It hurts far too much;

[bearsmummy]

My ex has decided to step up to the plate but i can't let him, he's off trying to have kids with someone else who happend to be one of my closest friends and never wanted me or my baby girl and now he comes back saying he wants to be in her life but his new girlfriend would be aswell. I've said no. I know it might seem really cruel but i cant let my child think she has anything to do with that slut. I've never hurt so much or felt so selfish but i can't do it.

 

[Princess81]

Awww hun
That's so awful. But surely he has some sort of rights as the baby's father if he wants to be invovled? I dunno about these things really - I'm sure the others will be able to help you more, but would it be worth giving up on letting your child have a relationship with their dad? They mightn't thank you for it in the long run?
I'm not trying to undermine how you feel at all, so please don't think that, but you could be in for a battle on your hands if you try to stop him.
Big hugs xx

 

[bearsmummy]

I know i must seem cruel and selfish but i still have all the messages off him saying i'm a whore that tricked him into getting me pregnant and saying if he ever saw me again he'd make sure me nor my baby would be seen again. He's a horrible person who isn' t going to change and i can't help feeling he might hurt her.

 

[Princess81]

Mmmh well can see why you aren't keen on the idea hun, I hope that what ever happens it turns out for the best anyhoo x

 

[bearsmummy]

Thanks x

 

[MrsR]

Maybe you could arrange things legally through lawyers? If you have a contract saying when and where he sees bubs and he breaks it then you have the law on your side. You can say 'look at all I've done to grant him access and he's broken it'. Also you could prevent his girlf seeing bubs cos she has nothing to do with her. You could include a part in contract to state that she doesn't see your daughter. Lots of things can be arranged like where he sees her-in your house or a neutral place. I would suggest seeking legal advice, showing your lawyer the messages and ask them for guidance. Parental rights have changed in last few years. It's harrowing, confusing and ultimatly an emotional rollercoaster but you don't want her dad finding her in years to come and saying 'i tried to see you but mum wouldn't let me', it'll be hard but try to give him a chance-legally binding-then when he does screw up you have evidence to show her when she's older. Be strong honey and try not to speak to him directly, it's safer to deal through lawyers.

 

[bearsmummy]

Thanks that helped alot. Now i've calmed down i feel better x

 

[MrsR]

I'm so glad I could help hon! Big hugs.