I love him so much

Im Going to look for a job next month and put some money behind me.. Thats wht i was planning to do.. Then look for the flat.. But i need the job and money behind me first. Im not completly ignoring what your all saying i do know where your coming from its just hard hearing all this i geuss.
 
id start looking for a job now tbh no point waiting
 
x0xbaybeeemz said:
Im Going to look for a job next month and put some money behind me.. Thats wht i was planning to do.. Then look for the flat.. But i need the job and money behind me first. Im not completly ignoring what your all saying i do know where your coming from its just hard hearing all this i geuss.

Awww hun, yes it is hard, but people are only trying to help :) We are not monsters and trying to put you down, just to share our thoughts and experiences etc.

You do need the job and the money behind you. Without that a flat for you and OH can't happen. And you'll be stuck in the same situation you are in now.

Just please consider the TTC bit and delay it till you've acheived those other things first. If you become PG now things like a job and so on will be so much harder and you may find you are not eligible for maternity pay from it when the time comes and that would be such a shame and a struggle.

There are so many things to think about to make up the bigger picture for your future, your OH's future and any child that comes along. Just being able to see those things and realise them is a start. The better prepared you are now, the better for the future when you do have a baby. Take a step back and look at it all and I am sure you can see that what we have been trying to say might actually make sense :)

Really, I do wish you well and I know I had said I was going to bow out of this thread, but I don't like to ignore people so I did come back and post :)
 
so are you gonna wait like 2 months or so to ttc, i know its hard but its a good idea
 
Ill consider it :lol: Ill try not to TTC? Meaning try not to do it when im ovulating finding out thwn im ovulating stopping drinking coffee and stuff like that becaue then i hardly have any chance of conceiving.. Ill still stick on this forum tho because time flys by.
 
x0xbaybeeemz said:
Ill consider it :lol: Ill try not to TTC? Meaning try not to do it when im ovulating finding out thwn im ovulating stopping drinking coffee and stuff like that becaue then i hardly have any chance of conceiving.. Ill still stick on this forum tho because time flys by.

Drinking coffee will not stop you conceiving hun :shock: I think you have been given a lot of good advice in this thread and no-one was judging you, only trying to help as it would be very difficult to have a baby in your current situation. Once you have a place together and steady income then go for it. Age doesnt mean a thing, having a roof over babys head and money to feed/clothe him/her is very important.
Best of luck in whatever you do :hug:
 
(Please try to read this with opinions aside..)

Please ladies... Let's all just understand that no matter what anyone says, the chances are Em will probably get pregnant pretty soon. More than likely before Xmas. When she gets pregnant, all we can do is support her. There is nothing anyone could say on this subject that hasn't already been said, and whatever is yet to be said (as I'm sure someone will reply again), nothing will change this lady's mind and so I think we all need to take a step back and leave it here?

I think all angles have been covered and this is always going to be a strong subject as far as opinions are concerned. Em's received lots of advice here (I'm sure she'll agree that lots of us have very good reason to post what we do as a lot of you have been THROUGH teenage parenthood and know JUST how tough it is), but please can we just try to move on from this?

We've all put in our 2 cents now and the advice can be absorbed or thrown away, but we can't force Em to absorb the information and advice, we can only try to help her better her current situation (and that will probably soon involve a LO).

We all know what's right and wrong morally etc... Em has made her decision and whether that's living on benefits or not, there will probably be a child brought into this world who will not live in the "ideal" world. But then again, neither will Evie. Evie won't have a dad around full stop, Em's might not be around for a few days... I'm going on now sorry lol :oops:

I'd hate for someone to leave a forum which is so supportive and caring for her to struggle on her own with TTC and needing advice...

I myself would much rather put my opinions aside to ensure a soon-to-be Mother has all the support available for her to bring up and happy and healthy LO.

Final Point:

It's pretty clear the LO will be fed, housed and loved - can we not just leave it there?

xx

(I might now go and put in my application for the local elections?!) :think:
 
Er Danni, I think in the time it took you to write your post, others things were also posted in the meantime :)

x0xbaybeeemz has said she is sticking around the forum and is hoping to find a job and get some money behind her etc. And also posted about TTC.

Anyways, your post has been read and digested. Thanks :)
 
dannii87 said:
(Please try to read this with opinions aside..)

Please ladies... Let's all just understand that no matter what anyone says, the chances are Em will probably get pregnant pretty soon. More than likely before Xmas. When she gets pregnant, all we can do is support her. There is nothing anyone could say on this subject that hasn't already been said, and whatever is yet to be said (as I'm sure someone will reply again), nothing will change this lady's mind and so I think we all need to take a step back and leave it here?

I think all angles have been covered and this is always going to be a strong subject as far as opinions are concerned. Em's received lots of advice here (I'm sure she'll agree that lots of us have very good reason to post what we do as a lot of you have been THROUGH teenage parenthood and know JUST how tough it is), but please can we just try to move on from this?

We've all put in our 2 cents now and the advice can be absorbed or thrown away, but we can't force Em to absorb the information and advice, we can only try to help her better her current situation (and that will probably soon involve a LO).

