How many more times

[LucyR]

Any loss is deverstating no matter how far you were. It’s like your future failing apart. It’s sad that we are all connected through the same deverstation but I feel grateful to have people that understand and that I can talk to. I find the most insentive comment that’s been said to me is at least you can get pregnant. Sending you all my love x

 

[1sttimer]

Smithbaby - absolutely no need to apologise, you haven't hijacked the post at all, like Lucy said its just sad that we all have this in common. You should ABSOLUTELY say how you feel on here...sometimes I think this forum full of 'virtual' friends is the only place that people really get it! And I'm totally with you on the inappropriate comments, but like the other Lucy said people just have no idea what to say and that's no ones fault - it turns you into a bit of a social leper (especially after as long as 4 years, people are like errrrr I've run out, it's happened AGAIN.?...well shit now I'm really stumped, my word bank is empty.. its been going on too long so I just wont say anything). My favourite one is when they say 'well at least you know you can get pregnant now because that was the first issue wasn't it?'... ... quite funny really.

What people don't seem to realise is that however long you've known for one week or 12 weeks, you have it all mapped out in your head, so yes, it suddenly alters your future and when you don't know what that means or how long it will take it's massive, at any stage in pregnancy. When I had my first MC I thought 'I genuinely don't know how people who have MC's late or more than one carry on, this is the end of the world'...now I am that person and you just do, because what's the alternative?

We'll get there ladies - I'm sure of it. And this will one day all be a distant nightmare we once had, in the meantime, keep talking! (in the voice of an army lieutenant "get those chins up, get those chins up" ;o) xxx

 

[Hope123]

So sorry for your losses! I can only imagine what you are going through. I hope you all get the answers/help needed

 

[SmithyBaby]

Thank you all and thank you for your kind words 1sttimer. I just feel so angry. I lost the pregnancy last night and I am just so angry and in pain today. I went to work and I was just so mad at the world. I definitely am going to have to continue my blog on this forum as I feel like I have all this pent up rage and upset that I need to unleash somewhere. I feel like the world is cruel for taking what would be our new years baby, I feel that it is so unfair because I was so careful and ate so carefully and took all my vitamins and did everything right. I feel that no one understands and I am alone when truthfully I have lots of support and love in my life and on this forum. I feel like I want to start our family but now we have to wait again and there are no guarantees in this life. I am so blessed in so many ways but this has been such heartbreak. I know this one will take some time to heal from.

 

[LucyR]

You are not alone I know if feels that way but you have everyone on here who understands how you feel and that you can have a rant too I know I take comfort in that x

 

[SmithyBaby]

Definitely, sometimes I just need to get it out there. All the awful things I am thinking and feeling and realise I am not a bad person, I am just going through something really shit!

 

[LucyR]

Totally agree with you it’s been a week today since my medically managed miscarriage and I’m just angry at everything and everyone I got a letter through for a referral and it’s to the gynaecologist rather than the specialist I got told I was going to be referred too �� so now I feel like I’m back to square one with getting answers x

 

[1sttimer]

Totally agree with you it’s been a week today since my medically managed miscarriage and I’m just angry at everything and everyone I got a letter through for a referral and it’s to the gynaecologist rather than the specialist I got told I was going to be referred too �� so now I feel like I’m back to square one with getting answers x

Oh my god LucyR, that is literally the same thing that happened to me!! It took me 3 phone apps with the doctor, 3 calls with their secretaries and the waste of time appointment with gynae over 2 days to finally get my referral...how ridiculous is it that this just seems to be the norm I thought I'd just got unlucky! I even sent an email to my doctor BEFORE the gynae app to say that I thought it was incorrect to refer me there, I sent instructions from the Tommy's website on how GP's could make direct referrals to specialists and they still let me go to the gynea appointment - then when I got there they said, right on que, 'I don't know why you've been referred here your GP should have referred you directly to your chosen specialist'.... no shit!! I. WENT. MENTAL! x

If it helps Lucy, have a look at the Tommys website it gives quite specific info on there about it that you can pass on to your doctor if you are battling like I was.

