Long termers 6 months or more

[_GG_]

I hope so too GG but there are ways to find a peace with life I think if you embrace it. I know my fur babies would help get my through. I hope we don't have to face that future as my hubby I think has his heart set on a family even more than me.

Hoping for us that talking it through with the docs will at least make us feel like we have put one foot on the ladder and are moving forwards. Financially pressure has eased a little too....we have got rid of car that was financed now that hubby has one through work. And so far so good with my friend sharing Flynn....she is hopefully doing her first ODE on him at Easter. I am getting so much pleasure out of seeing him being enjoyed by us both too. He s such a beautiful boy with a big heart. Excited for their season ahead.

All this is helping me think forward at the minute so hoping can keep hubby in that frame of mind too and keep his anxiety at bay. If we can have a couple months good run at clearing credit card I know he will feel much better for it x

Remember not having a biological child doesn't mean being childless! Just a case if personal choice. I think it's really healthy to get these options out in the open early on. If it's something you're open to, it really can take the pressure off.

But. You ladies won't need it...I have faith for you xx

 

[MoominGirl]

@moomin hope u had good chill weekend. We ve had Sunday dinner out today and nice lazy afternoon been lush. Plus back on DTD and today felt like first time in a while we're doing it for us rather than just to try and make a baby.

@Alexis hope ur getting some rest at last. And still managed to DTD when you wanted to so that you haven't missed out on any chances.

We had a good chat over dinner today. I'm wondering whether we should tell our parents that we are trying and seeing the docs as might make things easier in the long run if we continue to struggle. Hubby thinks we should still keep it between us but he literally hasn't even spoken to a mate about it but i suppose that's normal for most men.

I think maybe see what the doc says and maybe get a little further along the line. I suppose we don't yet know for def that there is a problem so maybe we should cross that bridge when we come to it x

I know I'm a bit late to the party on this one but thought I'd chip in anyway and share my experiences.

I've always been fiercely private about our situation. I'm a private person anyway but I feel even more protective about this. It's never at any point crossed OH's mind to share with his parents and that's fine with me. He's been quite clear that he has no intention of telling them but that's his choice and I would support him if that's something he felt he needed to do. My OH is similar to yours. He just doesn't have any desire to talk about it and wouldn't gain anything from doing so.

As for me, we both felt I would benefit from sharing a little more and he did nudge me into opening up to my mum. I agreed and he didn't push me. I think the only reason I talked myself round was because I had the surgery coming up and sort of felt obligated. In some ways, it helped to get things off my chest and felt good in the short term but in the long run, if I'd had my time again I wouldn't have. My mum is a worrier and despite my many requests for her not to probe, she continued to probe After numerous attempts, I think she's finally got the message that it helps me to know that she knows but I really don't want to talk about it with her on a regular basis and no, I'm not going to give detailed updates after every appointment!!

I think in short, only you know your parents and how much you want to open up about it. I think if you know that you want to open up and that you'll benefit from it then do but if you're only doing it cos you think you should then take a deep breath before you do. Once it's done it's done which sounds obvious but I'm not sure I really thought about it that way at the time.

Hope everything goes well at the doctors.

 

[MoominGirl]

One born....to watch or not to watch. I have always loved it and it has made me broody many a time over the years. I feel like it's a little painful now we are TTC and not having any luck. But weird still feel drawn to watch it and perhaps relate to some of the stories especially when couples have had trouble conciveing or a difficult journey.

Anyone else feel like This?

Before all this - yes I'd be happy to watch. Now - definitely not!! I can just hear OH now if I suggested I'd start watching. I know I just wouldn't cope. I'm miserable enough some days without adding fuel to the fire.

That's just me though.

 

[MoominGirl]

I used to watch it before my daughter but weirdly I can't cope with it this time around ttc. I saw online it was a suprise pregnancy on it so I was like nope not even going to turn it on lol. Been away from here as been struggling quite a lot since my miscarriage. We are going to have a break from ttc if we don't get a bfp this month I think. Or at least try and be more relaxed about it. Zxx

Sorry to hear you've been struggling. Sending lots of hugs your way. We are also taking a more relaxed approach on the run up to IVF. It has made things a lot less stressful when it could end up feeling like a 'countdown' or our 'last shot'.

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

@moomin thanks hun. I think I'm settled on keeping mouth shut for now. My mum knows family is on the agenda but a few reminders that we are trying to clear a bit of debt has kept her at bay for now I think. If we get further down the line and it turns out things will be really difficult like towards the end of this year maybe will reconsider.

Strangely I think his parents would be less likely to probe. Beucase he tells them very little and it's usually me filling in the blanks I think his mum would not want to pry. But I would never let her in on something my mum didn't know as don't think that is fair on my mum.