We all know what's right and wrong morally etc... Em has made her decision and whether that's living on benefits or not, there will probably be a child brought into this world who will not live in the "ideal" world. But then again, neither will Evie. Evie won't have a dad around full stop, Em's might not be around for a few days... I'm going on now sorry lol :oops:

I'd hate for someone to leave a forum which is so supportive and caring for her to struggle on her own with TTC and needing advice...

I myself would much rather put my opinions aside to ensure a soon-to-be Mother has all the support available for her to bring up and happy and healthy LO.

Final Point:

It's pretty clear the LO will be fed, housed and loved - can we not just leave it there?

xx

(I might now go and put in my application for the local elections?!) :think:


Iv PM you :D
 
Dannii, I got my opinion in before you posted your speech :moon: :rotfl:
 
I think Sherlock has given you some great advice :) Whatever you decide though definately stick around. Good luck with everything, long distance relationships are never easy but it sounds like your OH loves you and you love him. :hug:
 
x0xbaybeeemz said:
Thanks :D Yer i will stick around for deff!

I just read through this entire thread and can I say I'm really glad you're sticking around. :D

I think I speak for everyone when I say that we all support you wanting to have a baby, but we want to make sure that you're happy with the rest of your life too. :) All the things you've said you want - getting a flat with your OH, getting a job etc - are all fantastic things, but maybe could do with spacing out a bit to allow yourself time to adjust? These things can be incredibly stressful and the last thing you want to happen is to put unnecessary strain on your relationship with your OH or yourself. I've found myself 14 weeks pregnant with the possibility of emigrating to the USA in the next three months (having emigrated to Spain from the UK only 1 year ago) and that's going to be a massive strain, but my husband and I have been married over a year and together for 5 and a half years (living together for 5 years), so we can probably just about cope! :lol: I'm not saying your relationship isn't strong or anything of course. But moving in together, getting a job and having a baby are all HUGE things that maybe would be best coped with one at a time? :)

Whatever you decide, the best of luck to you. :D

AMETHYST
 
Hey hun-it does sound like your mind is made up and I don't think it's really my business to try to change it either. I am young as well, 21 but I look 16, so I know how the judgement can feel. I wanted a baby young as well, but so much more goes into than you can imagine-I don't think you can until you go through it. My OH and I made a baby, and he loves me very much as well, but it was so hard for someone as young as him to cope with being a father right away. Financially, it is a huge strain and a worry.
I am so sorry! I am honest to god not trying to give you a lecture. I am just saying as someone who relates to be careful with TTC so early. I felt like I had to have a baby, wanted one so deeply, couldn't wait. But now I realize I had nothing but time, and I could have tried harder to wait even if I was anxious. (Not to say anything against my LO, she is my heart outside my body).
Anyway, good luck with everything, and I hope no matter which way you decide that things go well for you! :D
 
I think you need to get a job before you decide anything and you saying your OH has to move down to you because you have your family there well he has his family up there, I think it's something you need to talk about and I'm not judging you on your age because I was 16 when I fell pregnant accidently and 17 when I had him BUT I had job and me & OH were living together, for you to have a baby now in your situation I feel would be very selfish. I think you also need to think properly about it, having a baby is very demanding physically and emotionally and generally hard work and yes it doesn't matter whether you're 17 or 42 it's still hard but the difference is you have years ahead of you to have a baby, once you have a baby your life changes completely and there's no going back and I know this will probably go in one ear and out the other because when I was told the same I ignored it too and now I find myself saying I wish I had of waited and had Harrison when I was a bit older, I love him to bits & wouldn't change him for the world now but I do get down sometimes and long for my old life. I just hope that you take the advice that people have told you, we aren't here to judge but to help as much as we can.
 
:?

Everyone seems to think that the mother should have a job when they become pregnant. I am pregnant (by accident) and still a student. My OH has a good job and will be supporting us. I don't see there's anything wrong with the woman not having a job, if they are going to be studying or looking after the LO etc. Sorry just reading this made me question myself for a minute. I know I'm not in the ideal situation.

:( I hope I'm not going to be a bad mother just because I'm not working at the minute.
 
Cristina said:
:?

Everyone seems to think that the mother should have a job when they become pregnant. I am pregnant (by accident) and still a student. My OH has a good job and will be supporting us. I don't see there's anything wrong with the woman not having a job, if they are going to be studying or looking after the LO etc. Sorry just reading this made me question myself for a minute. I know I'm not in the ideal situation.

:( I hope I'm not going to be a bad mother just because I'm not working at the minute.

I think people are saying she needs a job because she herself said she needs one. :) Each individual circumstance is different - I won't be working when I have the baby and I'm not working now as luckily my husband has a great job that can (just about) support us both. My Mum never went back to work after I came along so effectively retired at 36, and Dad worked his butt off to provide for us all - I really admire them both for being such fantastic parents so please don't think you'll be a bad mum just because you've chosen not to work. :)

AMETHYST
 
Sorry I kind of bypassed the whole topic despite having read it all :rotfl:

Ok I get you now Amethyst and your definitely right each circumstance is different. I agree with what everyone has said about the OP waiting some time before TTC. Although good luck my dear, whatever you choose to do :hug:
 

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