how long did it take u to love your baby?

[Dee1985]

sounds a bad question..

but i was always lead to believe that the moment u see your baby u fall in love.
when Harley was born i was in total shock it was to much of a fast (1hr) painfull labour when he was born i didnt want to hold him i lay there for 3hrs in shock staring into space let kris and my mum hold him i had the shakes and just cryed then i was left alone with him while kris went the loo i peeked into his cot then held him after about 4hrs then by the time i got onto the ward had a nice bath and relaxed i couldnt put him down fell totaly in love with him.

with Dior.. i feel terrible admitting this but it took me weeks, ok i looked after her great cared for her but never had that love feeling for a good few weeks, it was all to tiring... but god i love her to bits now i look at her sometimes and just want to eat her lol

 

[beanie]

with Dior.. i feel terrible admitting this but it took me weeks, ok i looked after her great cared for her but never had that love feeling for a good few weeks, it was all to tiring... but god i love her to bits now i look at her sometimes and just want to eat her lol

Am glad you were able to say that Dionne. I felt like I fell in love with Seren when I first saw her but looking back it is like I have only really felt absolutley besotted and connected for the last week. Before that I have really struggled, I looked after her well and ensured she had everything she needed but I just could not bond, even to the point where I resented her for not letting me love her, how bad does that sound? Even my HV commented the other day how different we both seemed, I am more relaxed and she is a much happier baby. I feel really guilty about this. To be honest I was really scared about the thought of having another in case the same thing happened but reading what you wrote has given me some hope. Thanks hun x

 

[Dee1985]

just like me hun Dior never went with out she was cared for and looked after but now its total unconditional love were i miss her so much when im not with her... im glad its different with Harley thou i love him soo much already, i feel like me and Dior really missed out but making up for it now

so glad u feel that special bond now, but we are only human.
we get preg feel sick tired uncomfortable, then go through the worst pain ever giving birth then we get no sleep with a lil baby, its sooo hard to adjust never mind love the lil baby that put us through it lol

 

[beanie]

That's so right, no-one can prepare you for it. I knew things were getting better when she went out for a walk with her nanny. Usually I was happy that she wasn't there and I could have time to myself but now I really miss her and can't wait to see her. Don't get me wrong, I still love my me-time but it seems weird when she isn't around lol. The house seems so much bigger and emptier when she is not there.

 

[Dee1985]

im sure you will be ok 2nd time round, it took me only a matter of hrs with Harley bacause u no what to expect the 2nd time...

glad you are happy, trust me the love gets stronger and stronger as they get older... its scary

 

[hels]

I was quite simlar to you Beanie. Im smitten with Charlotte, but it has got stronger over the last few weeks. I think as we had such a horrific labour (38hrs, dangerously low heart rate, cord around neck 3 times, emergancy c-sec) and i was so Ill after with vomitting and shaking i was in complete shock. Iam ashamed to say that it took me quite some time to be relaxed and confident with Charlotte. It wasnt me who gave her the first feed, or changed the first nappy, i dont even remember the first cuddle because of all the drugs. Just recently i have been feeling really really sad about the birth. I still relive it most days, asking OH questions and trying to fit all the pieces together.
Any Dionne, what im trying to say was that i loved her straight away, but its been recent that i feel i have bonded really well with her. And i would die for her without a seconds thought. she is my total world.

 

[*saulino*]

Hi

i was the same took me weeks to really feel as though i loved Kiara.
everyone was like dont you just love her so much and i never replied but i would never ever live without her and love her to bits now, and i always took good care of her . makes you feel aweful though but i guess its normal?

Katrina

 

[Duds]

Dionne - Do you never sleep or drinking loadsa coffee?!! Iv sust seen what time you wrote ur msg...Cant believe you've only just had another baby & are able to stay up late!
Puts me to shame I was in bed at 9 after Aimee & havent made it past 11pm yet Im very impressed.

oh and Beanie you were up too
Anyway, I felt really guilty about how I felt after giving birth but am quite open about it as I think alot of people feel like that after - especially after the first, I just think alot of people dont admit it because they think it make them a bad mother or something.
I was completely freaked out and also was shaking like mad because of the drugs etc. they put aimee straight onto my chest and all I could think was "GET IT OFF ME" ! I just wanted them to take her away because I was in such pain still as all my pain relief had worn of and they were stitching me up & I was really sick.
About half hour later I thought id better pretend that this baby was the best thing ever as I was worried what people would think.
I didnt want to hold her going back to the ward & was terrified of being left on my own with her as I really didnt know what to do & felt so rough.
I begged Andy not to leave me (but obiously he had too)
Luckly Aimee did not cry much all night but she was pretty poorly & sick all nite which I just left her in i just couldnt focus on a baby when i felt so terrible
come morning I felt a little better & told the nurse she was wet from sick & felt pretty guilty i hadnt done anything - she was drenched through!

Anyway to get to the point it took me about 2 days before I accepted that this baby was mine and I had to look after her but I still didnt feel the love for her everyone seemed to. It took me about a week to start feeling a love connection. Since then all I have wanted to do is look after her best I can & the love definetly grows stronger and stronger.

Your just normal Dionne.
x
ps looking forward to seeing more pics of the little man = you'll have to post some pics of Harley with big sis dior

 

[michelle82]

I thought I would be really emotional the moment I gave birth but think the reality hit me ! The first weeks were so tiring I knew I loved him but honestly felt like I was just babysitting and kept thinking I dont have anyone to hand him back too but as the weeks have gone on what I feel for him cant be described I love him more than I thought I ever would but I did feel bad that in the first weeks I didnt feel that way I think its that you expect to fall in love instantly then when you dont you think your a bad parent!

