Hmmm Homebirth

[Tillytots]

Ive been soooooo adamant up until now that I want a homebirth but after SIL had her little/big girl this morning its set me a thinking...

Should I really be planning a homebirth, I mean Ive never had a baby, I dont know what its going to be like and plus what the hell happens if I have a 9lb 8oz'er like she did?! Everyone keeps on how big I am, and how big my baby will be! I dont want him getting stuck The thought of squeezing that out too makes me close my legs. I measured 10cm across my lady bits and my god its more or less from one leg to the other on Miss Polly Pocket here how is he gonna fit past my leg joints?!

I planed on having only gas and air too....definately no epi... think I may have changed my mind on that one too. I may consider every pain relief know to man.

Im not gonna sweat it, I think I'll just see what I feel like at the time and not set my heart on anything imparticular. After all...as long as baby and me are safe then who cares?!

 

[Suzie and Faith]

hehe, i'm poking my nose in from 2nd tri,
I know what you mean and i've thought the same thoughts. Your midwife will check with you a couple of weeks before and i' sure she'd say if she thought you were going to have problems i.e. huge baby. Lol.

You can also choose to go to the hospital as a last minute decision once early labour has started.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[poppy160]

This probably won't help, but this is my first baby and at first a homebirth sounded really appealing, I'm not too keen on hospitals and the thought of having her in familiar surroundings sounded really good, but in the end I decided against it. The main thing being pain relief..obv as it's my first I have no idea what labour is like or how I'm going to cope, I don't really want an epidural but will have one if I really feel I'm not coping..if things went wrong then our hospital is 10 miles away in another city..if I'm having trouble breastfeeding then in hospital there is somebody there..If I have another one I'd probably go for a homebirth based on my experiences with the first..I'd have more of an idea of how I'd cope etc.

 

[kalia]

I've never had a baby either so take this with a pinch of salt. If you are having a home birth you will manage without an epidural. In hospital, because it is an option, many people take it, but it is perfectly possible to have a baby safely without it. We know this because of the amount of people that do.

Here comes the theory part - because you know epidural is not an option you will look inside yourself for the strength to have baby rather than to the epidural. It would be hell but once it is over it will be finished, you will forget quite how bad it was and there will be no extra side effects. If you have the epidural there may well be side effects, not least the fact your legs may be numb afterwards so going for a shower or a bath may be a struggle or delayed (I'm assuming). These may cause negative memories that will last longer as they will be clearer.

I'm going to hospital because I live in a flat. I never hear my neighbours but I don't think I could guarentee they wouldn't hear me If the time comes and I decide I can't cope I may well choose and epidural but at the moment I hope I don't. There are situations in which I think it would be a good idea - principally if the labour is very prolonged. If you've been in labour for 24 hours I would say take it. But you could be transferred to hospital.

 

[Tillytots]

here were my reasons a few weeks ago...

Im planning a homebirth for a first time as I dont plan on anything going wrong. Im not scared about giving birth one bit - its completely natural. Yes you can argue that no-one plans for things to go wrong but in the invent that anything should I can be transfered to a hospital. If things do go wrong in first time Mums they tend to do so in a very slow manner so there would be plenty of time to asses the situation. I could be transfered for slow progress in labour or in an emergency I would also be transfered but no time will be lost in this as even if I was at hospital it would take them 30mins to prepare for an emergency c-section....and they would be ready for when I got there which would be 20mins.

I dont see how it matters whether you have had no babies or 8 tbh...every single birth is different so you couldnt possibly know if it would be low risk or not.

As for pain relief, Im fully prepared for it to hurt like hell but pain never killed anyone! No-one NEEDS an epidural. Its a few hours of almighty pain....and with each passing contraction Il be nearer to my baby and thats what will get me through. You can laugh at me if you like but Im sure my outlook and attitude is going to help me immensely through birth.

I feel very strongly that birth is natural. As soon as you step into a hospital you become a medical case. You have to fit into their schedule and things arent allowed to progress naturally. In my eyes its all very wrong and so many people have horrid experiences when it is completely unecessary. I will be so much more relaxed at home and I can do things in MY time.

On the other hand there are people like missjennipenni who without hospital treatment would've lost their babies but these cases are very rare.

