Embarrasing moments of birth

[Vicki & Nathan]

mine was when i was fully dialated they noticed his heart rate had dropped so needed to get him out straight away so they got in a really good looking, young doc who was about 25. he said to me when i got my next contraction to push and when i did this huge wave of water came out soaking him completely from head to toe

 

[paradysso]

during labour, they broke my waters and alana had passed meconium, which is bright green.

well bit later on i was stood next to bed and i sneezed, well the baby moved with the sneeze and sooo much meconium and water shot out of me and covered my legs the floor, the midwife.

i was sooo embarrased, it looked like smile, then the MW cleaned it all up and it happened again.

i wasnt expecting birth to be sooo messy

 

[xrachx]

Here's a picture for you:

I was about two hours off giving birth to Molly. In the labour suit, wearing only a pyjama top and a pair of surgical stockings, I'm on all fours on the bed with by bum in the air, gooey dribble oozing out of me........oh, and I was most probably moaning.......
Some janitor bloke walks in with a cup of tea for OH......boy did he get an eyeful!!

that is so funny these stories are killing me!

 

[Dawnie010]

....And during my 1st birth, I got so fed up of pushing, and I'd just had a shot of pethidine.
Including the gas and air I was starting To feel light headed.
I said to the Midwife " Can I JUST ask-- if I don't push, will this baby come out by itself??"
Her answer " Well, it probably would eventually"
So I said "WELL WHY THEN THE BLOODY HELL AM I DOING ALL THIS PUSHING????"



And a while later , baby's heartbeat dropped, and they had to get the paediatrition in... I didnt realise the panic , as cord was round baby's neck, and paedi was saying 'We better get this baby out quick or its theatre'
I turned to him and said " Oh Hi-- whats your name, have you got kids??? I'm just about to have my first!!"
But then my hubby told me to push as cord was round neck-- so I did and finally baby was born.

 

[Tangerinedream]

....So I said "WELL WHY THEN THE BLOODY HELL AM I DOING ALL THIS PUSHING????"

PMSL thats brilliant

 

[Kayte&Bump]

OMG I think my whole labour was embarrassing.

When I as on the gas and air I started hallucinating and whan the midwife went to do an internal to check how far dilated i was I started laughing, and saying I cant look at you properly to the midwife.What id seen was this giant hand with a little tiny body!!! I also said to my mum and andy can you hear those scousers outside and I was laughing really hard,well there was no one there butn whatever they said i found hilarious! I also askedfor an epidural and when a doctor came in to checkon me. I was convinced she was my friend and I wouldnt let her near me to put a drip in shouting that she was not a doctor and she was a nursery nurse and i was not letting her stick a thing in me!! the thing is she left the room and when she came back in. I repeated it all again not realising id just seen her.


xxxx

the bit about the hand has give me the giggles lol

xx

 

[Red_Fairy]

hahha these stories are brilliant.

When i was very very high on gas and air, i started admitting everything ive ever done wrong to my mum. Telling her that 3 years ago i took magic mushrooms and checked myself into hospital (a secert i wanted to carry to the grave) (the gas and air kinda reminded me of the occasion) Also at one point i just stopped talking for ages...i thought i was answering people, ....in my mind.. lol... i just would eventually answer what id been asked in a fowl tone.. only for OH to say is your hearing ok?? your just ignoring people..

Also the gas and air had to be dragged off me when i started pushing... cos instead of pushing i just kept getting high the midwife had to hold it away from me cos i just kept grabbing it again everytime they took it away. Id gone through 2 tins of the stuff..

i was well and truely a gas and air junkie.

At the very final stages i was so knackered and sore but the bloody midwife just kept repeating her self with "PUSHHH ...1 MORE PUSHHHHH"
she'd said '1 more' about 50 fookin times... i wanted to punch her. I just lost it and started screaming somthing like "IVE PUSHED, I PUSHED THATS ALL IVE DONE!! I CANT DO IT ANYMORE SO JUST SHUT UP FOR FUCKS SAKE"... my OH and mum said it was like i was taken over by a demon.

I also just kept vomiting all over the place.

 

[clairescunny55]

ha ha only just seen this its brilliant

 

[krystal&jack]

this post is brilliant!!

gas and air is fab isn't it! i said a few things to my midwife but don't think i'm half as funny as these stories though.

Midwifes deserve a bloody medal for putting up with all this, bet they'd get more sense if the worked in a mental asylm (sp?)

 

[LaulLaul]

Oh grate,labours painful,and now itz imbarrassing?

 

[libs]

Just replied to the thread about what time did labour start and it reminded me of something - not particularly about labour but the stay in hospital beforehand. I was in quite a while before as I kept going into prem labour, and for some reason they put me in the bed next to the one reserved for woman who came in in labour but not far enough along to go to progress or labour...every night

After about 5 nights of disturbed sleep as women got into heavier and heavier labour beside me I finally lost it one night and told the woman in the next bed (who was really putting on a show - screaming and everything)

"Ok ok you're in labour - but do you really have to brag about it so much? Some of us are trying to sleep.."

A midwife walking past burst out laughing and had to disappear for a minute...the woman shut up. She still wasn't in heavy labour the next morning and went v quietly home....

 

[krystal&jack]

Just replied to the thread about what time did labour start and it reminded me of something - not particularly about labour but the stay in hospital beforehand. I was in quite a while before as I kept going into prem labour, and for some reason they put me in the bed next to the one reserved for woman who came in in labour but not far enough along to go to progress or labour...every night

After about 5 nights of disturbed sleep as women got into heavier and heavier labour beside me I finally lost it one night and told the woman in the next bed (who was really putting on a show - screaming and everything)

"Ok ok you're in labour - but do you really have to brag about it so much? Some of us are trying to sleep.."

A midwife walking past burst out laughing and had to disappear for a minute...the woman shut up. She still wasn't in heavy labour the next morning and went v quietly home....

at least others on here can blame it on gas and air... very funny though

 

[sazzylou]

my labour wasnt too bad. I found the whole thing pretty amusing thanks to the gas and air.]

a doctor came in and his mobile went off and for some reason it CRACKED me up. Like it was the funniest thingid EVER heard. That combined with the fact that my mum kept force feeding me mars bars and lucozade " for energy" meant that i was sitting there laughing, then puking, then finding it hilarious that id puked, so id laugh again, but that would make me puke again, than id laugh.........

I also really wanted my 4 cats there for some reason. I kept crying and shouting that i missed them and " i want my babies! BRING ME MY BAAAAABIIEESS!"

Later on my OH stayed well quiet but my mum was cowering in the corner shouting random things. One was " Push through the pain!" to which i shouted " Oh f*** off! YOU PUSH THROUGH THE F***iNG PAIN!!!"

My poor mum. The mw had to ask her to wait outside because she was stressing me out so much. I felt so bad for talking to her like that.