 

[night owl]

Hi ladies, I hope you don’t mind me jumping in on this thread, first of all I’m sorry for what you have all had to go through, you are all so strong and I’m praying you all get your take home babies sooner rather than later,
I’ve joined this forum just for a bit of support really, haven’t got anyone else to talk to cos I’ve not told anyone we are trying to have a baby, but we did start trying late December 17, I’m 33 (very nearly 34) and no children yet so was eager to just get started, Anyway, I’d say we only partially tried in December cos of all the madness of Xmas and both being really busy, we only actually managed it once in the fertile window and I think it was a good few days before ovulation, so didn’t expect anything to happen, but didn’t come on in jan the day my period was due, got really excited and done a test, I got the faintest second line, you really did have to squint and look hard to see it, done another test the next day and the line had got darker even though it was still faint, but you could see it this time without having to hold it under the light and squint lol, so obviously I got really excited, next day I done a digital so I could see the word ‘pregnant’ on the screen, well you can imagine how I felt when it actually said ‘not pregnant’ and my period come the day later, 3 days after it was due, so I done a bit of googling and realised I’d basically had an early chemical, didn’t think too much of it, was just very pleased I’d managed to get preg so quickly,skipped trying in jan, missed fertile window in feb, as partner was away for work, tried again in March and lo and behold I got pregnant again, I got a good solid line at about 9/10 dpo which got darker and darker, stopped testing at about 16dpo, I was made up, told my partner, my mum and my job, I was so excited, yet I kept having these weird doubts in the back of my mind that there was anything actually growing in me, I just didn’t feel very pregnant, had some bits of nausea and tiredness but nothing major, I had quite a few days where I felt so normal I almost forgot I was pregnant, but I wasn’t bleeding or cramping so I put it to the back of my mind, anyway fast forward to 10 weeks pregnant when I started spotting and having horrible lower back ache, went into the epau, got scanned, was told there was no embryo just an empty sac which was nowhere near 10 weeks and basically my miscarriage had started, I passed it all naturally a few days later, I’ve since come to learn it was a blighted ovum which my body should probably have dealt with long before it did, so to cut a long story short I now just feel like crap, I’ve had two pregnancies which just didn’t even get off the ground, I’m doubting my bodies ability to do this... I’m considering going the doctor just to get their opinion on it but I know I’d prob be wasting my time, would you ladies considering an early chemical like mine to be a miscarriage? Sorry for hi jacking this thread with an essay!!!

 

[LucyR]

Ive had two early both natural one missed miscarriage found out at 11w6 then it happened naturally then my most recent had medically managed at 9w4 I’ve had blood tests by my docs all they said it that my progesterone levels were low but no concern I’ve just been referred to a specialist the appointments not until October tho

Thank you I spoke to my gps today they have now cancelled my appointment with gynaecology and referred me to the specialist but no appointments unit Oct

 

[night owl]

Wow LucyR that’s quite a bit of time to wait isn’t it are you going to wait until after the appointment with the specialist to try again? I’m not sure whether to go to the doctors or not, I’m just not sure whether the chemical I had in jan is even considered a miscarriage or not, don’t know whether to just try again and see what happens next time x

 

[LucyR]

Night owl: it’s hard it could be that your super fertile sounds stupid I know but that’s what they believe is my problem you get pregnant really quickly and easily but there’s issues with the cells or problems that ‘normal’ women’s bodies wouldn’t even implant but someone with supe fertility implants any embryo no matter the condition or viability. After some research I do feel that’s the case as I get pregnant fast but can’t hang on in there. I believe my first 3 miscarriages we because of this my last one was different as it had a heartbeat and the whole experience was different

I don’t know what I’m going to do can’t face another miscarriage but it’s a long time to wait so might not try but not prevent not sure yet. It’s still to raw at the moment. With your doctors it depends on the doctor I’ve had one really unsympathetic doctor said a miscarriage is no worse than a period so didn’t see what the big deal was and the rest have been really good