Up until about 30years ago everone had their babies at home, my family did and they back me 110%

ETA: Also with a homebirthyou have much more choice...you can decide to labour at home and then deliver at hospitalright at the last minute whereas if you're stuck in hospital you cant say "ok Id like to go home now please"

I dunno, I just feel a bit different today, like I dont want to rule anything out or set my heart on something and then if I cant have that make the whole experience crap for myself because things arent going how I planned.....Knowing me I'll probably be back on the idea of homebirth again tommorrow and saying NO WAY to and epi I really dont want one tbh....I think it would make me feel awful but you never know!

 

[Strangeness]

On your first I would just be totally open minded as to what you want. If you want a homebirth hun then great but don't set your heart on it 100% because things can happen and it can get you down after if things don't go exactly your way. I set myself on a natural birth without pain relief apart from gas and air and it ended up totally the other way! I ended up with a c section and every drug going I was so disappointed with myself after because it was nothing like I had planned but that's birth for you! This time I am totally open minded and will see how it goes. I also set my heart on breastfeeding but that didn't happen either due to no milk and I beat myself up over it for ages when there was really no need! Whatever way your baby comes it will be perfect because you'll have this beautiful little baby looking back at you and knowing your it's mummy is a huge deal! I look back at my last birth and think well it didn't go to plan but I have this gorgeous little boy and it really didn't matter how he got here or what drugs I had, you don't win a medal for any of it but you have got a gorgeous baby and they don't mind how they get here just as long as your their mum!

 

[Natural mamma]

I've never had a baby either so take this with a pinch of salt. If you are having a home birth you will manage without an epidural. In hospital, because it is an option, many people take it, but it is perfectly possible to have a baby safely without it. We know this because of the amount of people that do.

Here comes the theory part - because you know epidural is not an option you will look inside yourself for the strength to have baby rather than to the epidural. It would be hell but once it is over it will be finished, you will forget quite how bad it was and there will be no extra side effects. If you have the epidural there may well be side effects, not least the fact your legs may be numb afterwards so going for a shower or a bath may be a struggle or delayed (I'm assuming). These may cause negative memories that will last longer as they will be clearer.

I'm going to hospital because I live in a flat. I never hear my neighbours but I don't think I could guarentee they wouldn't hear me If the time comes and I decide I can't cope I may well choose and epidural but at the moment I hope I don't. There are situations in which I think it would be a good idea - principally if the labour is very prolonged. If you've been in labour for 24 hours I would say take it. But you could be transferred to hospital.

These are very wise words from one not given birth....YET

It is so true.....i had my first in hospital i was single then and it was almost 13yrs ago now And homebirth was very rare.....The thing i remember most is the confusion and distraction...i never seemed to have the same person check on me twice it made me feel really vunreable and that everything was out of my control.....i know things have changed alot since then....but have they ad mist this N.H.S maternity crisis.

I have felt in total control with my Homebirths and have loved it...it is the most empowering thing in the world....Talking to other women...it seems to me that they hurry birth in hospitals instead of letting it take its natural course...oh you've been pushing long enough now love...lets cut it out....That would never happen at home...and your less likely to be doped up the eyeballs and actually manage to push the baby out unaided.

When i get to the pushing stage i think right one push big and long and panting for the head....and there it is out then i think right next one shoulders...and one wee one for the body......i MAKE myself do this and it has taken me less than 10mins to get every baby out (all 9lb ish)...i have lots of friends who have had bigger babies and use a similar visualization.

If i were you i'd keep an open mind...labour at home as long as you feel able too and then move to hospital if you feel like it. (you can have pethidine at home)...and the midwife will know if you need help...and you'll know it even more before she does....trust me...

 

[Tillytots]

thanks girls - Im just having a funny ol' day- I know I can do it....

 

[Kylie1007]

You can't be too militant about anything - keep an open mind. I had my first baby at home (and I was adamant I DIDNT want a home birth but things just happened quicker than expected) and it was fab. I didn't miss the epidural, the midwives had gas and air in their car and we didn't have to worry about visiting hours, MRSA etc! I think that if I had been in hospital I would have asked for the works when it came to pain relief.

 

[GBLiz]

bear in mind, if you're planning NOT to have an epi, by the time you start screaming for one chances are it'd be too late anyway!!!!!

 

[Sherlock]

I have these days also. But I tend to come back to the homebirth option if all goes well.

I think what others have said have been wise words and all things to consider.

