Im a bit scared to be honest

[nickilubs]

Im so scared that I dont know my boyfriend.....when I split with my ex of 4years I found out loads of stuff about him that I would never of thought....and now Im terrified I dont know my boyfriend. I was so stupid and nieve and I still am and Im scared because when the cracks showed through in my ex it was easy to get up and leave....but now i have a babe and a house to care for and im soooo scared its gonna happen again.

 

[Krystal]

Aww hun, you sound upset

Forgetting your ex for a moment, has your current partner shown you any sign that underneath he is a different person from who you fell in love with? Because it sounds like your judging him against your ex. Obviously you didn't go into details but thats what it sounds like?

 

[keli]

Sweetcheeks is right i know the past feeling do come up and make us scared but you've got to remember your current BF is not your ex and you should try not to judge him based on what your ex has done they are totally different people. you do sound upset hope you feel better have you spoke to you BF about how you feel? xx

 

[MissSara]

awww hun
I'm sure its the past that your more scared about, and like everyone else has said your ex isn't your partner now. Does your partner know how you feel?

 

[nickilubs]

He knows hes sooo much more understanding than my ex. But I think my main problem is that my first relationship was absolutly ruined and torn to pieces by the Internet....I would sit down stairs watching telly while my ex would sit upstairs on his own on a computer...he would look at porn (I dont have any problems with it BUT I do care that he would lie about it) he would talk to other girls and he also tryed cheating with a girl that I knew....it was a compleatly screwed up abusive (phisical and mental) relationship....that I left after 4years because thats how long it took me to reilise that it was so wrong.

I know that my boyfriend loves me...but i never feel I can be good enough for him...he looks after me we talk and I love him sooo much. And I know it might sound stupid but I look at him and I just get the feeling that I love him sooo much that it just has to go wrong. Im so worryed of finding out things because I look for things to fault him due to how much my ex decieved me without me reilising but when I do find somthing I dont like I dont do anything about it I just sit and let it eat me up.

I wish I could just trust him but Im scared if I trust him then I will just be hurt again....If I dont I risk wreaking a perfectly good relationship.

 

[MissThing]

Dont think what might happen. Your new boyfriend is a completely different person. Maybe you should try to discuss these matter with him.? Tell him what troubles you and I bet, he will understand.

 

[keli]

your not in a good situation and sound like your self confidence and self worth has been totally knocked by your ex.. but you realise this and you know on a rational level that blaming your now partner is not right so i think your half way there. look at it this way you deserve your lovely fella and to have all these good things in your life as you had to put up with the abuse your ex gave you. i know its hard but try and put your ex out of your mind and just focus on your relationship now if bad thoughts come into your head just try to think of something else. hope you start to feel better within yourself and start to realise that you ARE good enough for your fella xx