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Hi Carnat,

So so sorry to hear this :( You must be feeling so so frustrated!!! Make sure you tell your doctor exactly how all this is making you feel, a chemical pregnancy is still a loss, you still have all those feelings and desires only to have them all fall down around you. Let us know how you get on, thinking of you xxx
 
I'm doing OK.

Very confused though as I got a BFP yesterday - and I am still not bleeding as I would expect (based on last months CP)

The EPU told me that if I am still getting a positive a week after bleeding started to come in and they'll scan me but at the moment it's just too early.

I am seeing a Gyno Dr at my GP surgery on Tuesday.

I have a long weekend off work so I am going to chill and and pamper myself.

Still not had the wine I really want as the BFP threw me.

I know my body so I know I will miscarry but the big question is when? The lady at the EPU agreed it is most likely I'll just miscarry naturally (as I have done before) but now I am in that awful limbo.

My M/C is May took 3 weeks and I cannot go through that again.

When the bleeding began on Monday I assumed it was a CP. Now it seems as though my body doesn't know what it is doing.

I am so confused and I just want a resolution. I can handle the loss BUT I cannot handle that horrible waiting.

Sadly it is just a waiting game at the moment.
 
When I went to EPU last week she said it could take up to 2 weeks to begin, but luckily mine came after 2 days, so I officially miscarried on the 27th even though I knew it was going on the 25th. It was thankfully over with in 2 days, with some light bleeding only on the third day. Much easier than even a normal period would have been, for that I am thankful.
This was different to my last mc, which was a sudden woosh of blood that was really scary and unnerving.
As they say, no two are the same, so you might find this goes by much easier than you are imagining right now. Fingers crossed it goes as smoothly as possible, to reduce the upset you are feeling :hugs:
 
leesey said:
When I went to EPU last week she said it could take up to 2 weeks to begin, but luckily mine came after 2 days, so I officially miscarried on the 27th even though I knew it was going on the 25th. It was thankfully over with in 2 days, with some light bleeding only on the third day. Much easier than even a normal period would have been, for that I am thankful.
This was different to my last mc, which was a sudden woosh of blood that was really scary and unnerving.
As they say, no two are the same, so you might find this goes by much easier than you are imagining right now. Fingers crossed it goes as smoothly as possible, to reduce the upset you are feeling :hugs:
Click to expand...

My S-I-L had a sudden M/C a while back.

Not sure what is worse to be honest [the answer of course is that all M/C's are God awful]

I just cannot deal with this waiting - it is like my body is tormenting me.

Last time it took me 3.5 months including waiting to Miscarry and getting over miscarrying. 3.5 months is a Hell of a long time :shock:

It just feels so hopeless, I cannot even get past the first hurdle - I have started bleeding at week 5 with all 3 pregnancies.

Maybe it's a sign I should give up!
 
carnat it sounds like a hormone problem.. have you spoken to your doctor?
 
Dragonfly Fi said:
carnat it sounds like a hormone problem.. have you spoken to your doctor?
Click to expand...

I'm seeing the Dr on 8th - it is the GP that specialises in Gyno / fertility at my practice so I will be in good hands.

I also know I have a fibroid - it was pointed out to me during one of my internals. Dr who scanned me did say it would have been there since birth and she didn't think tha was the cause but I will mention it to GP.
 
Just to advise that I went to EPU on Friday an was scanned (too early to see anything - not even the gestational sac!)

I had a blood test and they called me first thing Saturday to advise it will be another M/C for me (Like I didn't already know :shock:)

My HCG level was only 87 and they expect that to drop to 20 within 2 weeks. Nurse that I spoke to was lovely.

Heavy bleeding and pain started that afternoon (so thankfully I wasn't left 3 weeks to wait it out like last time)

I am off to Dr's tomorrow and am going to be asked for a referral to the reoccurent Miscarriage clinic.

OH and I are not even going to be able to try until the New Year now as I need to wait for at least one cycle.

I am so upset - had the first M/C not happened on the 4th Jan 2012 my baby wouild have been due - I know I cannot change the fact that it wasn't to be BUT I'd hoped to at least be some way into a healthy pregnancy by then.

Not only will there be there no baby but I've since had two more unsuccesful pregnancies.

I know logically that I am lucky in some ways - my M/C's have been early and not required any medical intervention. Also I know I can get pregnant quite easily. BUT today I just want to scream "why me". 3 losses on the trot just seems so unfair?
 
i cant imagine how you must feel hun, i wish i could give you a big hug because to suffer so many MC must be soul destroying. I really hope next time is the one for you, I know you wanna get PG asap but maybe waiting a couple of months is a good thing, give you time to get that fibroid checked out hunny.
 
lynette said:
i cant imagine how you must feel hun, i wish i could give you a big hug because to suffer so many MC must be soul destroying. I really hope next time is the one for you, I know you wanna get PG asap but maybe waiting a couple of months is a good thing, give you time to get that fibroid checked out hunny.
Click to expand...

I was told that I need at least one normal cycle so that's TTC out of the window until next year now.

In a way it's a relief and yep I will def get that fiboid all checked out. I also need to book my smear (due end of Oct but as I'd had my BFP I didn't want to chance it)

I am trying to be positive - but it's very hard at the moment to see any positives to this mess.
 
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hopefully next year will be a fresh start for you and you can get the baby you deserve hunny xx we are all here for you and your journey make sure you comeon here and rant away when you need to x
 
lynette said:
hopefully next year will be a fresh start for you and you can get the baby you deserve hunny xx we are all here for you and your journey make sure you comeon here and rant away when you need to x
Click to expand...

I am in a "ranting" mood today I must say.

My OH has been crap the past few days as well and that doesn't help.