Personally, this being my first baby I am nervous also. I'm 37, a bit overweight with a heart murmur and a few other things going on, but still hope to have a home birth regardless.

However, I've not ruled out a hospital birth at all. Just I wish to pursue the homebirth option as my first choice. I am fully prepared to have a hospital birth if there is a problem and a homebirth is not going to be able to happen, or if I try to start off at home but feel I would rather transfer later on to hospital. Same if the MW says she thinks I need to transfer and why. I will listen to the person who knows best in that situation.

I remind myself of all the reasons why I opted for a homebirth in the first place and yes, while the thought of the pain does worry me, I also think that it is something that, providing the birth is within 'normal' realms, I feel capable of coping with and managing on gas and air and breathing techniques etc. I think being at home will be less stressful for me and I won't have the nagging worrying my head about the possible intervention if things don't go quick enough. MW's for homebirth are used to labour taking as long as it takes and provided there is no distress to Mum or LO, they can cope and baby arrives when s/he is ready.

I feel confident that not having an epi available won't make things worse. Mentally the battle is half won in my head because I'll be where I want to be, in my own time, in a personal setting and letting nature take its course. Feeling happy and comfortable with where you choose to give birth is a big thing I feel. I've never felt happy with the idea of a hospital birth so this makes sense to me.

Also I consider that I've read many birth stories since becoming PG. And while I've read some good, some bad and some truly worrying/frightening hospital birth stories, I've yet to read about a terrible home birth. Yes, they can be hard work, yes it will hurt, but no one seems to have come away distressed by their experience at home. Women do get transferred to hospital if need be, but that does not make their homebirth experience up to that point a bad one, if anything they have remained positive about it. Some appear to have been far from happy with their care in hospital. Be it before, during or after.

I also like that 2 MW's will be in attendance in the final stages. No rushing out and leaving me to it for a while. No having my OH sent home overnight, he'll be right there with me for as long as it takes.

So I weigh up the pros and cons and for me the pros outweigh the cons by far, but I accept that I may yet end up in hospital due to circumstances, but I at least want to give it my best shot at home.

FWIW about a large baby, my MW assured me she had seen big babies delivered at home. She also said that trying to birth a small baby can be as hard work, if not more so as there was less to push against and so on. She said that good positioning and opening your hips makes all the difference. Umm she said a few other things also but I'll spare you those details

Umm yes, I'll shut up now

 

[Sherlock]

..if things went wrong then our hospital is 10 miles away in another city..if I'm having trouble breastfeeding then in hospital there is somebody there..

Just a couple of things as have been explained to me re transfer times to hospital etc as I live 30 minutes from my hospital, I worried about this also. My MW explained that if I needed an emergency C section it would take on average 30 minutes for them to be ready in the theatre of the hospital. About the same time it would take to transfer me in an ambulance. The woman in the hospital would still have the same wait time as me en route. Go figure.

For other problems she has said, espcially in first time labour that things happen more slowly as a rule and picking up on potential problems is usually earlier on, before things get to a point where anyone is in real danger.

Also homebirth MW's I am told make the call sooner rather than later. If they feel there is a reason to move you, they do so. I've read the reports and the stats and feel I am no worse off at home than in hospital. There is nothing to really indicate that a homebirth is any less safe than a hospital one. And if the pregnancy has been straightforward and so on, a homebirth is a viable good option for women if they wish it. So says my MW

And as I understand it after giving birth, one of the MW's will remain for a while, a few hours, to ensure all is well and baby is feeding etc. My MW has then said she is on call if I need her and will visit regularly to make sure all is going ok and be on hand if I need help. In some ways I feel this is better than hospital where I may discharged before the end of the day I give birth on.

It's not for everyone, but homebirth is not as risky as people might think. I worried about so many things, but having read up and researched and talked to MW, a friend who is a GP and mum of 4 and a few other people, I feel happy with what I have learnt about hospital and home birthing, to be as informed as I possibly can be about both options.

 

[GBLiz]

sherlock im exactly same as you- while im planning a homebirth, im mentally prepared to be rushed into hospital if anything went wrong, my hospital is also 30 mins away.

youve got to do whatever makes you feel happiest with your decision- for me as soon as i found out i could have a home birth it was a MASSIVE weight off my mind so i feel sure of my decision...but if you are worried about it , then maybe its not for you. How would you feel if you were booked in at the hospital? better or worse??

