**** july mummies 2018 *****

[Shepherdess]

aw Jemrose that's a horrible thing for your oh to say. hopefully things will improve once you get into tri2, it's a really tough time atm

my husband is being way better this pregnancy then he was my last. but he does know he has to be as I spent a long time saying I couldn't have another child due to the lack of support I had when DD was born, although it wasn't entirely his fault as she was born at lambing time and he was so busy but I did struggle

this time he is being very patient so far and being a star dad although I can tell he is a little frustrated that I'm not my bright happy motivated self. and he's not getting the cooking he's used to haha he's had fish fingers sandwiches multiple nights this week! he's at his mum's having a roast now and I'm glad because I've got no meat or anything nice in to feed him later

have you made up with your oh today Jemrose?

 

[Shepherdess]

just been out for a nice long walk with the dog's which has made me feel loads better, come back had a shower and used all my lovely creams so I'm quite content now. I think I'll make a cheese toastie for lunch

quick question in case anyone knows, I know pregnanxy women are not supposed to use essential oils for bathing but I always put lavender in my daughters bath to help her eczema, obviously I'm in it up to my wrists washing her, do I need to stop?

 

[Shanivy]

JR that's a terrible thing for your oh to say. I hope you've spoken since you posted. Has he apologised? Some men struggle to understand what pregnancy really means. It's not as easy as they think it will be. OH has been wonderful this time around. I really couldn't have done it without him.

He wasn't as good the first time for the early weeks. It took him a few months to get his shit together after I told him I would just do it myself. After Ivy came it was like a light switched on for him. He had her for an hour by himself just after she was born while midwives tried to sort me out, figure out what was wrong with me. He was the first to dress her put a nappy on her etc. Some men really don't get it until they hold the baby. He's been acting like a dad to this one from the minute we found out. I think you need to speak to him and explain what you need from him. And what you don't. It's such a big change having a first baby and you need him on the same page. You certainly don't deserve that attitude. I hope you get everything sorted out hun xxx

 

[Shanivy]

Edit SHEPHERDESS I think you'll be fine with the lavender if it's just for dd xx

I don't know how I thought someone else said that. Ffs

 

[KHTW]

JemRose that's not on for him to say that! I am sorry he is being a dick about it... being pregant is not easy!!!! He needs to get a grip hun xxx

 

[_GG_]

Oh my JemRose. I'm afraid I'd have lost my shit at him for that. I did with Dan in the summer. I was 4+5 with our first pregnancy and no nausea but lots of cramping, boobache and awful gas and heartburn. He kept taking the piss out of me for "being overly dramatic". I opened my laptop and opened about a dozen tabs that discussed how hard early pregnancy can be on a women. Next time he moaned, I said, "I've been pregnant before, this is a first for you, so I'm going to get angy yet but read these and if you dare to belittle how I feel again, I'll kick you a womb of your own". We never have cross words at each other so he was quite shocked...so read like two articles and came to me with a massive apology. He also thanked me for not being angry, but like I said, I understood it would be hard for him to understand. When we lost that and the other pregnancies, he couldn't believe I'd got through my first loss years ago with my ex who was zero support.

This pregnancy, he's been brilliant. At the start, he was very nervous of another loss, but was still supportive. Since the scan, he's researched more than I have, lol.

All couples have their moments. All humans fail their partners sometimes, but certain things shouldn't even be said in the heat of the moment so don't be afraid to give him both barrells and big ole dose of man the fuck up buttercup!

