent a scan pic...so tiny that little one. I feel numb when it comes to the pain of not having my own, but I do love when they share their joy with me. Am I mad? Is it even normal to want others to share with me what I can't have for myself?

Maybe not mad...maybe a tad bit pathetic ...

 

[SugaryIris]

Ha Kat! I have tried to reply a few times as well!

I know what you mean about symptom spotting, every month my cycle is completely different to every month that has gone before, in length and symptoms so I’ve given up trying to find any rhyme or reason for them now. I do hope that yours are a good sign, they certainly do sound hopeful.

As for the Baby announcements, I’m really struggling. A lad, who is a member of my staff announced him and his new wife (4 months ago) are expecting. This means they fell quickly and I almost instantly left the room to cry. These emotions sure are exhausting! X

 

[Maximus17]

So sad isn’t it especially when you know af is coming and for whatever reason it hasn’t worked again. I am 4dpo but I am sure it’s a bfn as if I was going to get bfp I would have lots of cm by 4/5 dpo and I am very dry this cycle

 

[Alexis2017]

Cd28 at hasnt showed up....yet. I feel so moody and sore and indigestion which is new for me but I know the witch will show up for my birthday on Saturday. Going away fri Sat with hubby and dog for a wee Scottish isle get away and to drown my sorrows to move on to cycle 21 ...almost at the 2 year mark of officially trying ...how did we get here ?

 

[Sugarpop]

Hi people!

I think I posted in this thread many moons ago but as there are so many pages I'm not even going to attempt to catch up ha! It will take me forever!! That's the problem when you've been on this forum for so many years!

Not sure where everyone is up to but I'm CD34. I had some random (and I mean really random) pink spotting last Thursday. Completely out of character as my AF barely ever starts as pink or red. I always get a lead up so I'm still in limbo. Anyone else in limbo? It's a hell place to be!

Im either waiting for a BFP or a BFN so I can start my upped dose off letrozole (not that there is any point in this of course).

 

[Sugarpop]

Cd28 at hasnt showed up....yet. I feel so moody and sore and indigestion which is new for me but I know the witch will show up for my birthday on Saturday. Going away fri Sat with hubby and dog for a wee Scottish isle get away and to drown my sorrows to move on to cycle 21 ...almost at the 2 year mark of officially trying ...how did we get here ?

I'm going to Scotland on Saturday for a week! Will be my first time

 

[Alexis2017]

Cd28 at hasnt showed up....yet. I feel so moody and sore and indigestion which is new for me but I know the witch will show up for my birthday on Saturday. Going away fri Sat with hubby and dog for a wee Scottish isle get away and to drown my sorrows to move on to cycle 21 ...almost at the 2 year mark of officially trying ...how did we get here ?

I'm going to Scotland on Saturday for a week! Will be my first time

Aww it's been raining past few days now. Where abouts you going ? It is beautiful even in the rain.

I am having a really low day. Pale brown cm appeared about 4pm today on cd29. I stupidly let myself daydream about being pregnant the past 24 hrs. I cried all the way home from work. I literally can't deal with this anymore ...I feel so weak. Why is this happening ? What did I do wrong? My cycle is regular, I am ovulating and I've no cyct s and a normal linning
Hubbys swimmers are above average ... . Whyyyyy I am so so so so done

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

@Alexis I'm with you today. AF arrived today a couple days early while I was at work. I just wanted to crawl under a brick and sob. Instead I had to smile sweetly and continue serving customers.

I just want this never ending circle of distress to end. I don't even believe it can be happy now...Instead of visualising being pregnant I now visualise that if i ever get pregnant I will miscarry. I don't see how it can go from not working to suddenly all being totally fine. I just can't see that in my minds eye x

 

[Alexis2017]

@Alexis I'm with you today. AF arrived today a couple days early while I was at work. I just wanted to crawl under a brick and sob. Instead I had to smile sweetly and continue serving customers.

I just want this never ending circle of distress to end. I don't even believe it can be happy now...Instead of visualising being pregnant I now visualise that if i ever get pregnant I will miscarry. I don't see how it can go from not working to suddenly all being totally fine. I just can't see that in my minds eye x

Sorry Nikki...I hate that witch..the whole experience is not nice at all..if I EVER gt pregnant I would be so worried too...like you say how can I ovulate and have a regular cycle and never once catch 1 wee egg even in cycles we chatted down every detail and covered like 7 days in a row....all those months and opk tests and temp charts ....all the supplements I bought and tried...when I look back at everything he have been through and still nothing. I'm starting to believe I am made of plastic fake stuff on inside...there are no eggs there...only possible reason is I am actually messed up inside ...something is missing

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

@Alexis I'm with you today. AF arrived today a couple days early while I was at work. I just wanted to crawl under a brick and sob. Instead I had to smile sweetly and continue serving customers.

