I hate Facebook!!!

[Cosmogirl7]

Ok so I know this is really childish but I hate Facebook. Woke up this morning, went on fb and girl from school who only got married a couple of months ago posted up that she's pregnant and due in June, when my wee baby was supposed to be due. Well I cried my eyes out before work this morning. Why am I so bitter and negative towards other pregnancies? I like this girl she's lovely but it put me in such a bad mood. Why is it so easy for others and so hard for me. So many people on my news feed are pregnant it's just so hard to stomach right now xxx

 

[kinkers]

You're not bitter and negative, you're grieving and it's perfectly natural to feel this way! I deliberately haven't announced anything on my FB as I have a couple of friends on there that I know have fertility issues and are desperate for children. I know I'll probs post the odd status about it, but don't really want to make a big deal of it when I know they'll see it.

You'll deal with your loss in your own time and you will find that in time, you are really happy for her. Don't feel bad and you are certainly not childish either!

 

[MrsS143]

I know how you feel cosmo

I wouldn't say I have fertility issues
just resentment that I mc
and there's heaps of ppl due around same time I should have been due
they're constantly whinging snd I think how selfish n ungrateful
what id give to be in your shoes if it meant I only had 5-6 weeks til I had my baby!

 

[Elliott]

I'm exactly the same, am trying not to be but it is difficult. I'm that age where everyone is having or just had babies. Want my turn

 

[Bethyboo87]

I deleted fb off my phone Monday night for exactly that reason, can't deal with it. Saw something that said people are v likely to feel worse logging out of facebook than when they logged on. I think that's so true. Hope you're okay xx

 

[Cazzie11]

I feel exactly the same! Some people get pregnant so easily without complications. Not only that but I've got some friends who are getting married next year and they're saying "when I get pregnant....." I just want to yell "it's not that easy!!" You're nit a bad person for feeling like this, it's completely normal! X

 

[fun1uk]

Yes I'm the same. I would never wish anyone a mc but I do that why they so special to have children and I lost mine I've around 3 people pregnant a the moment on fb and another 3 JUST had newborns. Plus my step sons gf is pregnant with her 2nd. She's 21

 

[stacesl3]

It doesn't sound childish at all, I think we are all in the same boat. Every day i seem to go onto FB and stumble upon some baby pictures or a pic of a scan, I know someone due in January i think i may have to keep away from FB round that time!

 

[mishi]

I know from previous experience that it's very hard to see announcements and scans on Facebook.

But remember ladies, we don't REALLY know what their journey's have been either. Also it's 'normal' to get pg and everything be fine - its what happens to the majority, so it's very hard to think outside the box if you've never had any fertility issues or losses. It's normal to be happy and normal to want to share that happiness.

We haven't shared any of our heartaches or ivf journeys with anyone, other than my forum friends, my lovely Mum who died in September and this 2nd ivf I shared with my sister.

I don't want to upset anyone, and would hate to think that I would, as there may be friends who are struggling or have had losses, who like me, dont want to share that information. But neither will those people know the awful journey we've had to get where we are. I truly hope if this pregnancy works out, my FB friends won't be offended, or hurt by finding out I'm pregnant.

Having said that, I have absolutely no intention of constantly posting on Facebook about this pg, but I will want to share it.

If its too upsetting, the only real option is to stay away from it.

xxxx

 

[mistyblue]

I hate FB too - feels like people are mocking me - "look what I have that you don't" - but they aren't. I have had to hide posts from some (silly, I know), but the only real choice is not to look. I'm at an age where lots of babies are being born. I just have to believe it will be my turn one day. I felt much like you - hating all those people who had seemingly easy pregnancies with happy endings, but mishi is right. You don't necessarily know about their journey either.

I stayed off FB for a while after my mc, because I found it too hard. It's not so bad now. I just remember that they aren't trying to upset me when they post baby pics/ scans. They're doing it because it's good news and they're happy. I know that's not much help, but you're not alone and i don't think you're not bitter or negative. It's normal - take care xx

 

[mistyblue]

I hate FB too - feels like people are mocking me - "look what I have that you don't" - but they aren't. I have had to hide posts from some (silly, I know), but the only real choice is not to look. I'm at an age where lots of babies are being born. I just have to believe it will be my turn one day. I felt much like you - hating all those people who had seemingly easy pregnancies with happy endings, but mishi is right. You don't necessarily know about their journey either.