He told me not to test 'early' - due to bleeding at 5 weeks in both previous pregnancies. This is what he said to me last night when I was in tears about it all - again!

Like not testing would mean I didn't know I was having frigging miscarriage?

He also had the cheek to ask me why I was in such a bad mood on Saturday? Doh... I ended up screaming at him "I am having my third fucking miscarriage in 6 months that's what is wrong with me"

He doesn't seem to understand that regardless of anything else there is a hormonal battle going on inside me that I just cannot control at the moment.

He was so sweet when it all started a week ago but he seems to be acting as though I should be "over" it all by now. His patience and kindness seems to have waned?

I know he has my best interests at heart. He hates to see me so upset and I guess he thought by not testing until I was at least 2 weeks late we'd somehow be able to avoid all this sadness? It's very simple logic though.

He doesn't seem bothered that I am off to the Dr's tomorrow. He did offer to come to EPu with me on Friday - albe it in a very half arsed way. He doesn't seem to see the problem in having 3 M/c's in a row? He thinks our times will come blah, blah, blah!

At this rate I'll be getting referred to the recurrent miscarriage clinic and I'll not have anyone to get me pregnant LOL!
 
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i really dont think men see it they way we do after all we carry the babies they are a part of us physically. i am sure he is not trying to be an arse sometimes they dont even know they do it.

I hope you work things out hun, these things make you stronger x
 
Hi Carnat,
So sorry hunny to read this thread. I really do know where you re coming from though.
As you know I have had two MMC in the space of a year, and only that long between them because it took me so long to get pregnant, but very painful still. So different situation but Im sure the pain is very similar. Its been one long hard year.
And it has definitely taken something away from me. I feel like my whole being has been cut in to pieces and jumbled up like a jigsaw puzzle and im just trying to piece myself back together again.
So I just want to say I know how you are feeling, not that it is any consolation that many women go through this, but we will get there, we will for sure. I have my appt with the gyno fertility dr next week too. If I can offer you any support at all please pm me. you will get through this. xxxx
 
Men are rubbish hun, it's fact, my OH is just as bad, he keeps telling me everything will be ok. He has nothing else to say! Just that..... Then he decided now would be a good time to book to go home and visit his parents and new nephew for 10 days Hmph. I know he needs to go, but now?? Especially when we are due to move house the week before Xmas!
 
Corrinne37 said:
Hi Carnat,
So sorry hunny to read this thread. I really do know where you re coming from though.
As you know I have had two MMC in the space of a year, and only that long between them because it took me so long to get pregnant, but very painful still. So different situation but Im sure the pain is very similar. Its been one long hard year.
And it has definitely taken something away from me. I feel like my whole being has been cut in to pieces and jumbled up like a jigsaw puzzle and im just trying to piece myself back together again.
So I just want to say I know how you are feeling, not that it is any consolation that many women go through this, but we will get there, we will for sure. I have my appt with the gyno fertility dr next week too. If I can offer you any support at all please pm me. you will get through this. xxxx
Click to expand...

Thank you hun - I know it's awful to say BUT it is reassuring to know that others understand. Especially as I've not told anyone is real life (barring one work colleague who keeps finding me in tears at my desk!)

I cannot believe that the past 6 months of my life have been consumed with either being pregnant, TTC or the emotional / physical fall out from no longer being pregnant. I ddin't even realise it had become so consuming?

You explain things very well and the jigsaw puzzle is a very good analogy. I am a different person now - I am a woman who cannot stay pregnant. Six months ago I would never have thought that I would be in this place.

I know that there are many people worse off than me and I hate to be so pathetic about it all. I know that early miscarriages that happen naturally are the "best type" (God did I really say that?). I also know I can get pregnant.

This evening I will see the GP at my practice who deals with Gyno issues, I am going to ask to be referred to a Recurrent Miscarriage clinic and I will be as forceful as I have to be to make myself heard. My 2nd loss was not recoreded anywhere (it happened over a weekend, then I couldn't get appointment with GP and EPU pretty much advised against going in as it had already happened by then) so technically I will only be counted as having two losses.

OH and I have also agreed to put TTC on hold until at least January. We've lost our way a bit as a couple - there has been too much pressue on TTC and then too much sadness when it hasn't worked out.

I do feel sad as I wanted to be pregnnat by 4th Jan (date first baby would have bene due) but I am beginning to see this as a test of patience and perserverence. A test I'll hopefull win.

Let me know how you get on with your Dr hun and same with you - if you need to 'talk' at all then I am here. I log on pretty much all day LOL!

xxxxxxxxxx
 
kedi376 said:
Men are rubbish hun, it's fact, my OH is just as bad, he keeps telling me everything will be ok. He has nothing else to say! Just that..... Then he decided now would be a good time to book to go home and visit his parents and new nephew for 10 days Hmph. I know he needs to go, but now?? Especially when we are due to move house the week before Xmas!
Click to expand...

kedi, whilst we know they mean well it is frustrating?

I kind of wish my OH would bog off for a few days and leave me alone as he isn't really helping. Actually I wish I could bog off for a few days but that's another story.

I know it's no excuse but maybe this is your OH's way of dealing with it? Maybe he just needs a bit of a breather as I know it would have been a really emotionally intense time for you both.

It doesn't help you, but maybe him going to see his family for a bit will give him the strength to come home and offer you the support you need?

It's hard that there is another little baby in the mix (I found out I was pregnant the first time when my nephew was 2 days old!) and read on another post that you had decided to go with you OH.

Maybe you can use this as time to pamper yourself and have lots of girly time - lots of good food and voddie? :)

At the moment I think it's all about making the best of a crappy situation? That is all we can do hey
?
xxxxxxxxxx
 
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