in a complete state and feel so alone!

[Iwant3]

I am sat here in tears alone in the house with my daughter (3) I can't stop the tears and my poor lil girl was sat on my lap tightly hugging me crying too! i don't want this to effect her, she doesn't even know what happened!

I feel like DH and I aren't very close at the moment, he has had flu and was trying to stop me catching it so has been sleeping on the sofa at night and spending lots of time in the bedroom during the day - so I have hardly seen him, been close to him and we have talked only briefly about what has happened. He was already low about being ill a lot since October - he is a keen cyclist an usually trains lots and competes in races - but has been unable to do this all of last year due to illness and 2 lots of broken ribs......so this mc has just set him deeper in depression - so I don't want to burden him with all my emotions and sadness too as he so relies on my strength and support.

I hope now he is getting better that we can regain some closeness and that we can start feeling better in ourselves and that we can find strength together.

I have no friends nearby, and all the adults I am in daily contact with are parents of the children I mind, so they do not know I was even pregnant, let alone that I haave suffered 2 losses - have been doing a good job of hiding everything when they come to the house morning and evenings

My parents know and even took me to the hospital on Monday for my scan, but my mum's great but doesn't know what to do or say if she cannot just fix it iyswim.

Anyway...........I just wanted to get all these feelings down somewhere! i have no apetite, have a tight/upset feeling in my stomach that I know is stress and upset. The bleeding has all but stopped.........but horribly enough my milk has come in so my boobs are enlarged again etc - what a cruel and horrible thing to happen - there is no baby to feed

 

[SeonaidMac]

Oh hun i'm so sorry you're having to go through all this xx just wanted to send you lots of hugs xxx xx

 

[JJ Mum]

oh Iwant I really feel for you.

I think maybe even tho your beig a wonderful support for your oh, maybee you need to sit down and clear the air when kids in bed one night and tell him how you are feeling.

I keep positive for my oh as he is prone to going down hill and negative vibes really rub off on him, but I think that he will need to see what this is doing to you, and you may find if you share some down time together it will bring you closer, you have both lossed, it's a feeling to be shared together.

you can be being brave with all this, but you will feel alone, and you shouldn't have to.. Your oh may step it up a little and provide you some much needed support

X

 

[Lozzaste]

Sorry to hear you're feeling like this
The hormone dip causes the crying, and I think shock too. I was like that a week or so later too.
I went into a hole of being down and angry about it which I am not proud of. I was drinking too much and getting emotional about it. It's a bit drastic but we went away for three weeks over Christmas, myself, hubby and little girl. It helped me no end, I was laughing again and at Christmas, everything felt right. I was so glad for that.
Perhaps you could get away with your family? Maybe even a few days?
Hugs xx

 

[can]

Ahhhh hun sorry to hear you are feeling so low, i had the same was ok for a week after i had scan and was no heartbeat but fell apart after erpc was sooo down for a week or so, cried over everthing and didnt see the point of anything, but there does come a point when you pick yourself up and it seems to ease a bit, remember the hormones play a big part. My erpc was 6 weeks ago now and am feeling stronger and more positive. I dont know why this has happened to us but we will get our happy after in the end just gota be strong i guess. Big hugs for you

 

[babyslog]

Awww hun





Im thinking of you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[leean10]

Aww babe, I know it's hard but I do promise you it gets better!! I never gone far enough to have milk come through but feeling the body change is hard!!

It's normal to feel like this and I hope that you and OH get chance to talk about it because it really does help!!

Take care hon, big hugs xxxx

 

[laurat]

Big hug honey!!! All advice Id ditto above!

 

[stephttc]

I'm really feeling for you! I did think that it would hit you at some point and I guess that's what has happened! Your hormones are still going to be all over the place which doesn't help with the sadness that you are faced with!

Sending you a big hug and hoping that with time the pain will ease xxx

 

[PurplePixi]

So sorry this happened again not been on the forum for a few days and was thinking of you. Don't know what to say I cant imagine going through it again. Take care xxx

 

[CrazyChic]

I'm sorry this has happened to you again hun, I can't imagine how you feel I hope your DH feels better soon and you start spending time together again as that's important that you get that back good luck and I'm thinking of you

xx

 

[waaah101]

So sorry you're going through this,what an awful awful time for you both.

 

[Iwant3]

Hello Dearie,

You know I'd have to tell you that you are so blessed to be feeling down and alone. Look at the situation in a positive light. Know in your heart that your miscarriage could be a sign that you and your husband are very healthy that you can conceive. Some couples have been waiting all their lives and couldn't even get an assurance that they are capable of reproducing-- but still holding on to their faith. You have a 3-year old child who seems to need all the love and affection and could be the recipient of the so-much-love in your heart.

You are soooo blessed. I will pray for you to regain your strength for your little one and your DH who needs care and attention at this time. Be strong for being the woman in the family, you are expected to bear all the blows of life just to take care of your family.

Sending you my love...

I'm not sure how to take this post! I am blessed to be feeling down and alone! WTF does that mean..........

sorry if I am being over sensitive, but it seems like you are telling me to shut up stop moaning about loosing 2 pregnancies and that I should be grateful for what I have (I am thank you!).

 

[elizabethbalch]

I'm so sorry I think my message got mixed up. It feels as if I am overly insensitive about the situation. I meant you are still so blessed despite of your losses because you have your family. You have your daughter and your DH loving and supporting you to be feeling down and alone. I should have said you are still blessed because you have your family..

When you're down and you focus on the pain, it will make you more depressed. I know that it's difficult because I've miscarried also after trying to conceive for 4 years. I've undergone infertility treatments just to have a child. I am so sorry if it felt like I was annoying rather than trying to help you out of your misery.

Deep in my heart, my intentions were good when I wrote that post. I am so sorry for making you feel bad.