Embarrasing moments of birth

[Sherry]

I have been in stitches reading some of these. They certainly make me wanna be knocked out this time round Then again I cant wait to see what the hell I do this time. Should be interesting seen as I am having a water birth, might just end up making my own jaquzzi

 

[missac]

firstly when they told me I was 10cm I said "oooh fuck!" the mw just kind of looked at me as P fell about laughing it came as a bit of a surprise!

Secondly I was asking whether I had pooed and the mw said I had, so I was saying "ooh how embabrrasing!" but wasn't actually too embarrassed as it is one of those things, anyway I had to start pushing during this conversation and P was shouting from the sidelines "come on do a really big poo, a really big poo" he meant push it is very hard to push when you are laughing hysterically, it was the highlight of the labour!! (excluding teej being born obviously!!!)

 

[mum2A&L]

me needing a poo, but saying there was NO way i was using a bed pan (its unnatural i think is what i said.. well words to that effect).

mw telling me alice was crowning when some one walks in without knocking!

trying to get adam to have a puff on the gas and air was the funniest

 

[Minxy]

I did the poo thing too

The gas and air made me really high and I was convinced I recognised everybody (strange stuff). When the poor, very young and shy anaethetist came in to do my epidural he found a crazed woman shouting 'Do I know you?', 'I do, I recognise you', 'What school did you go to?', 'What's your sister's name?', 'Where do you live?', 'What uni were you at?'

I vaguely remember him looking terrified and scuttling out as fast as he could

 

[mummykay]

I did the poo thing too

The gas and air made me really high and I was convinced I recognised everybody (strange stuff). When the poor, very young and shy anaethetist came in to do my epidural he found a crazed woman shouting 'Do I know you?', 'I do, I recognise you', 'What school did you go to?', 'What's your sister's name?', 'Where do you live?', 'What uni were you at?'

I vaguely remember him looking terrified and scuttling out as fast as he could

poor boy lmao

 

[Riley's Mommy]

these have made my night lol.

keep them coming

 

[Sherry]

Secondly I was asking whether I had pooed and the mw said I had, so I was saying "ooh how embabrrasing!" but wasn't actually too embarrassed as it is one of those things, anyway I had to start pushing during this conversation and P was shouting from the sidelines "come on do a really big poo, a really big poo" he meant push it is very hard to push when you are laughing hysterically, it was the highlight of the labour!! (excluding teej being born obviously!!!)

OMG its a good job you didnt listen to him, could have been a very smelly baby you would have given birth too
When I am feeling low I am going to read back on these, they really are funny

 

[little*red]

lol been thinking about my labour all day and i actually have a few more:

the gas and air made me feel like their was a rave goin on in my head as all sounds were slowed down (like when your really drunk) but there was some sort of pipe rattling and bird tweeting which sounded like dance music, i kept asking brian if he could hear it and he looked at me like i was nuts .

Also even after my whole "IM DOIN A POO!" fiasco (when i wasnt) the second Evie popped out she crapped all over me and all up the midwife, lol what a nice welcome for mummy eh!

Lastly during the pushing stage i thought it would be a good idea to ask the midwife if she had any children. in my head it sounded like i had just asked her the question normally, but i was later informed by brian that i asked it in a really snappy way as in " do you know what this pain feels like bitch!?" and i felt so bad i kept apologising to the midwife afterwards .

 

[Charlotte & Emily]

lol these are soooo funny


i remember when i was about to push, my stupid ex said 'im going to the toilet' and i said 'well im not waiting for you! lol the mw was laughing
also when i was having an epidural i hit my ex and the mw shouted at me

 

[Sherry]

Lastly during the pushing stage i thought it would be a good idea to ask the midwife if she had any children. in my head it sounded like i had just asked her the question normally, but i was later informed by brian that i asked it in a really snappy way as in " do you know what this pain feels like bitch!?" and i felt so bad i kept apologising to the midwife afterwards .

 

[mum2A&L]

these two are kinda after birth,

A nurse showed me where the loo and bath was. she ran me a lovely bath, and asked if i wanted to 'spend a penny'. I had NO idea what this meant, and for some unknown reason, just cracked up laughing at her. Luckly she found the funny side.

when i was in the bath, someone from the ajoinng room walked in on me their face was fantastic! someone had just given birth in the room next to me and they where organsing her bath.

 

[mrs_tommo22]

I threw up all over my husband and the MW, but she deserved it as she was evil to me!

 

[Babylicious]

I pooed myself Really embarrassing!

I also wet myself when I stood up after giving birth, the nurse asked if I needed the loo and my ex said looks like she's already been

I also swore at the nurse, she kept telling me to push so I said "I am f**** pushing"

 

[Sammystar]

Here's a picture for you:

I was about two hours off giving birth to Molly. In the labour suit, wearing only a pyjama top and a pair of surgical stockings, I'm on all fours on the bed with by bum in the air, gooey dribble oozing out of me........oh, and I was most probably moaning.......
Some janitor bloke walks in with a cup of tea for OH......boy did he get an eyeful!!

 

[*saulino*]

 

[Sherry]

Here's a picture for you:

I was about two hours off giving birth to Molly. In the labour suit, wearing only a pyjama top and a pair of surgical stockings, I'm on all fours on the bed with by bum in the air, gooey dribble oozing out of me........oh, and I was most probably moaning.......
Some janitor bloke walks in with a cup of tea for OH......boy did he get an eyeful!!

OMG I nearly wet myself reading that. I wonder just how many poses he has seen

 

[mrs_tommo22]

OMG thats so funny!

 

[libs]

I also cried for half an hour the first time I went into labour (I wasn't quite 30 weeks) because I didn't have any nappies... then shouted at mum and mw when they said I wouldn't worry about that..I said Well I AM worried about that and tried to convince them to let me ut to buy nappies....
When I had him at 32 weeks - I had 100s of nappies ready as everyone who came to visit I asked to get me a pack of nappies

 

[Hells]

I had a similar thing, I was shouting all the way to theatre that I couldn't have a baby yet because my maternity leave didn't start for another 10 weeks and I hadn't read that far in my baby book!
The doctor was very nice and said he thought my work would understand and I wouldn't be expected in on monday...

 

[missac]

I had a similar thing, I was shouting all the way to theatre that I couldn't have a baby yet because my maternity leave didn't start for another 10 weeks and I hadn't read that far in my baby book!
The doctor was very nice and said he thought my work would understand and I wouldn't be expected in on monday...

that really made me chuckle!!!