Going private
- Thread starter Peony1
- Start date
Hello my lovely - firstly just wanted to say I'm sorry you are having a tough time. It's a drag sometimes isn't it! BUT, we press on!
I have had a few tests that I actually arranged through a local holistic fertility consultant, I had MTHFR, vitamin D, and all the thyroid tests (including the ones they don't always do under the NHS) so TSH, T4 and T3 and Reverse T3. I've also had progesterone done.
MTHFR was the more expensive one - that cost £180 Reverse T3 was £100 or so and the others weren't too bad at all.
I am also awaiting an appointment with Dr Quenby in Coventry who is one of the specialists I've heard rave reviews about but that is for repeat miscarriage so not the same possibly as what you are looking for? If you approach your local IVF clinic they often offer a lot of these additional tests but you kind of have to know what it is you want but hopefully the list above will help! Also, there is Dr Sherhata on Harley street. Some of them also do a 3D scan to see if there are any abnormalities of the uterus that a standard scan wont pick up, like a septum. I hope this helps!! Good luck xx
I have had a few tests that I actually arranged through a local holistic fertility consultant, I had MTHFR, vitamin D, and all the thyroid tests (including the ones they don't always do under the NHS) so TSH, T4 and T3 and Reverse T3. I've also had progesterone done.
MTHFR was the more expensive one - that cost £180 Reverse T3 was £100 or so and the others weren't too bad at all.
I am also awaiting an appointment with Dr Quenby in Coventry who is one of the specialists I've heard rave reviews about but that is for repeat miscarriage so not the same possibly as what you are looking for? If you approach your local IVF clinic they often offer a lot of these additional tests but you kind of have to know what it is you want but hopefully the list above will help! Also, there is Dr Sherhata on Harley street. Some of them also do a 3D scan to see if there are any abnormalities of the uterus that a standard scan wont pick up, like a septum. I hope this helps!! Good luck xx
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Thank you I will look into those tests.
Strange youve said about a holistic consultant as Ive been reading today about the holistic approach and in particular Zita Wests advice. I might see about getting some of her books.
I have a follow up appointment with our nhs fertility consultant in August so Ill see if they have any advice on local private specialists. Im not sure what this appointment will be about, other than to keep our names in the system!
Strange youve said about a holistic consultant as Ive been reading today about the holistic approach and in particular Zita Wests advice. I might see about getting some of her books.
I have a follow up appointment with our nhs fertility consultant in August so Ill see if they have any advice on local private specialists. Im not sure what this appointment will be about, other than to keep our names in the system!
MoominGirl
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Although I haven't got any personal experience of private testing, I thought I would share some of the things we considered and our reasoning which will hopefully be helpful. From your sig, it looks like you're around the frustrating 18 month mark and if I recall correctly from your previous posts all your NHS tests were normal (sorry if that's wrong).
There are so many different tests out there and I totally agree with 1stimer in that you really know what you want which I appreciate is so much more difficult if the tests so far haven't uncovered any problems. First thing I would think about is where you are in the country. We are in the south east so there are loads of clinics within reasonable travelling distance. Travel costs will soon mount up on top. Also, IVF funding varies hugely but is generally very limited. Like most of us, I'm sure there will be a limit to your finances so you will want to choose carefully as you won't want to pay for more tests that come back normal.
We did have issues so would have had something to go on. We decided that we would use our only funded fresh IVF cycle as a but of a learning curve if we had gone ahead with it and it didn't work. Our theory was it would have indicated how our eggs and sperm behaved together. Example being if we had a good egg collection but hardly any embryos, we would have looked at further tests on him (there were issues with his sperm analysis initially). If we made top grade embryos that failed to implant, we would have looked more closely at me (I had a polyp which could have cause implantation issues).
I hope this makes sense. We sort of knew we could have funded 1 fresh/2 FET over the NHS round and that was probably going to be it so we didn't want to sink a big part of that money into more tests that actually didn't give us any more answers. I hope that's helpful.
