Help for a farther to be.

[Cagarner]

Ive been with my girlfriend for 5 months and have found out 4 days ago that she is now 5 weeks pregnant. Now we were planning to have children later (in a few years after marriage and house) but this little miricle has poped up early. Oh yea, i'm 22 and she is 21!

Now I have never had to look after a baby before and only held a baby about 3 times, but i'm a quick learner. I am now trying to research stuff as much as possible. I just want to know if anybody had any advise for the male side of things, as nearly everything i find is written for the mother. A woman's perspective on the male role would be interesting too.

Also I have a very analytical approach to things and have an A Level in Biology so you don't have to spare the details.

I just want to be the best father I can be.

Thanks

 

[star fish]

Aw bless you! At this stage the only thing you really need to be worrying about is making sure your girlfriend is kept happy and comfortable. She will feel emotional and need lots of hugs and support from you. Make sure she eats healthily and doesnt drink or smoke, REALLY IMPORTANT at this stage. x

 

[BabyBrain]

There is a bloke's room here. Also my OH is going to Dad to Be classes at our local maternity unit, they might run them near you too. And he's going to baby and toddler first aid too when they start which is run from our gp surgery.

I would say one good source of info is your mum....ask her what she wished your dad had done to make her pregnancy easier.

Congratulations to you both, and well done you for the positive attitude xxxxxxxxxxx

 

[leannesxb]

Wow there isn't many of you around!! Well done for being so pro-active and positive. You will obviously make a excellent daddy. She will just mainly want you to be there and be sensitive. PLEASE think before you speak. Hold her hair back if she is sick. Rub her back when she has backache and her feet when they are sore. Be prepared to go out at all hours of the night if she craves something no matter how silly it is. Wipe away her tears when she cries and remember to tell her she is gorgeous even if she looks horrendous. xxxxxxxxxx

 

[jomc]

Well done for asking for advice
I cant recommend anything more than what the girls have said, except my hubby read a book called Pregnancy for Men and he loved it. Its light hearted but actually really informative.
See if ur hosp do the daddy classes. U will also be entitled nearer her due date to some NHS ante natal classes.
If u can afford it, u could also do the NCT ante natal classes. Im starting mine next week and theres about 6 in total but they do alot of woek with the dads as well

 

[flexilexi394]

another female here but im the same age as you!! haha my baby is now 9 months old. my partner was very hands off in my pregnancy and i hated it! so er, dont do that! haha good luck x

 

[l_maclean]

asking for advice from other folk is always good.

One bit is most of the ladies on here seem to have been driven mad by OH's at different points - so be prepared for some mood swings - and dont yell back if she's screaming at you for something really stupid. It honestly is the hormonones - thats not just an excuse. lol
xxx

 

[Sarah13]

The hormones get even worse for a few weeks after birth so be prepared for that too! Lots of patience and understanding!

 

[kerry5a]

Wow wish my OH was like that! Sounds like you're going to be a great dad! Just give her lots of love, remember she is always right (ALWAYS) and when the moment comes stay calm and be strong, the rest will come naturally without you even noticing.... And congratulations.

 

[BellaRiven]

I'll go with pretty much what has been said already and just a note.......Avoid google like the plague, get yourself a good book and read from there, I believe someone recommended one earlier

And I will say it again well done you for being proactive

 

[Cagarner]

Ah thanks everybody that makes me feel better already.

I already been telling her things that will help her feel more comfortable, like making her nausea better (mints or ginger it seems?). Just left her house as her mum and sister are having drinks (while she is on fruit juice!) so I tidied the house while she was at work before they get there. Its a pitty I dont earn enough to keep taking her out for places.

Talk to my mum? I still need to tell them :-S I'm working up to that, telling my brother soon though.

Hugs are a bit hard at the moment because her breasts are sore now, apparently she had a hard time sleeping. I think she is going to ask her mum but does anybody know any good shops to get Maternity bras from?

 

[kaytee11]

My pregnancy hormones cannot deal with such a level of cuteness. My boyfriend had aready gone travelling by the time i found out, He'll be back soon but till then could i possibly hire you as a support beam ???

But being honest ... you couldnt do much more than doing what your doing now and trying to be the best dad you can be.

 

[BellaRiven]

Bravissimo have been recommended.

And I highly recommentd the sleeping bra's from Mothercare for the night time shift they are amazing

 

[x_PlaceboDanii]

First of all, congratulations . I know its a scary time but hats off to you for the positive attitude. Ill be almost 23 when i have my baby so the age gap there is pretty close, meanwhile my OH will be 26 by the time the baby comes.

All the ladies have said what i pretty much was going to say, like taking care of your girlfriend. Taking over the cleaning (which you've already done) and reassuring her when she's feeling like crap (happens quite a lot in pregnancy!)

And once again, congrats x

 

[Blackroseuk]

I was trying to decide wether to reply now or go to bed and reply tomorrow. I had to write a quick note now as I must say I am very impressed. Guys like you are so rare! And after five mo the especially! How does she feel about the pregnancy? If it's her first she will most likely be freaking out at some point and she may not even show it. As beautiful as this is it can be very scary also. As others have said you are already a great father as yoir attitude and willingness to be a father and help shows. The very fact yoire concerned about helping your girlfriend. Classes will be a plus if you go but make sure she wants to first and that she doesn't want to go alone or with a girlfriend or mother/sister.
The fact that she knows you are happy and staying and thinking about her is all she will need. Congrats and good luck!!

 

[Cagarner]

She is really happy about the pregnancy and yes it is her first. To make our own family is what we both wanted out of our lives, even before we met. I will go to classes with her, though I presume when we go to the doctor they will talk to us about this stuff? We called the doctors and all they said was to come in and fill in a form, which we did and that's all so far.

Yes it is scary, incredibly scary. I sort of wished it had happened later on really...

 

[nikki8092]

Antenatal classes dont start till later on so have a word with midwife about local ones at your next appointment. Hope everything goes smoothly for you both. x

 

[kaytee11]

Im 23 so i get the 'happened later on bit' i still feel like that id say 10 hours of everyday but i think its because im terrified But hey MTV has proven to me the if your 16 and pregnant ur able to do it so im guessing we are Id like to think im a bit more mature that!

 

[mummy2b19]

I bought my other half "a blokes guide to pregnancy" its written for guys by a guy its not only really helpful but it had us both in stitches your girlfriend will find it helpful too I'm 19 and my oh is 23 and we both found it brilliant, I got it for about a fiver from amazon xx

 

[pixie17]

Agree with all the advice on here. Iw ould just say listen to what she wants and needs and be supportive. She will have mood swings and try your best not to bite or get upset about it - it is hormones. If its an issue that still bothers you a day later, bring it up then when she seems able to dicuss it. Telling her she is beautiful no matter how rough she looks (and there will be days she will feel and look rough), the changes in your body can be a bit unsettling first time around and I craved the reassurance from my husband but was upset i had to ask for it. I would also suggest that whenever you are ready to do so, take an active interest in all the things you have to buys (prams, cots etc). Good luck x