How did you feel when you first saw/met your baby?

[Duds]

DH & me have been talking about birth this evening and it got me wondering how everyone felt when they were handed their baby for the first time?
I didnt feel much at all & have to say didnt love her the minute I saw her & all I actually wanted to hold was my sick bowl
I just wanted someone else to look after her.
I wish I did feel differently as I look at Aimee now and just want to eat her up I love her so much, but I was pretty poorly after I had her & just couldnt deal with a baby also.
I really do think your body goes into some sort of shock or something

 

[mdsremos]

due to the emergency C-Section and Charlie being blue and floppy when they got him out I didnt see him for about an hour although DH did and the midwife handed Charlie to me in the recovery room and I remember looking at him and asking whether he was really mine as I just filled with tears and DH was just looking at us with such pride that I fell in love with Charlie there and then.....it was a lovely moment and one I remember well

 

[hearts81]

I felt nothing when I first saw Reece and for many weeks afterwards too. I was dying for the love to hit me and was very scared that it wasn't. I just felt like he was a pet that I had to look after for someone, he never felt like mine.

I too wish I'd felt differently as I love him so much now that it hurts.

 

[Yvanne]

i fell in love with chloe and callum as soon as i seen them, i honestly couldnt stop looking at them

 

[Xena]

I fell in love with Lydia the moment I saw her. I had been so worried previously that I wouldn't bond or be maternal, as I had never really been much of a "baby person", but the minute I saw her I loved her so much. For several weeks afterwards I would burst into tears when I thought about her - not sad tears - happy ones. I was so emotional (in a good way). My hormones went all over the place haha. I was crazy about her though.

 

[Dee1985]

I didnt bother with Dior i held her and made out i loved her but i didnt feel i did. untill day 2 in hospital i was inspecting her body her lil fingers toes and i burst into tears and fell in love from then

Harley in labour i was shouting i didnt want him any more. when he was born i held him once then put him in his cot it was 5am kris fell asleep on the chair the midwife forgot about me i was sat there blood every where harley was asleep in cot the room was dark i sat there for 3 hrs staring at a wall! i was in complete shock. i was sick every where and didnt just not love Harley i felt i hated him i hate admiting that! i hated the pain he put me through and such a fast labour was to much for me to handle i couldnt stop shaking

widewife asked me if i wanted to change him i told her bluntly "NO" i wasnt even ashamed to show how i felt!!!!
few hrs later i fell in love

 

[Xena]

widewife asked me if i wanted to change him i told her bluntly "NO" i wasnt even ashamed to show how i felt!!!!
few hrs later i fell in love

is that, like, a really fat wife? lol

 

Honestly, I felt nothing straight away.

When Damien was born he was taken straight from me and was with the paediatritions for 20minutes, they were crowding round him so much I couldn't even see him. I saw my placenta before I saw him. I missed out on it and I still regret that. I know it was for the best coz he was prem, but I felt like he wasn't mine. He was cleaned up and swaddled and given to me, and I wasn't allowed to undress him and look at him, he had to be kept swaddled. I sat and stared at him all that night till he was taken away again to SCBU a few hours later where I couldn't get him out the cot again, couldn't change him, they fed him, sorted his tubes out, they took over and told me what I could and couldn't do, and even had to stop me seeing him at some times as there were too many people in SCBU. I can understand that, but I felt like I needed to be with my baby. I needed to love him. I used to sit holding him in the rocking chair but I felt numb, I didn't even know what to do. I felt like I was in the way. It felt like he was their baby, I was just the carer and just lived on the ward upstairs.

I cry everytime I think about it. Still haven't got over it. I feel very sad thinking about the fact I should of loved him right away but I just felt numb, and in shock. It took me a very long time to love him deeply, and being in and out of hospital in his early days just made it worse, I felt like I had inflicted all this on him and how could he possibly love a mummy like me. It's only now that he says mumma (well at everyone not just me) and reaches his hands up for me to cuddle him that I realise how much this little guy needs me and loves me. I love him to peices, he is the reason I get up in morning, and he always makes me smile.

I hope I go full term next time so that I have a healthy baby, and so I don't miss out on that initial bonding. I hope I don't go through how I felt again.