Trying not to wish the weekend away as back to work Monday but looming forward to getting docs over with as think it will hopefully set our mind at rest for now that we feel we are moving forwards. In the meantime I'm ov this weekend and with parents visiting it's not ideal...they are staying in a hotel but hubby never keen on the half hour snatched sex so I'm not feeling optimistic we gonna be giving it our best shot this month x

 

[MoominGirl]

Nikki, one of my closest friends gave up trying at 40. Numerous failed IVF rounds after 10 years of trying, she just got to a point playing with her godson that she thought she did have the opportunity to have children in her life, just not hers. She looked at all she wanted to do that a child would make difficult and decided to embrace that life and embrace all her friends children. She's already bought the cutest things for our baby to be and is my most supportive friend. She doesn't even have sad days anymore. She's found her role and realises she's actually really happy with it as she hasn't had to compromise her own life. I doubt there are many women out there who could do that, but for her, it works.

However, it's hopefully not something any of you ladies have to face. Xx

That's amazing she could do that. I don't think I could do that. Being around my friends kids at the moment only reminds me what I want and don't have. I always feel sad when I go home. My brothers have no kids and my husband brother has 2 children who live in Northampton so miles from us so we see them 2 times a year if we are lucky. Again it makes me and DH sad after spending time with them

I'm similar so I avoid putting myself in these situations as much as possible without looking weird!! We do make a special exception for our nephew. There's never a day where we wouldn't want to see him or hear about what he's up to. I think we just see our relationship with him as something completely separate as he'll always be our nephew no matter how our story ends.

 

[MoominGirl]

@moomin thanks hun. I think I'm settled on keeping mouth shut for now. My mum knows family is on the agenda but a few reminders that we are trying to clear a bit of debt has kept her at bay for now I think. If we get further down the line and it turns out things will be really difficult like towards the end of this year maybe will reconsider.

Strangely I think his parents would be less likely to probe. Beucase he tells them very little and it's usually me filling in the blanks I think his mum would not want to pry. But I would never let her in on something my mum didn't know as don't think that is fair on my mum.

Trying not to wish the weekend away as back to work Monday but looming forward to getting docs over with as think it will hopefully set our mind at rest for now that we feel we are moving forwards. In the meantime I'm ov this weekend and with parents visiting it's not ideal...they are staying in a hotel but hubby never keen on the half hour snatched sex so I'm not feeling optimistic we gonna be giving it our best shot this month x

It's funny you say that about his parents as I genuinely don't think my OH's parents would pry either but I also don't think they'd add anything useful to the table either.

I think it will also be easier for you to talk about once you're actually going somewhere as the NHS is a slow process so at the moment all you'll be able to tell them is that your trying and struggling and asking for help. You'll then get met with a load of questions you don't even know the answer to yet. I think I did break my silence if I was going to at the right point as I did have a story to tell if that makes sense. Obviously only you will know if the time is right for you.

Everyone always worries about making the first step but honestly it really wasn't that bad. Hopefully your GP is supportive as I know a lot of ladies have had issues and that's when it starts to get stressful.

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

Happy soon to be, hope we make it in the end, Mothers Day everyone xx

 

[Alexis2017]

Happy soon to be, hope we make it in the end, Mothers Day everyone xx

Same to you Nikki xx

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

How's the spotting Alexis?

 

[MoominGirl]

Hope everyone is doing ok and done what they've needed to to get through today.

 

[Alexis2017]

How's the spotting Alexis?

Still the same ... I think I will need to count this as af as what else would it be ? It's went on to long now.

Today as been hell for me. I don't think I was prepared for it to hit me so badly. I have cried most of the day ...still feel weepy. I literally have changed so much as a person since ttc. I used to be a strong person and now I just crumble ....every month !

How have you found today ?

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

How's the spotting Alexis?

Still the same ... I think I will need to count this as af as what else would it be ? It's went on to long now.

Today as been hell for me. I don't think I was prepared for it to hit me so badly. I have cried most of the day ...still feel weepy. I literally have changed so much as a person since ttc. I used to be a strong person and now I just crumble ....every month !

How have you found today ?

Aw alexis I'm sorry. I guess the guessing game of our bodies is what makes us human rather than robots. But it would be so much easier if they would just behave some times and follow a pattern at least so we know where we are.

I've had a better couple of days after hubby being down again mid week. We had lovely dinners at the in laws last night with my parents who were up visiting. Turned into a lot of memory sharing and was just niceseeing my hubby smiling as he has been finding things tough.

He has been sat today going through old slides from his childhood and it actually hasn't made me sad. It has made my body ache for that baby seeing how cute he was when he was little and the lovely family memories he has. I hope we have our chance to make our own memories soon.

Just tomorrow to get out the way then will we what doc advises is next steps on Tues x

 

[Alexis2017]

Good luck at Docs. I was hoping it would just have happened this month. I think with the fertility clinic saying our best chance was the 3 months post hsg test and its been 2 full cycles since then I think I've lost hope now. I can't keep falling from great heights like this every month. I don't think I will be joining in on the testing threads anymore as no point, it's just not happening. I think its time for me to start accepting ivf and the possibility of not having children. I don't think any women should have to face this.

 

[MoominGirl]

How's the spotting Alexis?

Still the same ... I think I will need to count this as af as what else would it be ? It's went on to long now.

Today as been hell for me. I don't think I was prepared for it to hit me so badly. I have cried most of the day ...still feel weepy. I literally have changed so much as a person since ttc. I used to be a strong person and now I just crumble ....every month !

How have you found today ?

