How many more times

[LucyR]

I’m thinking of trying a low dose asprin when I do TTC but just don’t know what to do when to try etc. I think it will just be some tests then prob a long wait for results x

 

[SmithyBaby]

My sonographer actually mentioned that to me after she broke the news about our mc. We had a long half hour chat where she was amazing (the male doctor - not so much!) and she really took the time to explain where we were at and what our next steps would be. She said that taking low dose aspirin has been proven to help some couples, so maybe that is worth a shot. I don't really know the science behind it but I may look into it myself.
You just need to do what is right for you at this point, have you talked to your OH and what they want to do? My OH is a bit sad I think, we are trying to look after each other but we have had a few rows the last couple of days. It is a testing time.
I hope everything works out for you I really do, you sound like you have had a really hard time of it. You really do deserve your sticky bean xx

 

[night owl]

That is a difficult decision to make Lucy but there probably is no right or wrong answer really and you may just have to go with what your gut instinct is telling you to do

Yeah hopefully it’s not long until you’re ready to TTC again smithy, it’s a good sign that you obviously ovulated within 4 weeks of the prev mc hopefully your body will follow suit and do it again this time too so that your cycles are back on track, I’m so confused with what’s going on with me now, keep getting feelings like I’m in my luteal phase like spots and nausea and little cramps, pretty sure I haven’t ovulated though I’ve had no fertile CM or at least I don’t think I have anyway, guess I’ll just have to wait and see, The epau told me to do a pregnancy pregnancy test 3 weeks after i passed everything to make sure it was negative and I haven’t done that yet so I suppose I should do that this week just to make sure

 

[night owl]

And re the low dose aspirin could certainly be worth a shot seen another couple of threads about that and it seems it won’t do any harm regardless of whether it’s needed or not needed, could even be good for your general health too lol!

 

[LucyR]

My OH is so laid back I don’t think he knows what to do either each time it happens I feel like we loose a little bit of hope for the future he doesn’t know what to do either x

 

[night owl]

it’s good that your OH is laidback as it will probably be you who gets to make the decision about when to try again at least it won’t be taken out of your hands and I think us women just know what’s right for us sometimes in a way which men don’t x

 

[LucyR]

It is good but sometimes i feel like it’s all on me and I don’t want to make decisions for us both on my own x

 

[night owl]

Yeah thats totally understandable, maybe ask him what he thinks yous should do next, I think sometimes men aren’t really very good at this stuff and therefore just let the woman take the lead, if you ask him his opinion about what to do next but don’t get much back out of him you may just have to go with your own feelings, I feel like me and my OH have barely even had a conversation about my failed pregnancies! It is a bit frustrating x

 

[LucyR]

Yeah I find his angry about the situation he doesn’t know what to do or say really I personally don’t think his coping but his done the stiff upper lip thing x

 

[LucyC]

My dh is the same as yours lucy by the sound of it. He tries to be strong and act like he’s ok for me, but he struggles to deal with it and I can tell he’s so anxious every time we’re pregnant. He also wants me to make all the decisions but it’s hard when they’re such big decisions. We waited try whilst going through tests, but then it was definitely scary trying again after a long break. I’ve seen lots of other people continue to try whilst waiting or going through tests though. There really is no right or wrong it’s just whatever feels right to you xx

 

[LucyR]

Yeah I’ve got to ring the hospital tomorrow so may see what they recommend as for OH all i get is oh it’s up to you!

 

[1sttimer]

Hi ladies - hey nightowl, welcome to the thread, I'm sorry you are going through it. In all honesty, but just so you know and are not misled they wont investigate you after 2 MC's if one is a chemical. They wont register it I'm afraid as it's not a definite. I know that sounds rubbish but I want to be honest as the doctors can be a bit dismissive - I think your situation is more common that you might think because so many people have chemicals without even knowing because they can happen so quickly, so I suppose a good way to look at it might be that had you not been trying and therefore not tracking, would you have just thought it a late period, in which case you would only know about 1 loss and still be in a really good position to conceive and have a perfectly healthy pregnancy. I hope this gives you some hope, please don't doubt yourself - your body is a wonderful and resilient thing - you will get there. xx

...don't even get me started on people that smoke and drink during pregnancy. When I was being induced with my MC at four months the window of the room looked out on to the carpark outside the maternity unit and it was full of pregnant women in dressing gowns ready to pop having fags outside...and there was I who would do anything to keep the one I was losing...its disgusting. There's no excuse. I've got zero tolerance for it and had I been anywhere near them at the time I'd have told them that too. Some people have no idea x

Low dose aspirin it cant harm, go for 85mg over the counter and take it once a day from when you ovulate

Smithbaby sorry to hear you've had a rough few days I hope it's subsiding now and you can try and start moving on xx

 

[night owl]

Thank you so much for taking the time to write to me 1sttimer, I appreciate it and what you have said is really reassuring, the logical part of me already thought to just disregard the chemical anyway, I wish I didn’t even know about it! No more early testing for me, and I know there’s plenty of ladies stuck in limbo right now waiting for specialist appointments so there’s no way I’d want to make that waiting list any longer for the people who really need it, and I completely agree with you about the smoking and drinking thing too, especially drinking which can cause brain damage before your baby is even born! I seen loads of posters on the walls at the epau about stopping smoking in pregnancy but nothing about the dangers of drinking which can be catastrophic, I’m surprised the nhs and midwifes don’t do more to make people aware, but anyway I don’t want to get controversial lol in case it’s against the rules of the forum or something, I can see from your signature you have a specialist app coming up, I hope dr quenby is a total genius and gets you your baby very soon x

 

[night owl]

That’s if it is you 1sttimer going to dr quenby I know I seen it on someone’s signature anyway!

 

[1sttimer]

Haha, bless you night owl, yes it is me I'm afraid! I'm going to start calling her Dr Quenb medicine woman! Only a month to wait from tomorrow not that I'm counting Good on you girl you've got a great attitude to your situation, just see how you go and you know you have us all on here to help support you! xx

 

[LucyR]

Least you’ve just got a month to wait now (although it will probably feel like 6) x

 

[1sttimer]

Least you’ve just got a month to wait now (although it will probably feel like 6) x

Yes definitely, I'm feeling really good about it - trying to think that after all this time a few more months isn't going to kill us whereas once upon a time I would have been utterly distraught to miss even one month let a lone a few. Slowly but surely ladies...slowly but surely (she says!) x

 

[SmithyBaby]

Hey guys, been a bit quiet for a few days but still feeling a bit down in the mouth. I am better than I was though. How is everyone doing? I am still bleeding brown blood but it seems to be lessening. The OH wanted to get frisky last night and I was terrified firstly because of infection and secondly because I absolutely don't feel ready and the thought of accidentally getting pregnant at the moment fills me with terror. Is this normal? I felt awful for saying no because it isn't that I don't want to be close to him (quite the opposite!) but I just couldn't.

 

[LucyC]

Completely normal smithy, after my third loss we were so scared of getting pregnant again, especially when going through testing, we literally stayed away from each other for the first month out of fear of getting pregnant. Glad you’re feeling a little bit better, just take one day at a time xx

 

[SmithyBaby]

Yes, it is every day as it comes. Sometimes it is completely normal as if nothing has happened. But I work as a primary school teacher and it is like a constant reminder of what I don't have and what I have lost and it is so hard to switch off.
It is getting easier but the thought of TTC at this particular moment is horrifying to me.