 

[hearts81]

Sami

 

Thanks Hazel,

Sorry turned it all a bit depressing didn't I I've never really actually said how I felt about it all and thought it was time to let it out. Sorry for waffling Hope you don't mind.

 

[hearts81]

Thanks Hazel,

Sorry turned it all a bit depressing didn't I I've never really actually said how I felt about it all and thought it was time to let it out. Sorry for waffling Hope you don't mind.

Not at all...though you did make me cry a little. It was very nicely written (if you know what I mean) you have a great way of writing your feelings down.

 

Thanks Hazel,

Sorry turned it all a bit depressing didn't I I've never really actually said how I felt about it all and thought it was time to let it out. Sorry for waffling Hope you don't mind.

Not at all...though you did make me cry a little. It was very nicely written (if you know what I mean) you have a great way of writing your feelings down.

Awww hun sorry for making you cry hun!
I find it easier to write down how I feel than voicing it. I tend to only talk in type, it helps me gets stuff out when I feel poop. Think writing a diary in my teens got me this way, and I still write in one now if I have loads of my mind.

 

[hearts81]

I know how you feel. I cant talk about things to anyone especially since having Reece I've lost ability to talk to all adults

 

[emilia]

I had such an horrendous birth the first time round, I think I did struggle to bond with my son. As a result of that, I got the baby blues reallly bad. I absolutely adore him today!

With Philippa & Oscar, it was love at first sight. Nice straightforward births & I felt that I had the experience too & I knew what I was doing.

I think it's always very hard with first babies. Perhaps we have romantic ideas about having our first, the birth etc. When it goes "bottoms up", we feel that we've let our babies & ourselves down.

Don't worry if you didn't bond with your baby the first moment. It's hard .... I promise you, second time round will be different!

Emilia xx

 

[Rosieroo]

I felt overwhelmed! Didn't believe I was in labour til I was told that I could start pushing, less than 30 mins later Ella was on my chest smelling like a butchers shop and I felt like someone had taken to my lady bits with a rusty pair of scissors (oooooh I'll never forget the stinging and burning). Although I was totally amazed by her, I felt out of it and in shock.

Am hoping that my next labour I will feel more in control!

 

[Kim]

I have to admit I felt nothing too. I just didn't believe she was mine and it did take a while for the bond to start to form. I couldn't tell you the moment I 'fell in love' as it was more gradual

 

[K X]

I clicked sad/unhappy. I didn't want Rebecca anywhere near me, I was exhausted and resented her for putting me thru what I had just gone thru and a hellish 9 months!

To be honest with you all, I didnt truly love her until she was 4 months(ish) when I thought she had died in her cot (she was face down when I woke up) then I realised this little person is MY baby.

I had a touch of PND according to my HV,I did everything a mum should, fed her, changed her, bathed her, she was always clean and looked after but not "loved" from me. There was no bond.

I feel soo guilty now as i feel i have missed out on her, as new borns are just beautiful and I didnt appreciate or enjoy her at all. I feel bad.

Recently I have been going on about having another LO, I think this is just to compensate me being a shit mum to Rebecca when she was a new born. When I heard everyone on here all in love with their babies, I just wasn't like that, I wished I could of been!

 

[kellie80]

With my first i must admit i didn't feel much for the first couple of weeks. I found it quite difficult coming to terms with the pregnacy and didn't think i was in labour for hours. I was just shocked that she was born healthy and normal. I always expected something to go wrong. With Aimee it was love at frst sight. The put her staight on by chest (didn't get that with Jess) and she looked up at me staight in the eyes when she was crying. Never forget that moment!

 

[hels]

I cant remember much at all about it
I cant remember the first hug. Then off she went to SCUBU for 8 hours
She had a bit of tough time, and when she came back to me, i was just puking and shaking so much i couldnt change her or do much of anything.....truth be known, it took me a while to 'connect' with her.
She is my best mate EVER now.

 

[violet-glow]

I put sad/unhappy - I had postnatal depression so didnt take to well to him.
If I could turn back the clock I would. I loves my little man

I had a touch of PND according to my HV,I did everything a mum should, fed her, changed her, bathed her, she was always clean and looked after but not "loved" from me. There was no bond.

Thats what it was like for me aswell chick ..............