Long termers 6 months or more

[MoominGirl]

Hey everyone, we have our IVF appt on Wednesday to go on the waiting list at last. We took a break this montj from ttc. I am cd#17 or something so just another 10 days or so to go until the 19th cycle starts thrn we have 6 more cycles to try before IVF. I still feel sad...the pregnancy announcements are still coming thick and fast so just feels so lonely and isolating when I feel like I am the only person I know suffering infertility. If it is 1 in 7...I've never met anyone in my friends or friends of friends or work or family or just anyone.

Good luck with your appointment. I hope it goes well for you.

I was very private about our struggles as you know but since I've been more open about them, I've been truly shocked by how many people have admitted their own struggles. It really does affect so many more people than you think and everyone just suffers in silence, feeling isolated and alone. I would never have believed it at the time. It's a vicious cycle as all these couples are craving the same support and just want to feel they're not alone.

One thing that spoke volumes to me though. When we were at a stage where I just wanted to did a bit deeper into our options, I went to the Fertility Show in London. OH offered to come but I said I'd go alone as it just didn't seem worth double the expense. I remember feeling really nervous as I was going up in the lift like the doors would open and I'd be the only one that turned up! When the doors opened, it was absolutely heaving!! Yes there were pros and cons to the day but that alone made it worth it. I really felt like we weren't the only ones any more.

Also Izzy Judd's Dare to Dream is well worth reading if you haven't already. She has also released a collection of stories from others who have contacted her since then. That one is a free ebook.

 

[Peony1]

@nikkibiscuit so sorry, you must be feeling so frustrated.
My husband thinks he only had to wait a week for his results, but it was definitely no longer than two weeks. Although they did just tell him basics - as in ‘yeah the results are fine’. It wasn’t until we saw the fertility doctor that the results were explained to us properly.

@moomingirl I think I would tell more people, but my husband isn’t keen to. I only want to tell close family but I can see his reasons for not wanting to. I have told my parents and am so glad I did. Trouble is, most of my friends and work colleagues have all told me at some point how they fell pregnant straight away or fell by accident so I know none of them would understand. Also, some of them already give me unwanted advice at the moment and that’s without me telling them that we’re ttc. Thanks so much for telling us about the book - I’d heard about her struggles ttc but didn’t know she’d written a book, so I’ll have a look at that
You’re right though, as much as you don’t want anyone else to go through this, it does help to know you’re not alone x

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

@moomin @peony thanks ladies fingers crossed he gets them back within the 2 weeks then. I was surprised when letter came through and he has to do sample at home within the hour before slot and essentially just drop it off. So can't see how they can justify it taking very long as they must have to look at them basically straight away.

My appt is 4th July so hopefully by then we will know more. Hubby not keen on telling people either but I've set a deadline in my head of Xmas. If it hasn't happened for us by then I want to tell our parents. As that will be 18 months of officially trying and 22 months off contraception x

 

[MoominGirl]

They do process them right away which is why there's such a strict deadline. My OH didn't get a specific appointment time - it was more like bring it whenever but it had to be within the hour. Most of the time the slow part is labs communicating with GPs and then the GP actually taking the time to look at the results. I work in a hospital and our patients are always so shocked when we can have blood results within the hour!!

As far as telling people, you have to do what's right for your circumstances. I was the one who was always very private. Hubby basically said he was happy to go with what I wanted. Now that I know what I know now, I think I could have had much more support than I realised even though I'm still not sure if I would have be brave enough to open up. The few select family members I did tell were actually more of a hinder than a help if I'm honest as they had never been through it and just didn't understand. Of course that's just my experience. The unwanted 'advice' got so bad I actually had to say I can't talk about this any more so I was no better off.

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

Well hubbys sample successfully dropped off this morning so will see if that sheds any light. I hope all is ok I don't know how he would cope if it wasn't.

CD37 and still NO AF oh the joys. Day off with hubby today though so maybe a little light sexy time might encourage her to show her ugly face x

 

[Peony1]

I hope his results come back quickly and with no problems sorry you’re still waiting for AF (or something far better than af!) so frustrating when you’re in limbo!

I’ve had a day of my work colleague constantly talking about ‘when you’re pregnant’ and asking me about how I’ll treat my bump and giving me advice for when I am pregnant. I’m pretty sure she thinks I’m pregnant now for some reason. I have always been open about the fact I want children but I have never let on when I plan on ttc, so nobody at work knows and I certainly wouldn’t tell her. Not being pregnant is always on my mind but I find ways to distract myself - but then to have her constantly reminding me of it is so hard. One of the big reasons I want a new job bleurgh. It amazes me how rude and inappropriate some people are.

 

[Alexis2017]

So nervous about tmrw, joining the waiting list for IVF in Nov/Dec. Not sure what to expect tmrw bit I knew this day would always come.

