Gender scan Monday - just thrown up!!!

[cosmicgirl]

Hi lynds
Thanks for your questions.
I'll try and explain the best I can although I don't know if I understand how I'm feeling myself.
Yes we did only try again to conceive a little girl.
We did the diet, the shettles timing, geez we only bd'd when the Chinese gender calendar said it would be a girl.
So to conceive another boy felt against the odds and yet I've managed it!
I had no desire to have 5 children, I just wanted a little girl, have done since I had my first 14 years ago.
The thing with this pregnancy that I have struggled with is that it's my last, the dream is well and truly over.
I feel so stupid for a) trying naturally and not having any doubt it would be a girl and b) getting carried along with everyone who told me it was a girl, buying the dresses, planning the pink shower, dreaming of her since my bfp (although I've seen her in my dreams for years).

I'm a bury my head in the sand kinda person. When a bill comes in that I know will be huge, I don't open it, I stick it under the couch and ignore it. I know I'll have to deal with it sometime but I wait until I have the strength.
I suppose that's what I'm doing here.
Get rid of the tickers, cancel the appointments, give myself time to get my head around things.
I really don't want to be a crying unstable person at the midwife!

So it's not that this pregnancy doesn't matter, I have no desire to give this child away and would be devastated if anything went wrong, but for now I need to kinda put it under the couch for a bit, til I can face it with a smile.

I hope that makes some sense.
This baby will be very much loved and added to my collection of beautiful boys.
He will be (as they all are) completely unaware of mummy's dream for a little girl. xxxx

 

[vixxie77]

Aw bless you hun you have me in tears. Once again, I'm so sorry x x

 

[LoopyLouize]

xxx

 

[cosmicgirl]

Thanks girls, feel much better today.
Might even feel ready to make some appointments next week xxx

 

[kra0]

Hope what u said makes so much sense! Bless u cos, I understand it so much more now between what hope has said and how u explained it. Glad you're coping well as can be xxxx

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[LouiseB]

Hiya Cos

Congrats on your little lad

I'm sorry it didn't turn out to be a girl as I know how much effort you've put in trying to make it turn out that way but you'll be alright, lots of girls don't get on with their mum anyway

I don't know why you have to stop at 5, but maybe go all out with IVF and genetic selection and things so it's more of a sure thing if you change your mind xx

 

[Olive]

Hi cos. Just caught up. Sorry you've been having a poo time x


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[Lynds77]

Hi lynds
Thanks for your questions.
I'll try and explain the best I can although I don't know if I understand how I'm feeling myself.
Yes we did only try again to conceive a little girl.
We did the diet, the shettles timing, geez we only bd'd when the Chinese gender calendar said it would be a girl.
So to conceive another boy felt against the odds and yet I've managed it!
I had no desire to have 5 children, I just wanted a little girl, have done since I had my first 14 years ago.
The thing with this pregnancy that I have struggled with is that it's my last, the dream is well and truly over.
I feel so stupid for a) trying naturally and not having any doubt it would be a girl and b) getting carried along with everyone who told me it was a girl, buying the dresses, planning the pink shower, dreaming of her since my bfp (although I've seen her in my dreams for years).

I'm a bury my head in the sand kinda person. When a bill comes in that I know will be huge, I don't open it, I stick it under the couch and ignore it. I know I'll have to deal with it sometime but I wait until I have the strength.
I suppose that's what I'm doing here.
Get rid of the tickers, cancel the appointments, give myself time to get my head around things.
I really don't want to be a crying unstable person at the midwife!

So it's not that this pregnancy doesn't matter, I have no desire to give this child away and would be devastated if anything went wrong, but for now I need to kinda put it under the couch for a bit, til I can face it with a smile.

I hope that makes some sense.
This baby will be very much loved and added to my collection of beautiful boys.
He will be (as they all are) completely unaware of mummy's dream for a little girl. xxxx

thanks Cosmic. I really admire your openess and honesty about all of this, even knowing that as its such an emotive subject you might get some backlash.

I am sure after reading this post if not any of the others everyone will understand the situation a lot more and not make statements like "the baby is healthy isnt it?"

and another positive to take from it all is that not only have you educated woman like me who have never realised the complexities of this condition before, but you may have given strength and comfort to other woman who have been suffering a similar thing but have not had the courage/felt too scared to admit their feelings like you have.

really hope things work out for you soon. x

 

[cosmicgirl]

Hi cos. Just caught up. Sorry you've been having a poo time x


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Thanks lovely x

 

[cosmicgirl]

Thanks lynds xxx

 

[MissJuly10]

Popping in to see how you were doing, glad you're feeling better and thinking of making some appointments.

x x

 

[cosmicgirl]

Hi missj, thanks for popping in.
I'm feeling much better today xx

 

[Hope81]

Glad to hear that you are all better
Cosmic what age are your boys btw?

 

[misscrazycooki]

I do feel for you hun I was hoping for alittle girl this time I know its only my second but I don't feel that I could carry too many more after this one from all the health issues tied with me being pregnant. I had a feeling it was another little boy. I was like you when I first found out with my first he was a boy as really wanted a girl.

Hugs hun. You are a very brave woman my aunty was like you she now has five children 4 boys and one girl. She wouldn't stop till she got her daughter. Nothing to do with you thought but now she has her daughter she doesn't even spend the time with her or anything as she is a little nightmare at 12. xx

 

[lj1984]

I kinda understand how you feel I was young when had my eldest all I wanted was a girl I didnt want anything else I didn't even have boys names! My big sister was having her second same time and was convinced she was having a boy so when she had a girl three weeks before my baby came I thought oh no this must mean I was wrong to be honest I was upset but then when I gave birth I had my girl! I was lucky n I totally get how hard it must be for you. This time in having a little boy and im okay with it would have been happy either way. x x

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[cosmicgirl]

Glad to hear that you are all better
Cosmic what age are your boys btw?

They're 14, 10, 4 and 4 x

 

[cosmicgirl]

Thanks girls x

 

[JJ Mum]

Thats a really lovely spread of ages Cosmic , I think 14,10 and 4 and 4 twins, and so your now littlest man at maybee near 1 in a yearsish time, may need a freind................ watch this space

Glad your feeling brighter hun

 

[cosmicgirl]

Hahaha thanks jj, maybe, never say never.
I would never try naturally again though, I'd need to look at assisted techniques like microsort or PGD xx

 

[cosmicgirl]

Today I ventured to the mw.
Bp was good 100/60, heard the hb and took my urine.
The urine was loaded with baddies -
Leukocytes +++
Nitrates +++
Protein +
Blood (trace)

I'm thinking uti, although I have no symptoms, I hope it's nothing worse.
I have to call the GP tomorrow afternoon as they have sent another sample off for testing. xx