There are so many different tests out there and I totally agree with 1stimer in that you really know what you want which I appreciate is so much more difficult if the tests so far haven't uncovered any problems. First thing I would think about is where you are in the country. We are in the south east so there are loads of clinics within reasonable travelling distance. Travel costs will soon mount up on top. Also, IVF funding varies hugely but is generally very limited. Like most of us, I'm sure there will be a limit to your finances so you will want to choose carefully as you won't want to pay for more tests that come back normal.
We did have issues so would have had something to go on. We decided that we would use our only funded fresh IVF cycle as a but of a learning curve if we had gone ahead with it and it didn't work. Our theory was it would have indicated how our eggs and sperm behaved together. Example being if we had a good egg collection but hardly any embryos, we would have looked at further tests on him (there were issues with his sperm analysis initially). If we made top grade embryos that failed to implant, we would have looked more closely at me (I had a polyp which could have cause implantation issues).
I hope this makes sense. We sort of knew we could have funded 1 fresh/2 FET over the NHS round and that was probably going to be it so we didn't want to sink a big part of that money into more tests that actually didn't give us any more answers. I hope that's helpful.
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Thanks MoominGirl, yes you remembered right, our tests have come back normal! Its just every month that goes by, I think surely theyve got it wrong or missed something because theres no reason for me not to be pregnant! Were literally doing everything right!! 
My husband is more keen on going private but I think he thinks theyll find something or be a lot better than the nhs! Im not so convinced! If it was up to him, hed pay for IVF now, rather than have to wait another year and a half to get it free on the nhs. Id rather wait, as much as I want to be pregnant right now. Plus obviously theres no guarantees with IVF and I think the disappointment would be so much harder knowing wed thrown over £5000 at it, when we could have waited a bit longer. Im on cycle day 1 today so feeling pretty low
My husband is more keen on going private but I think he thinks theyll find something or be a lot better than the nhs! Im not so convinced! If it was up to him, hed pay for IVF now, rather than have to wait another year and a half to get it free on the nhs. Id rather wait, as much as I want to be pregnant right now. Plus obviously theres no guarantees with IVF and I think the disappointment would be so much harder knowing wed thrown over £5000 at it, when we could have waited a bit longer. Im on cycle day 1 today so feeling pretty low
MoominGirl
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These decisions really are so much harder than they sound especially if you're unexplained as you just have no clue where to start and there's no guarantee additional testing will find anything either. I think the most important thing is to do your research and understand what the results of that test would mean if they find something.
We were the opposite in that it was me who was keener to find more answers whereas OH would have just buried his head in the sand if he was left to it. The more research I did, the more vulnerable I felt as although I'm not denying the positives of fertility treatment, it's such a huge market now with so much potential to exploit vulnerable couples who are desperate for a baby and really will try anything. I did go to the Fertility Show and although there is a lot of hard selling, there's a lot of good seminars where I picked up a bit of useful information. As long as you don't allow yourself to get swept in, I found it was a good starting point. Also, websites like HFEA may give you some idea about how much evidence there is as the clinic offering the tests will only tell you what they want to hear. A lot of this might be aimed at IVF add-ons so might not be relevant at this stage.
It's such a pain you have to wait a total of 3 years for IVF as I think that takes a lot of the control away from you. It's only a year where I am but we did choose to wait longer due to our other issues and in our case it turned out to be the right decision but of course no one has a crystal ball. It's so hard when you just don't know what's coming and another 18 months feels like an eternity. For what it's worth, I actually found it far more difficult emotionally around the 18-24 month point than I did in the time that came afterwards and I really would have tried anything. After that, I developed different coping strategies and was far more accepting so that every decision I made had a purpose as I don't really wan to think about how much money I wasted in the low stage and really didn't achieve anything. CD1 did get easier with time too. Sending big hugs.
We were the opposite in that it was me who was keener to find more answers whereas OH would have just buried his head in the sand if he was left to it. The more research I did, the more vulnerable I felt as although I'm not denying the positives of fertility treatment, it's such a huge market now with so much potential to exploit vulnerable couples who are desperate for a baby and really will try anything. I did go to the Fertility Show and although there is a lot of hard selling, there's a lot of good seminars where I picked up a bit of useful information. As long as you don't allow yourself to get swept in, I found it was a good starting point. Also, websites like HFEA may give you some idea about how much evidence there is as the clinic offering the tests will only tell you what they want to hear. A lot of this might be aimed at IVF add-ons so might not be relevant at this stage.