 

[hearts81]

It took me about a month before i started feeling love for Reece. Before that he was just like something i had to look after. That sounds so bad doesn't it? But now i love him more than anything else in the world

 

[Freya]

This is really interesting!! Before I had my daughter I was scared about how I would feel for her. I was not maternal (as everyone kept telling me) and I thought I wouldn't know what to do!!. BUT I fell in love as soon as I had her I have never felt such strong emotion before and was completely obsessed and overwhelmed it took everyone by surprise how much I bonded with her straight away (that sounds bad really doesn't it).
I am scared this time that I won't feel the same and is it really possible ot love another child as much - a bit ashamed to admit that I guess we will soon see.

 

[K X]

How reassuring I feel now after reading this.

I had a horrendous pregnancy and labour, Rebecca was born a torn face disaster and was for the first month or so of her life. She sleft 4 hours a night for 2 months even then it wasn't 4 straight hours it was broken sleep, and to be honest, I resented her. I was physically and mentally exhausted and didn't want to tell anyone how I really felt.

Then i went to the other extreme, too posessive over her, wouldn't let anyone look after her etc.

I felt at first as though my life was over, and that i was a machine only there to be at her beck and call, cause I still felt young myself (23).

I miss being the party girl I used to be sometimes tho, clubbing every weekend, holidays to Faliraki, and Magaluf, but then again, there is always Butlins!

 

[Dee1985]

Dionne - Do you never sleep or drinking loadsa coffee?!! Iv sust seen what time you wrote ur msg...Cant believe you've only just had another baby & are able to stay up late!

lol i was staying up for harleys last 12am feed, then i got up to him at 5am for his next feed then was out the house at 8am wen to a car boot

but im tired now lol think il try and have a nap...

I am scared this time that I won't feel the same and is it really possible ot love another child as much - a bit ashamed to admit that I guess we will soon see

i felt the same i never said it to any one untill my partner said "i dont think i can love any one as much as Dior" i was so scared we would both favour Dior, but it was nothing like that whan he was born it just felt so right... x x

 

[Rosieroo]

I felt the same as you Dionne - I got to hospital at 1.15am and had Ella at 2.02am. When they put her on my chest I felt amazed and shocked, but didn't have that rush of love. I was more in shock than anything - I was lying uncomfortably on the bed, being stitched up and felt totally out of it (I had gas and air). It just didn't feel real!

I'm totally besotted and in tune with her now, but those first few moments were really weird!

 

[budge]

well with my first baby i fell in love and bonded at first sight.

With my second it took me 18 months . i had the two very close together and i didn't get time to bond with rebekah. I loved her i suppose and i took care of her but i can' say i really took to her. She fell off the settee at my mums house when she was around 15 months old and it was the first pain she had had and it was then i seemed to change toward her and realised she needed me. With my third i loved her straight away.

 

[ToriElla]

I had a bond straight away but i was pretty similar to what you all said - i prefered other people to take her so i could have a break or get stuff done.

after the first 8weeks were over (which i found really hard work) i realised that i love her sooo much i miss her when she is asleep now but i still want her to sleep thanks haha x

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

wen i was pg i was so worried i didnt feel like i loved my baby - everyone on here was llike saying how much they loved bubs etc and i didnt but as soon as i had B even the MW had a fite to get him off me lol

 

[Kim]

I'm so so glad you started this topic Dionne. I thought I was the only one not to fall in love instantly. To be honest I didn't feel any emotions whatsoever, during labour, delivery or after she was born. When they put her on my chest I just felt nothing, all that went through my mind was that she smelled of blood and was all bloody and needed to be wiped. I was that high off drugs and felt that ill, I just wanted to get showered. I think after a shower I would have bonded with her but then I got a blood clot and to be honest the pain was that bad I wouldn't have noticed if she turned into a 3 headed monster.

I was worried about her when I came round and wanted to hold her etc but I was too ill.

It took me a good couple of weeks to bond with her. I couldn't becuase I didn't feel human, I felt more like a robot. It was definatley the hormones.

I am the opposite of most of you though, I wouldn't let anyone look after her at first, not even OH, but now I can leave her for a few hours with a couple of people and don't worry.

 

[michelle82]

I think they should cover this in the books they give you because I honestly expected to fall in love the moment he was born but it was more of a reality check that he was here and what the hell do I do with him now! Sitting on the ward at 2 in the morning after a tiring labour is not the ideal time to bond and Matthew was crying they took him to the nursery in the end! But it should be covered the love might not come straight away and a lot of women feel the same way it can take time esp when you are so tired and overwhelmed

 

[ToriElla]

When they put her on my chest I just felt nothing.

I kinda felt like that too kim. I felt happy and relieved that the labour was all over with and that we were both ok. But when I was pregnant I was watching birth programmes etc and I cried when the babies were born and felt all emotional looking forward to experiencing that feeling.

when she was actually born i didn't cry, I just looked at her and felt tired but remembered thinking that it was surreal that she was real and wriggling and I felt like she was a stranger that I had to get to know. you wouldn't think that you would feel that your own baby was a stranger it's a weird feeling really cos you carry them for so long but have no idea what they look like etc.