 

[Tillytots]

Im over my panic now

I'll be much better at home. Today is the first and only time I've ever questioned my feelings on homebirth...not bad considering I just want my baby to hurry up! Im bored already of waiting. Only 8-9 weeks until Im good for a homebirth

 

[GBLiz]

lol thts ok then

are you buying anything like plastic sheets to put down ?

cos im possibly not going to see my home midwife til im actually in labour i have no idea what preparations to make !

 

[Sherlock]

are you buying anything like plastic sheets to put down ?

cos im possibly not going to see my home midwife til im actually in labour i have no idea what preparations to make !

Erm here is my shopping list

Plastic sheeting (not masses, just one or two pieces in case)
Plastic undersheet or disposable large pad (like the big bed squares) for bed or wherever I birth, to go under me.
Towels
Sponges and bowl

After a bit of discussion with others I also added

Bowl/bucket incase am sick
Water spray for face
Torch (yes, it'll be like mining )
Knickers, pads/towels etc for after

Plus hospital bag to be ready

Other things I already have in the house, so will ensure are around. Ice cubes, warm socks, flannels, mirror.

Hope that helps

 

[Sophie1102]

I had my second at home and the midwife brings everything that is needed, big plastic sheet and those large pads that soak up fluid, the same as what you would sit on in hospital. They have to have all of this as they take the placenta away with them too, and they obviously have gas and air, pethodine, doppler etc.

I would never consider having anything other than a home birth now, I planning on it happening in the lounge, where there is lots of space for me to wonder and I have a toilet downstairs, I can have the telly on and get food/drink from the kitchen, I'll have my birthing ball and a chair, anything to stop me lying down!!!

Just like natrual mumma I focus on each push and it really doesn't take long for baby to come out, took me only 10 mins of pushing to get her out, and yes I have also heard that bigger babies are easier to get out as they help.

 

[Tillytots]

that makes sense about the bigger babies...SIL took 40mins to push her baby out, not bad for a first baby and she had an epi

Here is my shopping ist for homebirth....mostly crap that I want..not what I NEED as such. Im going to get everything arranged though so OH can just pass me things instead of me having to try communicate with him to get them

Towels - lots of these
*Plastic Sheeting
*Birth Pool - with all accesories ie. pump, hose, etc etc
*Sieve - for pool....to remove any debris, although some kits come with this included
*Water spray - for my face
*Fluffy Socks - incase my feet are chilly ( I know Im at home but I want it all there ready so I can just point to things and OH can pass them)
*Freezer full of ice - for sucking and whatever'ing
*Music
*A Desk Lamp - this is for midwife to do examinations and so she can see with concentrated light. I brought mine in Woolworths a few weeks ago for £2.98! Bargain for my Fanny Lamp A torch will work too but I thought it may feel a little odd someone shineing a torch down there...may as well get a bloody miners helmet!!
*Essential oils? This is a maybe...I never usually use them but smelling something nice might be of use and Il have to check out whats ok and useful for labour. Failing them fragranced candles
*Sponges - nope not for my craving this time LOL!! But for cooling my face or using on lady bits with warm water for when babies head is crowning...Ive seen them do this on birth videos and its supposed to help ease 'the ring of fire'
*Cake - for afterwards with a cup of tea
*A bowl for water - warm or cold water
*A bucket - to be sick in....just incase. Id rather not kill my carpet
*Hospital bag on standby!! Important one
*Mirror to watch baby crowning (if you want to) - I think I might

thats about it

 

[trixipaws]

hey,
i had a home birth for my first, with only gas&air, and was fine. and i kno its daunting measuring 10cm but i was fine, and im really tiny with very narrow hips. my girl friend too just gave birth to an 8lb 11oz boy and she's 5'0" and 5st 10! dont let fear put u off if u got ur heart set on a HB

 

[muppetmummy]

Don't worry, if they were worried about babys size it would be picked up in the weeks leading up to the birth and they would advise you to go to hospital.
I had James in hospital and really wasn't impressed with the attention I received there, I spent most of the labour alone cos the midwives were too busy
I don't think there are any drugs you can't have at home apart from the epidural, which isn't all good as it means you're stuck in bed after the birth with a catheter and run the risk of backache once it's worn off.
You'll be fine at home. I would have loved a homebirth myself but OH wasn't happy about it