I just want this never ending circle of distress to end. I don't even believe it can be happy now...Instead of visualising being pregnant I now visualise that if i ever get pregnant I will miscarry. I don't see how it can go from not working to suddenly all being totally fine. I just can't see that in my minds eye x

Sorry Nikki...I hate that witch..the whole experience is not nice at all..if I EVER gt pregnant I would be so worried too...like you say how can I ovulate and have a regular cycle and never once catch 1 wee egg even in cycles we chatted down every detail and covered like 7 days in a row....all those months and opk tests and temp charts ....all the supplements I bought and tried...when I look back at everything he have been through and still nothing. I'm starting to believe I am made of plastic fake stuff on inside...there are no eggs there...only possible reason is I am actually messed up inside ...something is missing

It's so tough not to blame yourself I think cos no matter how you dress it up and say it's 50 50 and my hubby says we in thus together I still feel responsible because it feels like it is my body that is letting us down x

 

[Sugarpop]

@Alexis I'm with you today. AF arrived today a couple days early while I was at work. I just wanted to crawl under a brick and sob. Instead I had to smile sweetly and continue serving customers.

I just want this never ending circle of distress to end. I don't even believe it can be happy now...Instead of visualising being pregnant I now visualise that if i ever get pregnant I will miscarry. I don't see how it can go from not working to suddenly all being totally fine. I just can't see that in my minds eye x

Sorry Nikki...I hate that witch..the whole experience is not nice at all..if I EVER gt pregnant I would be so worried too...like you say how can I ovulate and have a regular cycle and never once catch 1 wee egg even in cycles we chatted down every detail and covered like 7 days in a row....all those months and opk tests and temp charts ....all the supplements I bought and tried...when I look back at everything he have been through and still nothing. I'm starting to believe I am made of plastic fake stuff on inside...there are no eggs there...only possible reason is I am actually messed up inside ...something is missing

It's so tough not to blame yourself I think cos no matter how you dress it up and say it's 50 50 and my hubby says we in thus together I still feel responsible because it feels like it is my body that is letting us down x

I’m right there with you! It is really hard. My hunby’s Swimmers are amazing by all accounts. Just me letting the side down then! I know that I don’t ovulate every month BUT I know that I do ovulate, just not regularly. I can never get my head around why I’ve never been properly pregnant before when there’s very few days where there aren’t any swimmers waiting.

 

[Sugarpop]

Cd28 at hasnt showed up....yet. I feel so moody and sore and indigestion which is new for me but I know the witch will show up for my birthday on Saturday. Going away fri Sat with hubby and dog for a wee Scottish isle get away and to drown my sorrows to move on to cycle 21 ...almost at the 2 year mark of officially trying ...how did we get here ?

I'm going to Scotland on Saturday for a week! Will be my first time

Aww it's been raining past few days now. Where abouts you going ? It is beautiful even in the rain.

I am having a really low day. Pale brown cm appeared about 4pm today on cd29. I stupidly let myself daydream about being pregnant the past 24 hrs. I cried all the way home from work. I literally can't deal with this anymore ...I feel so weak. Why is this happening ? What did I do wrong? My cycle is regular, I am ovulating and I've no cyct s and a normal linning
Hubbys swimmers are above average ... . Whyyyyy I am so so so so done

Not entirely sure where we are going but the camp where the lodge is is called Park Royals I think. Not the best with geography ha

 

[Peony1]

Cd28 at hasnt showed up....yet. I feel so moody and sore and indigestion which is new for me but I know the witch will show up for my birthday on Saturday. Going away fri Sat with hubby and dog for a wee Scottish isle get away and to drown my sorrows to move on to cycle 21 ...almost at the 2 year mark of officially trying ...how did we get here ?

I'm going to Scotland on Saturday for a week! Will be my first time

Aww it's been raining past few days now. Where abouts you going ? It is beautiful even in the rain.

I am having a really low day. Pale brown cm appeared about 4pm today on cd29. I stupidly let myself daydream about being pregnant the past 24 hrs. I cried all the way home from work. I literally can't deal with this anymore ...I feel so weak. Why is this happening ? What did I do wrong? My cycle is regular, I am ovulating and I've no cyct s and a normal linning
Hubbys swimmers are above average ... . Whyyyyy I am so so so so done

I could have written this!! I have regular cycles ranging from 26-29 days, I’m ovulating, all tests have come back normal AND my husband was told his were above average too!! it’s so frustrating isn’t it! And the last period I had, I hadn’t had any spotting beforehand which I usually do, so I’d let myself dream that I could be pregnant. I cried for pretty much two days straight! Thankfully it was the weekend. It’s so hard picking yourself up constantly and also just having to try at everything! Not only dtd, but eating well, exercising, not stressing out! I’m so fed up of it all. I’m really trying hard this month not to get any hopes up at all! It only makes af coming that much harder to deal with. Also, I don’t even seem to come close to getting a pregnancy if you know what I mean! Apart from one time last November where I had a very very very faint line (could have been seeing things and it was at the 10 min mark!), I had spotting from cycle day 26 up until cycle day 34 when I came on. It may have been a chemical or it may have just been my body being cruel to me! Either way, my only hope of seeing two lines is on an opk.