 

[JemRose]

Things were better, we had a lovely day and now they're awful again I didn't pull out quick enough at a junction and he just went crazy at me. Came home and he's stormed out and been gone for 2 hours and no idea where he is. He is never ever like this, I don't know what's going on
Thanks for your support ladies, but at the moment I don't think putting him in his place is gonna work. I just can't do anything right. It's all a nightmare, I don't think we're going to make it through this

 

[PeanutButter]

Jem, me and hubby were like that when i was preg with Scarlett. Things got better then when she was born went to shit again... So much arguing etc. Were loads better now. Think it takes time to get used to new things. My hubby was worse than me for the mood swings! Just ask him why he's being a total dick for no reason. X

 

[_GG_]

Things were better, we had a lovely day and now they're awful again I didn't pull out quick enough at a junction and he just went crazy at me. Came home and he's stormed out and been gone for 2 hours and no idea where he is. He is never ever like this, I don't know what's going on
Thanks for your support ladies, but at the moment I don't think putting him in his place is gonna work. I just can't do anything right. It's all a nightmare, I don't think we're going to make it through this

You need to put you and your baby first. It isn't easy for men, so yes, a little understanding can go a ling way but...
A relationship that can only survive if you walk on eggshells is not a relationship, it's a dictatorship. It sounds like he's free to do and feel as he pleases and you are very much not being allowed the same.

I really hope he comes to his senses soon but please don't be afraid to recognise red flags. His behaviour at the moment is not on. You deserve better and don't let him convince you otherwise. He was happy to play his part getting you pregnant, he needs to grow up and fast!

 

[Shanivy]

I'd be locking the door I'm afraid. OH used to do shit like that when we were younger. We've been together since we were 18. I cannot stand being walked out on. We got over it all and are solid now. So shit happens and you can get through it.

Maybe he had a reason, maybe he's bricking it now about the baby and is taking that out on you. Saying YOU just can't do anything right is not the right phrase because hun you're not the issue here. You definitely deserve better from him lovely.

But like GG says he needs to man up big time.. Quite frankly you don't need this shit. I hope you can work it out and he wises up, explains, apologises . You and the baby are your most important thing right now xx

 

[_GG_]

I'd be locking the door I'm afraid. OH used to do shit like that when we were younger. We've been together since we were 18. I cannot stand being walked out on. We got over it all and are solid now. So shit happens and you can get through it.

Maybe he had a reason, maybe he's bricking it now about the baby and is taking that out on you. Saying YOU just can't do anything right is not the right phrase because hun you're not the issue here. You definitely deserve better from him lovely.

But like GG says he needs to man up big time.. Quite frankly you don't need this shit. I hope you can work it out and he wises up, explains, apologises . You and the baby are your most important thing right now xx

Absolutely. Nothing wrong with a man freaking out. He can damn well do it without being so unnecessarily cruel to you JR. Big hugs. Think his mum could do with knowing and clipping him round the ear!

 

[JemRose]

Thank you he's come in and cuddled me and apologised. Without any prompting he said he knows he's been shit to me and unsupportive and he's going to try harder. I think he'd been to his mums and Maybe some sense was drilled into him lol x

 

[PeanutButter]

That's good to hear Jem x

 

[Rachel84]

Jemrose, so glad to hear he has come home and apologised. I really hope he does try harder.
My hubby hasn't been very supportive lately. I'm often told I wanted this I shouldn't complain. Not a great feeling. So glad I have my boys they are always sweet to me.

 

[JemRose]

Men!! No clue have they lol x

 

[Shanivy]

Glad to hear he's had sense slapped into him JR xx

 

[_GG_]

Men!! No clue have they lol x

Love that I made the mum comment and he'd been to see his mum and sounds like he got it, lol.

So glad he's apologised xx

 

[KHTW]

Men can really be clueless, hope all is well from now on xx

 

[KHTW]

Getting ready for work and already can't be bothered... #worstattitude x

 

[Shepherdess]

I'm glad he's apologised Jemrose but don't let him have a day or two of nice'ness then go backwards. you don't need the stress

is anyone else using a pregnancy pillow yet? my mum very kindly brought me one last pregnancy but I didn't like it for sleeping with at all (greatffor breastfeeding though) but after a few bad night's sleep early last week I dug it out and I'm loving it. I don't know what I was doing wrong last time but it's really helping atm

khtw what kind of job do you have? sorry you probably have written it somewhere