Grr. OH and BF'ing

[saralou5]

Does anyone elses OH moan about you wanting to BF your bab? Everytime I mention it he starts whinging and whining at me about him wanting to feed him and how it's unfair...UNFAIR!!?? How is it unfair that I want to do what I think is best for our baby? I'm hoping to exclusively BF and don't want to have to bottle feed unless I have to because BF doesn't work for us. I've tried telling him not to worry about bonding with baby because he gets to do everything else with him still but he doesn't seem to understand. I've also told him that it might not even work and his reply was 'Well then at least I'll get to do something with OUR son.'. I mean seriously. Wtf. We've never had a problem before, we don't argue and now suddenly it's like I'm taking the baby away from him! Am I doing something wrong? Am I being selfish? I don't know what's changed in him, whether it's stress or something but this is totally out of character. Urgh. Rant over.

Sorry for the whinge ladies. Grr.

 

[katie_lou]

Can't you express milk into a bottle so he can feed him ? X

 

[Em91]

At the end of the day BF is the best thing for baby so he should be pleased you're doing what's best for his son! Would you want to express after a few weeks? in which case he could feed breast milk.

Either way there is plenty he can do like changing, bathing etc. x

Using tapatalk so excuse the typos!

 

[cosmicgirl]

I wish I'd had your problem! When I was bf the twins, up all bloody night, oh would just sleep all night, snoring! His excuse was "well I don't have breasts!".
As soon as they cried they'd be passed to me, "in case they need feeding"!!
It was great for him!
I think your oh is feeling a bit jealous but at least he's stepping up and wanting to help. He does need to realise he's being a bit of a dafty though x

 

[saralou5]

I'm trying to avoid using bottles for the first couple of months. Just a personal choice but I've told him that's what I want to do from day 1 .

 

[CARNAT22]

Breastfeeding is just short term and I think your OH needs to be a bit more understanding. Breastfeeding is the best thing for bub and his personal feelings sadly ren't what counts here!

I've explained to my OH that I don't even want to express for the first few months so I am going to be doing 100% of the feeds, OH is fine with this and knows he will be involved with all the other stuff. I would explain to your OH how important hsi role is going to be but also stand firm on what you want to do.

Is there anyone else that can maybe approach this with him? I am not sure how appropriote it would be but maybe his Mum or sister could have a word?

I hope your OH comes round hun!

xxxxxxxxxx

 

[cosmicgirl]

Don't use bottles if you want to bf, especially not at first, it messes with baby's latch and can confuse x

 

[saralou5]

Breastfeeding is just short term and I think your OH needs to be a bit more understanding. Breastfeeding is the best thing for bub and his personal feelings sadly ren't what counts here!

I've explained to my OH that I don't even want to express for the first few months so I am going to be doing 100% of the feeds, OH is fine with this and knows he will be involved with all the other stuff. I would explain to your OH how important hsi role is going to be but also stand firm on what you want to do.

Is there anyone else that can maybe approach this with him? I am not sure how appropriote it would be but maybe his Mum or sister could have a word?

I hope your OH comes round hun!

xxxxxxxxxx

At least your OH understands lol. His Mum just sat there while I was telling him this. Hopefully he'll come round. Thanks for the advice . Really appreciate it. Stressing me out. Xxx

 

[saralou5]

Don't use bottles if you want to bf, especially not at first, it messes with baby's latch and can confuse x

I've told him this too. But still he whines lol. Hopefully he'll appreciate all the sleep he'll be getting! Xx

 

[cosmicgirl]

He'll be more than happy when he gets a full night sleep while you're up feeding - believe me! x

 

[kanga86]

my dh isn't complaining about this at all, he is just happy it doesn't interfere with his sleep! I just hope he is willing to do other things for lo xx

 

[saralou5]

Thanks for all the replies ladies . Hopefully he'll come around once he realises he gets the sleep that I don't get lol. Just annoys me that he's trying to make me feel guilty. Xx

 

[becciboo26]

Trust me after the first couple of bottles the novelty seems to wear off for the daddies lol!

Sent from my HTC Wildfire S A510e using Tapatalk 2

 

[Hayley1608]

i understand where your coming from. When we had the breastfeeding discussion we decided not to go with it for our own personal reasons. Looking back i think with the next one i would like to at least try.

But DH did bring up that he would like to feed S. Feeding is the main thing that develops attachment so i can see why he is concerned. Maybe he is just worried about that? Which really if you think about it however annoying it is for you it is actually quite sweet!

I hope BF goes well for you

 

[saralou5]

Yeah I understand he might be worried about the whole bonding thing. But it's not forever and he gets to do other stuff . Hopefully he'll chill a bit lol. Xx

 

[Karate Kid]

Hope he comes round to the idea Hun, it can't be easy when you don't agree. Have you tried pointing him in the direction of some info on the benefits of BF? x

 

[MelissaLindley]

My OH is completely the opposite, i wasn't keen on BF and he's the one who's talked me into it!

 

[TaffyRose]

I would definitely say try bf if that's what you want to do. I'm loving bf and my OH understands it's great for me and the baby. He is looking forward to me expressing later down the line, but I can definitely say it hasn't hindered my OH bonding he's besotted with our little man xxx

 

[Daydreaming]

I go to NCT classes and the teacher said a lot of men feel jealous they cant breast feed. She pointed out though that there is sooooooooo much more that a man can do: not just the changing of the nappies, but trying to calm them when they cry, skin to skin cuddles, naps together, reading stories (a bit later but do start early), bath time (a big bonder apparently), singing etc.

She said men who take this active approach will often find later when their kids are bigger they will refer to dad as the fun one and mum as the one who does the cooking and looks after them. Who doesn't want to be a "fun" dad!!!?

Tell your "OH to man up"

 

[saralou5]

Haha! I whapped out the BF'ing statistics and also explained to him about all the other things he can do with our boy. I'm hoping that once he's arrived he'll realise there's much more than just feeding the baby, because that worries me a little that he thinks that's all there is lol!
Fingers crossed he realises how silly he's being as well and apologises for making me feel like I was doing something wrong. It won't take him long haha! He's usually fairly good at realising when he's been a gonk.


Thanks for replying ladies, appreciate all the advice . This is why I love this forum haha!