Hi all
I don't often post but I just have to because I am so cross and upset!
I am 35 and I am at the end of my 2ww with my second round of IUI.
We have "unexplained" infertility - which makes me soooo cross!
My OH has a son already and his results x 2 came back fine.
All my tests, hycosy etc came back perfect.
Everything is PERFECT apart from NOTHING is working.
So for 15 months we've been trying means 15 possible times and still NOTHING. Not a hint of a line nothing. I have never been pregnant and I just cant see that I ever will!
All the treatment on offer for infertility is basically there to fix a problem which we dont have so how is it going to help??
None of my friends of family have had problems - NONE - all my friends a my sister have just had first or second and I know they will soon have their next ones and I am just being left behing.
Even my OH's son's mum is pregnant by someone she MET AFTER WE STARTED TRYING.
Babies are everywhere and I can't cope. I can't.
Our next step is IVF which (and obvs I could be wrong) I am sure will go swimmingly just like the IUI - perfect sample, perfect follicles, perfect lining of my womb, even my cervix was perfect when they inserted the catheter - which i am afraid will just result in more disappointment...
I have been a mess for this IUI cycle - I feel SO angry and I cry all the time - even in the street, i cant help it.
Its just so unlike me and the whole situation just feels out of control.
We've had all the tests and they are all fine but still the only thing to do is IVF.
If we had a problem, I would feel like there is a point, but if everything is perfect then how is "treatment" going to help.
The whole process is destroying me and I can't get away from feeling like this.
My nephew is one in two weeks time and I even mentioned to my mum about not going because we will be the only people not bringing a baby - and if I am like i am at the moment, i wont be able to put on a brave face because my emotion will get on top of me.
It shouldnt be this hard unless there is something to fix and then I would put everything in to treating that problem. But when the problem hasn't been found then really what is the point.
I emailed an old family friend who i knew had been trying for ages and now has a baby hoping that maybe her story would make me feel better but she told me she tried fo 4 years without tests and finally get clomid (before any blood tests etc) and got pregnant on second cycle so she clearly wasn't ovulating and clomid sorted it. Where she had 2 chances, I have had FIFTEEN.
I don't know what to do with myself - I can't pull myself out of this really horrible place.
Sorry everyone - a totally negative post.
I know this cycle hasn't worked because after 15 attempts you just "know" plus i did an FRER at 11 dpo (yesterday) and it was as white as white could be. When i phoned the clinic and asked a nurse if i could stop the progesterone she said it was to early and to test tomorrow and that advise has made me angry too because I just want to accept another failure without false hope.
Where does anyone go from here - i have loads of friends and great family and an amazing boy friend but I feel a million miles away from them all and I am SO cross with them and with the universe.
Sorry again xx
I don't often post but I just have to because I am so cross and upset!
I am 35 and I am at the end of my 2ww with my second round of IUI.
We have "unexplained" infertility - which makes me soooo cross!
My OH has a son already and his results x 2 came back fine.
All my tests, hycosy etc came back perfect.
Everything is PERFECT apart from NOTHING is working.
So for 15 months we've been trying means 15 possible times and still NOTHING. Not a hint of a line nothing. I have never been pregnant and I just cant see that I ever will!
All the treatment on offer for infertility is basically there to fix a problem which we dont have so how is it going to help??
None of my friends of family have had problems - NONE - all my friends a my sister have just had first or second and I know they will soon have their next ones and I am just being left behing.
Even my OH's son's mum is pregnant by someone she MET AFTER WE STARTED TRYING.
Babies are everywhere and I can't cope. I can't.
Our next step is IVF which (and obvs I could be wrong) I am sure will go swimmingly just like the IUI - perfect sample, perfect follicles, perfect lining of my womb, even my cervix was perfect when they inserted the catheter - which i am afraid will just result in more disappointment...
I have been a mess for this IUI cycle - I feel SO angry and I cry all the time - even in the street, i cant help it.
Its just so unlike me and the whole situation just feels out of control.
We've had all the tests and they are all fine but still the only thing to do is IVF.
If we had a problem, I would feel like there is a point, but if everything is perfect then how is "treatment" going to help.
The whole process is destroying me and I can't get away from feeling like this.
My nephew is one in two weeks time and I even mentioned to my mum about not going because we will be the only people not bringing a baby - and if I am like i am at the moment, i wont be able to put on a brave face because my emotion will get on top of me.
It shouldnt be this hard unless there is something to fix and then I would put everything in to treating that problem. But when the problem hasn't been found then really what is the point.
I emailed an old family friend who i knew had been trying for ages and now has a baby hoping that maybe her story would make me feel better but she told me she tried fo 4 years without tests and finally get clomid (before any blood tests etc) and got pregnant on second cycle so she clearly wasn't ovulating and clomid sorted it. Where she had 2 chances, I have had FIFTEEN.
I don't know what to do with myself - I can't pull myself out of this really horrible place.
Sorry everyone - a totally negative post.
I know this cycle hasn't worked because after 15 attempts you just "know" plus i did an FRER at 11 dpo (yesterday) and it was as white as white could be. When i phoned the clinic and asked a nurse if i could stop the progesterone she said it was to early and to test tomorrow and that advise has made me angry too because I just want to accept another failure without false hope.
Where does anyone go from here - i have loads of friends and great family and an amazing boy friend but I feel a million miles away from them all and I am SO cross with them and with the universe.
Sorry again xx