Aw alexis I'm sorry. I guess the guessing game of our bodies is what makes us human rather than robots. But it would be so much easier if they would just behave some times and follow a pattern at least so we know where we are.

I've had a better couple of days after hubby being down again mid week. We had lovely dinners at the in laws last night with my parents who were up visiting. Turned into a lot of memory sharing and was just niceseeing my hubby smiling as he has been finding things tough.

He has been sat today going through old slides from his childhood and it actually hasn't made me sad. It has made my body ache for that baby seeing how cute he was when he was little and the lovely family memories he has. I hope we have our chance to make our own memories soon.

Just tomorrow to get out the way then will we what doc advises is next steps on Tues x

Glad you had a nice weekend. From someone who's been there, make sure you look after your OH. This affects men more than they like to admit and your relationship will thank you for it. They say LTTTC can make or break a couple and I can definitely see why. Good luck at the docs. Hope it goes well for you.

 

[MoominGirl]

Good luck at Docs. I was hoping it would just have happened this month. I think with the fertility clinic saying our best chance was the 3 months post hsg test and its been 2 full cycles since then I think I've lost hope now. I can't keep falling from great heights like this every month. I don't think I will be joining in on the testing threads anymore as no point, it's just not happening. I think its time for me to start accepting ivf and the possibility of not having children. I don't think any women should have to face this.

Try not to read too much into being more fertile after the HSG. There's a lot of mixed opinion on whether it actually helps or if it's just coincidence. I've been told both by 2 different doctors and obviously it didn't work for me. Others will say differently.

Taking a step back might be a good thing as it my help manage your expectations and you'll be less stressed if there's less pressure. It doesn't mean you're giving up. It just means you're making a conscious decision not to let it consume you.

 

[Pidgeridoo]

Good luck for Tuesday Nikki! Having a action plan to move forward has helped me! Although I still have plenty of bad days lol I'm so grateful for OH though, he has been a star through all this! LTTTC has definitely made us stronger, every cloud eh? Thankfully my OH has alot of siblings so his mum has plenty of grandchildren to keep her busy and she has never questioned when or if we want kids lol
I have been struggling alot lately with telling my mum and aunt (basically my second mum)! They have always been my rocks and I have always told them everything! My thinking at the minute is I will tell tham at the end of my journey so there will be no pressure during treatment and hopefully I will be able to answer any questions! But hopefully I will be telling them everything after our treatment being successful and I have my BFP lol

 

[MoominGirl]

Good luck for Tuesday Nikki! Having a action plan to move forward has helped me! Although I still have plenty of bad days lol I'm so grateful for OH though, he has been a star through all this! LTTTC has definitely made us stronger, every cloud eh? Thankfully my OH has alot of siblings so his mum has plenty of grandchildren to keep her busy and she has never questioned when or if we want kids lol
I have been struggling alot lately with telling my mum and aunt (basically my second mum)! They have always been my rocks and I have always told them everything! My thinking at the minute is I will tell tham at the end of my journey so there will be no pressure during treatment and hopefully I will be able to answer any questions! But hopefully I will be telling them everything after our treatment being successful and I have my BFP lol

+1 for having an action plan. It just makes me feel like we're going somewhere even if it's not as quickly as I'd like!!

I also can't fault my OH in all this and we are also stronger for it.

We have also decided that if we do end up doing IVF, we won't be telling anyone we're doing it. I think it just adds to the pressure and anyone who hasn't done it themselves isn't going to offer anything useful.

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

Thanks moomin and pidge

Docs feels like a step forward. Will keep you all posted.

Hubby suffers from anxiety more so than depression but it can manifest as some very blue days. It seems to be pinned to financial worries and he feels that once our credit card debt is cleared he will feel stronger and more in control. That should be the case by June. Bar the last bit of debt that's solely mine for buying my horse so hopefully he will continue to feel better as the next couple of months progress.

We have managed to DTD CD#8/9/10/15 (today) so hoping we can manage a couple more over next 2 or 3 days as CM seems to point to me ov. Anytime now.

Started temping yesterday...too late for this cycle but going to see if it helps me pin point ov. And see the pattern x

 

[Alexis2017]

Good luck at Docs. I was hoping it would just have happened this month. I think with the fertility clinic saying our best chance was the 3 months post hsg test and its been 2 full cycles since then I think I've lost hope now. I can't keep falling from great heights like this every month. I don't think I will be joining in on the testing threads anymore as no point, it's just not happening. I think its time for me to start accepting ivf and the possibility of not having children. I don't think any women should have to face this.

Try not to read too much into being more fertile after the HSG. There's a lot of mixed opinion on whether it actually helps or if it's just coincidence. I've been told both by 2 different doctors and obviously it didn't work for me. Others will say differently.

Taking a step back might be a good thing as it my help manage your expectations and you'll be less stressed if there's less pressure. It doesn't mean you're giving up. It just means you're making a conscious decision not to let it consume you.

Yeah we were planning on taking a step back after the next cycle . We have already in a way took a step back as stopped all charting... I don't think there is much more we can step back from other than not try ...and that isn't going to happen seeing as the goal is to make a baby.