Started telling more people now that we’re struggling and it’s so far not been too bad. I’m careful on who I tell but they’ve asked me outright about babies, so rather than hide it, I’ve said we’ve been trying for nearly 2 years. Kinda a weight lifted off my shoulders by being honest about it. But then again, some people who I know will say something inappropriate are not gonna be told

 

[Peony1]

@Alexis I'm with you today. AF arrived today a couple days early while I was at work. I just wanted to crawl under a brick and sob. Instead I had to smile sweetly and continue serving customers.

I just want this never ending circle of distress to end. I don't even believe it can be happy now...Instead of visualising being pregnant I now visualise that if i ever get pregnant I will miscarry. I don't see how it can go from not working to suddenly all being totally fine. I just can't see that in my minds eye x

Sorry Nikki...I hate that witch..the whole experience is not nice at all..if I EVER gt pregnant I would be so worried too...like you say how can I ovulate and have a regular cycle and never once catch 1 wee egg even in cycles we chatted down every detail and covered like 7 days in a row....all those months and opk tests and temp charts ....all the supplements I bought and tried...when I look back at everything he have been through and still nothing. I'm starting to believe I am made of plastic fake stuff on inside...there are no eggs there...only possible reason is I am actually messed up inside ...something is missing

It's so tough not to blame yourself I think cos no matter how you dress it up and say it's 50 50 and my hubby says we in thus together I still feel responsible because it feels like it is my body that is letting us down x

Same here! I just think if his swimmers are ‘above average’ then it’s gotta be me! I stress and worry too much about everything (it’s in my nature!), I probably don’t exercise as much as I should, i probably don’t eat as well as I should. I said the other night to him ‘how can it not be my fault?’ And as much as he is supportive (he really is!) and I know he’s always gutted that it doesn’t happen, I do think it’s a different experience for women, because we’re feeling so called pregnancy symptoms which were actually just period symptoms and we’ve got hormones making us go crazy as well as being devastated that af has arrived. I think about being pregnant/ not being pregnant most of the time, whereas I think he can switch off from it.

 

[Alexis2017]

@Alexis I'm with you today. AF arrived today a couple days early while I was at work. I just wanted to crawl under a brick and sob. Instead I had to smile sweetly and continue serving customers.

I just want this never ending circle of distress to end. I don't even believe it can be happy now...Instead of visualising being pregnant I now visualise that if i ever get pregnant I will miscarry. I don't see how it can go from not working to suddenly all being totally fine. I just can't see that in my minds eye x

Sorry Nikki...I hate that witch..the whole experience is not nice at all..if I EVER gt pregnant I would be so worried too...like you say how can I ovulate and have a regular cycle and never once catch 1 wee egg even in cycles we chatted down every detail and covered like 7 days in a row....all those months and opk tests and temp charts ....all the supplements I bought and tried...when I look back at everything he have been through and still nothing. I'm starting to believe I am made of plastic fake stuff on inside...there are no eggs there...only possible reason is I am actually messed up inside ...something is missing

It's so tough not to blame yourself I think cos no matter how you dress it up and say it's 50 50 and my hubby says we in thus together I still feel responsible because it feels like it is my body that is letting us down x

Same here! I just think if his swimmers are ‘above average’ then it’s gotta be me! I stress and worry too much about everything (it’s in my nature!), I probably don’t exercise as much as I should, i probably don’t eat as well as I should. I said the other night to him ‘how can it not be my fault?’ And as much as he is supportive (he really is!) and I know he’s always gutted that it doesn’t happen, I do think it’s a different experience for women, because we’re feeling so called pregnancy symptoms which were actually just period symptoms and we’ve got hormones making us go crazy as well as being devastated that af has arrived. I think about being pregnant/ not being pregnant most of the time, whereas I think he can switch off from it.

Exactly we have a content reminder along with the hormones adding to the emotions. I mean when your on your monthly every day your reminded if the failed pregnancy when you see blood. The hsg showed I had clear tubes...and the internal scan showed no cysts and a good linning. It actually showed that I was about to ovulate. My progesterone was 45 which is good and his swimmers are above average...

I'm having a really bad day. Meant to go to a pub quiz with friends and I couldn't leave the house as my anxiety is so bad now. I worry and stress too but didn't before all of this became a thing