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

So nervous about tmrw, joining the waiting list for IVF in Nov/Dec. Not sure what to expect tmrw bit I knew this day would always come.

Good luck for today Alexis. It is all steps in the right direction to holding your beautiful baby in your arms. Don't let that dream escape you. We are all right here for support x

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

CD#39 and still no show. Feel quite 'sealed' usually get that opening feeling and achey when she is gonna start but nada.

Out of interest what is everyone's longest cycles they have ever had? This is no my longest ever x

 

[Alexis2017]

CD#39 and still no show. Feel quite 'sealed' usually get that opening feeling and achey when she is gonna start but nada.

Out of interest what is everyone's longest cycles they have ever had? This is no my longest ever x

Have you done a test?? Hmmmm
I am just sitting in waiting room to go on ivf waitong list.

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

CD#39 and still no show. Feel quite 'sealed' usually get that opening feeling and achey when she is gonna start but nada.

Out of interest what is everyone's longest cycles they have ever had? This is no my longest ever x

Have you done a test?? Hmmmm
I am just sitting in waiting room to go on ivf waitong list.

Hooray!!! Get that name down Alexis...exciting times.

Yes have no will power for tests. I tested at 9dpo. Then again on AF due date then again on CD37 which was a week later. All BFN.

I'm now 2 days past my longest ever cycle. It a so bizarre hubby was too knackered to DTD yesterday after his cup date lol. Was trying to persuade him to see if that brought AF on. Lol. Will try again tonight tomorrow....dont really see the point in testing again unless some other symptom appears. Just wondering what the latest anyone has ever got a BFP? I know someone a while ago took until a good while overdue yo get a positive. But I'm not getting my hopes up. If anything I'm more convinced that my body us just giving up and bugging out x

 

[SugaryIris]

I know the feeling Nikki, I’m on cd42 but I’ve only ever had one cycle longer and that was 43 days. Every time I’ve had a cycle around 40 days I’ve had spotting for the week before. I think my cm is drying up though and I’ve had a few aches today and I’m really hungry so I’m in no doubt she is on her way. I took a test at cd 37 and that was negative. I’ll take one on cd44 if she isn’t here as we go on holiday that evening but I suspect she will be here before then.

I read somewhere that boys take a lot longer to give a bfp, whilst most definitely an old wives tale it’s a bit of hope so fingers crossed!!

 

[SugaryIris]

How did your appointment go Alexis? X

 

[Akua]

Today I’m in the kind of mood where I just want to give up trying. Seems easier than the heartbreak.

Maybe that’s because I’ve spent the afternoon at a baby shower for someone who fell pregnant whilst taking the pill....

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

I know the feeling Nikki, I’m on cd42 but I’ve only ever had one cycle longer and that was 43 days. Every time I’ve had a cycle around 40 days I’ve had spotting for the week before. I think my cm is drying up though and I’ve had a few aches today and I’m really hungry so I’m in no doubt she is on her way. I took a test at cd 37 and that was negative. I’ll take one on cd44 if she isn’t here as we go on holiday that evening but I suspect she will be here before then.

I read somewhere that boys take a lot longer to give a bfp, whilst most definitely an old wives tale it’s a bit of hope so fingers crossed!!

Well I'll use you as my ballpark then sugaryiris which means I've got another 4 days to go! I haven't had so much of a tinted CM. Literally feel sealed up. I know that sounds weird but I usually start to feel open along with the cramps when AF is on her way.

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

Today I’m in the kind of mood where I just want to give up trying. Seems easier than the heartbreak.

Maybe that’s because I’ve spent the afternoon at a baby shower for someone who fell pregnant whilst taking the pill....

Ah it's just so difficult isn't it when it comes so easy to so and yet here we are banging our heads against a brick wall.

Can only send hugs your way and recommend maybe taking some time out for you? Xx

 

[Alexis2017]

How did your appointment go Alexis? X

Hi thanks for asking ! It was a lot less too it than expected. The doc asked if we had got pregnant yet...we said no then she said okay this is what IVF is...we will add you to the list which is 6 months long. Gave us some leaflets and told us to take vitamins...I rasied my eyes and said iain wasn't so doc tokd him he should take zinc and multi vit then away we went. So we just need to wait for the treatment which will be end of Nov /December. We will try 6 more cycles then IVF time. I am happy we have this option and excited for the future but also sad it has came to this and worried it doesn't work. I was reading the info leaflet and it says you take pessaries post Embryo transfer ...2 x a day? Ahh!

So I guess there nothing left to do that keep trying

 

[SugaryIris]

At least you seem more positive already! Things are moving in the right direction if nothing else. I hope this is the first step towards the end of your journey x

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

So pleased that you have some positive news alexis and can start to think forward who knows your body might even decide to beat the docs! Xx

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

Checked CM this morning straight after shower and loads of creamy white. CD40 now grrrrr. Sure you are all sick of me banging on sorry ladies x