I stayed off FB for a while after my mc, because I found it too hard. It's not so bad now. I just remember that they aren't trying to upset me when they post baby pics/ scans. They're doing it because it's good news and they're happy. I know that's not much help, but you're not alone and i don't think you're not bitter or negative. It's normal - take care xx

Sorry just noticed typo. Meant to say you're not bitter or negative. Sorry x x

 

[Lozzaste]

This is a huge annoyance to me. I saw THREE on the same day after my first loss, on the day I should have been having my. 12 week scan. It was so so hard. Hope you're ok xxx

 

[babylentil304]

I dont think its bitterness i think its natural, the day i was at the hospital for my MC i saw a 14 year old girl from my high school walking around as its nearly her due date. The anger i felt was unreal i have a steady job relationship and house and this child gets her happy pregnancy. Its hurt, it grief and its normal because you know you could give a little bubba a great life and you had no say in the fact it was taken from you. Big hugs for your loss and FX that you get a little one soon xxx

 

[nicejuicypear]

I've hidden posts from people on facebook as it's the only way to manage sometimes. But you still have to see that horrible shock announcement post before you can block their posts.

I don't blame them for sharing their news but it's horrible to have it shoved in your face all the time.

 

[Corrinne37]

I know from previous experience that it's very hard to see announcements and scans on Facebook.

But remember ladies, we don't REALLY know what their journey's have been either. Also it's 'normal' to get pg and everything be fine - its what happens to the majority, so it's very hard to think outside the box if you've never had any fertility issues or losses. It's normal to be happy and normal to want to share that happiness.

We haven't shared any of our heartaches or ivf journeys with anyone, other than my forum friends, my lovely Mum who died in September and this 2nd ivf I shared with my sister.

I don't want to upset anyone, and would hate to think that I would, as there may be friends who are struggling or have had losses, who like me, dont want to share that information. But neither will those people know the awful journey we've had to get where we are. I truly hope if this pregnancy works out, my FB friends won't be offended, or hurt by finding out I'm pregnant.

Having said that, I have absolutely no intention of constantly posting on Facebook about this pg, but I will want to share it.

If its too upsetting, the only real option is to stay away from it.

xxxx

really well put mishi. xx

its so hard struggling with a loss, i remember seeing a friend of mine constantly post about her pregnancy i hated it. that baby was stillborn at 37 wks, she carried on posting loads about it, it made me cry to hear her story i felt so bad for being envious of her.

some people just like to share on facebook what is going on with them.

i really hope ladies you all get your turn and you get to share HAPPY news with your friends xx

 

[megsmeadow]

I didn't post here as I didn't really get this too much. I didn't announce my last pregnancy on Facebook but probably would have announced her birth if she had made it. So in saying that I feel that I can't really post openly about grieving either as no one will have a clue what I'm on about, and I don't want sympathy posts. But I want to talk about my little girl and be proud of her.
So on Christmas Day a nurse I work with announced she was pregnant on Facebook, a friend called 2013 a magical year having welcomed her son 8 weeks early and getting engaged on Christmas Day. Those posts I handled, they made me sad because I want to share too but feel I can't. What did upset me was when my brother in law randomly checked fb and popped into conversation that his friends partner had delivered on Christmas Day, name, weight and everything, on the day I would have been 24 weeks. I don't blame anyone but I'd hoped he'd have been a bit more aware. I've not blocked posts either because for me I can't shy away from pregnancy, the same way that I sneak into the pregnancy trimesters on this forum too to read stories.
Not sure where I'm going, reminders of our losses are hard, and unexpected reminders don't have take you unawares!

 

[mummywanabe]

Its not easy ive been there as ive lost 2, but you never know what your friend has also gone through to get to this point, it killed me seeing others pregnant and my babies were gone, eventually I had my son and my bitterness to others pregnancies left me, you nust want it so bad u cant see past it, I hope you get your Happy ending x

 

[nds]

i am so glad i don't have facebook for this reason!

i'd just like to say, cliche i apologise, but i really am so sorry to hear about your loss.
it's such an awful thing to endure.

you have every right to be upset, it's natural.
you deserve a baby just as much if not more so.

i understand it's so hard to deal with and especially difficult to feel happy for them.
two of my colleagues (small workplace) were pregnant at the same time as me and i am not going back there until the second one is off on her maternity leave, not out of spite or jealousy but because i'm not quite sure i can deal with bumpasaurus in my face every day

i hope over time it gets a little easier, and i really really hope you get the ending you want.
i am sending you all my luck, love and best wishes xx

 

[Cosmogirl7]

Aaww nds thanks for your lovely message.

Chuckling away at 'bumpasaurus'!!!

Xxx

 

[nds]

you're very welcome .
hahaha glad i made you chuckle!

i hope you're feeling better about the whole situation now.
xxx