Feeling very down after birth of second child

Discussion in 'Postnatal Questions' started by Nat26, May 20, 2013.

  1. Nat26

    Nat26 Well-Known Member

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    My little girl is just 10 days old and I am very teary all of the time, I was never like this with my son.

    I have barely seen or spoken to my other half since the birth and he is really not supportive or helpful in any way. I don't have any family and although I have friends I haven't seen much of them since the birth.

    I have a toddler that's finding it hard to adjust to not having my full attention and I feel like I'm shouting at him all the time :( I must be really lucky because my little girl just sleeps and barely cries, she has been sleeping a good 6 hours straight at night the past few nights.

    I feel like my pregnancy went so fast I miss being pregnant and the excitement of expecting. I know I shouldn't be feeling so down because I am so lucky to have 2 lovely kids. I don't know how long these feelings are going to last, I am just not enjoying my new baby :(

    Would love to hear from anyone whos been through this and would love to know how long it took them to feel normal again xx
     
  2. CARNAT22

    CARNAT22 Well-Known Member

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    10 days (or thereabouts) is the notorious time for getting the baby blues hun!

    Not everyone gets it - you obviously didn't with your son - but it is when all the pregnancy hormones dissipate and it is so very common to feel horrid.

    It should pass but do keep an eye on things.

    I am sorry your OH is not being helpful hun, why haven't you seen him much?

    I suggest you have a chat with him, explain that you are feeling hormonal and hopefully he'll be able to help.

    Your son is going to take a while to adjust but so are you, just because you have done it once before doesn't mean you're an expert. You have never been a Mummy of two.

    Be kind to yourself, don't expect too much and try not to feel guilty. It won't always be like this and your DS won't remember that Mummy was a bit short tempered for a little while

    xxxxxxxxx
     
  3. Nat26

    Nat26 Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for the reply, I just feel very down and not how I was expecting to feel - I hope it will pass quickly although it is very difficult when you feel isolated and very much alone with two young children.

    My OH is generally not very supportive and hes been ill since I got out of hospital and has not even lifted a finger to help me or see if I'm ok. I've just had to get on with it. I know he is like this anyway so it doesn't really surprise me. Theres no point talking to him he will just think I'm being moany or nagging him to do things.

    Its so hard to look after a baby when you have a toddler crying because hes not getting any attention :(
     
  4. tambo1976

    tambo1976 Well-Known Member

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    I can't really offer any advice but just wanted to send you a hug x

    Some men though eh, just feckin useless. It makes me so mad when I read how some men treat there wives/girlfriends. They don't deserve to be in a relationship let alone be blessed with 2 healthy children. Hopefully you'll find the courage to confront him and explain why you need some support and hopefully he'll have the brains to listen and change his ways before he loses his family to some other man who actually gives a shit xxx

    Tapatalking so can't see sigs or click thanks!
     
  5. Olive

    Olive Well-Known Member

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    I've not got much advice Hun but don't beat yourself up, it's perfectly natural to feel they way after having a baby. Just take each day one day at a time and if you can, try and talk to OH or a friend. And keep talking, don't keep it bottled up. It will get easier. And everyone on here is here for you. Big hugs xx


    Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
     
  6. Nat26

    Nat26 Well-Known Member

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    I seem to have a really useless one that only thinks of himself. The amount of times I have thought I'd be better off on my own - I literally do everything myself anyway. Its no surprise my son is playing up really, all his attention comes from me and of course my time is now shared. My OH is never going to listen, he just says I'm moaning and only care about myself (yeah right!! My kids always come first!) xx
     
  7. Nat26

    Nat26 Well-Known Member

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    Thanks Olive, its nice to be able to come on here and talk about it without being judged. I just really hope I start feeling better soon xx
     
  8. Jolly81

    Jolly81 Well-Known Member

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    Ahh nat, of course I can't really offer you any advice from experience right now other than whenever you're feeling like this just make sure you get on here and "moan" at us!!!!

    My sister had baby blues around 5 days and just didn't understand it, but as Nat said your hormones are all over the place.

    I have a friend who had her son in August and her daughter is 4 and was very naughty when she wasn't getting the attention she was used to- but pretty soon the role of big sister (or big brother in your case) took over and now she feels important because she's older!!!

    Just make sure you don't ever keep any of this to yourself- even if oh wont listen we will!!! Xxx
     
  9. CARNAT22

    CARNAT22 Well-Known Member

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    Do you have friends and family close by hun? People in real life you can talk to?

    xxxxxx
     
  10. Nat26

    Nat26 Well-Known Member

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    I know its really crazy to feel so down when it should be such a happy time. I think I really miss just being pregnant. I was so expecting to go overdue I think it all happened so quick and im still trying to get my head around being a mummy to two!

    Its difficult when you are so isolated with 2 kids, I do have lots of friends ive met since having my son but I dont have any family, they all disowned me when I got pregnant with my son and have been pretty nasty.
    I have just got on with it by my self now for so long, infact the first time I left my son over night was when I was in labour with Grace
     

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