 

[Dinkydizzy]

lucyR that’s disgusting your doctor said that! I’m lucky and mine and my OHs doctors we’re really synpathathetic, I’ve had 2 m/c so they haven’t offered me any help to see if there is a problem with me yet but they did offer to do a post mortem on my baby last time as they didn’t die until 14 weeks but I turned it down, part of me wishes I had said yes now to see if there was a genetic reason but the other part of me is glad I didn’t

 

[LucyR]

I’ve had all my tissue sent off for testing was a hard thing to do as I had to catch it all and put it in a pot and I saw a lot more than I thought sorry but all I can say is I couldn’t believe how developed it was for just over 9 weeks then had to Keep it until I could get it to the hospital I just want some answers really

 

[Dinkydizzy]

I didn’t see my baby at 6 weeks as I passed that one into the toilet and I was young and confused and didn’t even think to get it out but my baby I just lost I was in hospital cuz I was bleeding really heavily so they took the baby away after I pushed it out and cleaned it up for me so I could see it and even at 14 weeks it was just like a really tiny fully formed baby, I’m glad I got to see them, that sounds really tough LucyR, you are a strong lady xx

 

[LucyR]

I was amazed sorry if this is to much but it was like a tiny doll fingers toes all there but just tiny was hard and I don’t really feel like I’m coping really a girl at work has announced her pregnancy at 6 weeks literally put it on Facebook everything and went to me today oh I feel sick so can’t really enjoy my fags. It’s hard because she doesn’t know what I’ve been through and so recent I found out on my first day back that she was pregnant but i just find my self being angered by her the fact she doesn’t care wants to smoke announced it and really isn’t that botherd about it. I hunk I know so many people who want to be in your position and your not even changing your life style. And then on the other hand I feel for her because I know how quick situations can change and I honk she’s put it out there and will have to tell everyone if god forbid anything happens. Sorry for the rant

 

[SmithyBaby]

I know what you mean Lucy, don't apologise! I have had about 4 pregnancies announced around me recently and I just feel so resentful but I have to remind myself that it isn't their fault. I see these perfect Instagram posts and I think life isn't like that. It isn't all roses and can change at any minute! 1 in 4 is a really high statistic and I don't feel like enough people are aware of it.

 

[Dinkydizzy]

I was amazed sorry if this is to much but it was like a tiny doll fingers toes all there but just tiny was hard and I don’t really feel like I’m coping really a girl at work has announced her pregnancy at 6 weeks literally put it on Facebook everything and went to me today oh I feel sick so can’t really enjoy my fags. It’s hard because she doesn’t know what I’ve been through and so recent I found out on my first day back that she was pregnant but i just find my self being angered by her the fact she doesn’t care wants to smoke announced it and really isn’t that botherd about it. I hunk I know so many people who want to be in your position and your not even changing your life style. And then on the other hand I feel for her because I know how quick situations can change and I honk she’s put it out there and will have to tell everyone if god forbid anything happens. Sorry for the rant

I work in a petrol station and we have a regular customer who I speak to and she’s pregnant yesterday and today she brought 20 fags and I had to bite my tongue to stop me from telling her how lucky she is and how she shouldn’t take this baby for granted

 

[LucyR]

Oh I’m surrounded by pregnant people and it’s hard to think what’s different for them I feel like such a bad person im jealous and envious of people I’ve never met and I hate that about myself

 

[night owl]

Wow that’s an interesting theory about the super fertile thing Lucy, fingers crossed the specialist figures out what’s going on with you when you see them in Oct.

I’m dreading seeing pregnancy announcements now, I know I shouldn’t think that way it’s just very hard not to feel sad, I know all I can do at this point in time is just try again and see what happens next time, and just hope for the best, I don’t think I’ll go the docs I’ve seen the nhs guidelines now which say your not investigated after 2 mc and I just feel like the first one will be brushed off for being so early on