It's such a pain you have to wait a total of 3 years for IVF as I think that takes a lot of the control away from you. It's only a year where I am but we did choose to wait longer due to our other issues and in our case it turned out to be the right decision but of course no one has a crystal ball. It's so hard when you just don't know what's coming and another 18 months feels like an eternity. For what it's worth, I actually found it far more difficult emotionally around the 18-24 month point than I did in the time that came afterwards and I really would have tried anything. After that, I developed different coping strategies and was far more accepting so that every decision I made had a purpose as I don't really wan to think about how much money I wasted in the low stage and really didn't achieve anything. CD1 did get easier with time too. Sending big hugs.
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Thank you, Ill definitely look into it all more and I hadnt ever heard of HFEA so youve been really helpful xx Good advice about not being swept in too...it could easily happen when were at our most vulnerable... thankfully my husband is quite level headed and would steer me away from the people just out for my money and not my well-being!!
I know, I couldnt believe it was 3 years of trying before we could have IVF - I thought it would be 2 years max. I dont think Id feel as bad if it was 2 years as Id be able to see a possibility of hope ahead, but another year and a half of this seems unbearable!
Im greatful ive come on today and not on a workday as Ive been able to sit in the garden and relax today. Also listened to a brilliant hypnotherapy especially for conceiving on youtube which has helped me relax too. Like you say, its just about finding coping strategies and accepting the situation Im in at this present time. But at the same time, Im a great believer in a good ol cry
xx
I know, I couldnt believe it was 3 years of trying before we could have IVF - I thought it would be 2 years max. I dont think Id feel as bad if it was 2 years as Id be able to see a possibility of hope ahead, but another year and a half of this seems unbearable!
Im greatful ive come on today and not on a workday as Ive been able to sit in the garden and relax today. Also listened to a brilliant hypnotherapy especially for conceiving on youtube which has helped me relax too. Like you say, its just about finding coping strategies and accepting the situation Im in at this present time. But at the same time, Im a great believer in a good ol cry
xx
MoominGirl
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I think communication between the two of you is really important even if the one who is the voice of reason switches between you. I'm generally the level headed one so it was really hard to keep focused with the fertility stuff and stay objective. My poor OH would have just agreed to things if he thought it had any chance of helping as otherwise he was just watching me suffer. It's good if your OH has a level head as it's typically the woman who feels the bigger emotional burden.
I did try some more holistic type things. After getting nowhere other than draining the bank account a little more, I made a deal with myself that if I wasn't gaining enough benefit after a certain amount of time then it stopped. It didn't necessarily mean I had to be pregnant, it could just mean I felt better in myself or something like that. Lots of ladies swear by acupuncture for fertility although it is expensive. I did try it and I'm not convinced it did anything for me but it might be worth a try.
Taking time to be kind to yourself and the hypnotherapy all sound great. I found a good cry was needed sometimes but I found that as I got better at coping, cry sessions just became less frequent. I found over time I just started to accept the situation for what it was and focused more on enjoying life in the present and looking after us as a couple. It was an acceptance I had to reach in my own time and in my own way. No one could have forced me there any quicker so do whatever you need to do that works for you.
I did try some more holistic type things. After getting nowhere other than draining the bank account a little more, I made a deal with myself that if I wasn't gaining enough benefit after a certain amount of time then it stopped. It didn't necessarily mean I had to be pregnant, it could just mean I felt better in myself or something like that. Lots of ladies swear by acupuncture for fertility although it is expensive. I did try it and I'm not convinced it did anything for me but it might be worth a try.
Taking time to be kind to yourself and the hypnotherapy all sound great. I found a good cry was needed sometimes but I found that as I got better at coping, cry sessions just became less frequent. I found over time I just started to accept the situation for what it was and focused more on enjoying life in the present and looking after us as a couple. It was an acceptance I had to reach in my own time and in my own way. No one could have forced me there any quicker so do whatever you need to do that works for you.
