Embarrasing moments of birth

[Tangerinedream]

You girls are killing me

Im sure I'll be able to add my own stories in a few weeks

 

[Rubys mummy]

a, your manicure story just reminded me, when they said I was going for a c section, my midwife went off to get some polish removed for my toe nail polish-I had spent HOURS painting my toenails before I went in for my induction-not an easy task when you are heavily pregnant. The polish I had picked was black-and boy did it make a mess. There was black smears all over my feet and toes, as she had to get it off in a hurry. I didnt realise till I went for a shower the next day and saw how minging my feet were!! God knows what the surgeons must of thought-I looked a right minger!!!

 

[MissGobby]

Sherry that so funny!

When i was in labour with Evie, i started getting the urge to push and to me it felt like i need a REALLY big poo. So istarted shouting at the brian and the midwife "Im doing a poo. im doing a poo!" so the midwife went and got a bedpan and waited for me to do it. So she waited and waited and evevtaully said "Are you stil goin to do the poo?" i started shouting "its there ive done it, its there!" and Brian and the midwife started laughing saying that nothing was there and it was actually the baby. turned out it was just the pressure of the baby making me think i was doing a poo, and i had no qualms about announcing it to everybody . well they do say when in labour leave your dignity at the door

 

[budge]

Thought it would be a bit of a laugh to get your stories that arent scarey . See who had the most embarrasing time

After they had broke my waters with Josh they had discovered menconium in my waters. The MW was of course a little worried so they got a doctor in who said he was going to take blood from him while he was still inside of me and they attached a monitor to his little head. The embarrasing bit was while all this was happening down there I couldnt stop farting and it's not a job he could do without being close up , It was terrible, I kept whispering to my Mum, but really didnt need to cause they werent actually silent , Just kept apologising to the young, FIT (had to be didnt he?) Dr.

i haven't anything really embarrassing but i can remember when i was having emily i shouted at the midwife to turn the freaking fridge off
hubby and midwife exchanged confused looks - i think i was in that transition stage where you lose the plot ever so slightly

 

[Becky&Willow]

the most embaressing thing that happened to me was the midwife was giving me yet another internal her face quite low and to my amazement i farted i thought it was quite funny, but i was drugged up to the eyeballs,my mum and husband thought it was funny aswell.

i aim to please.

 

[sophie-jordan]

mine wernt that bad the worse bit was probably with Elise, i was in so much pain and the nurse kept telling me 2 push so i said " have you ever had a kid? do u no how painful this is? im f*****g pushing so shut up"
felt terrible after id given birth though so was so nice lol
x sophie x

 

[Miracle babe]

I'm not sure if this is funny but its certainly embarrassing.

I was having a hard time having my daughter so they decided to get the anesthetist in to give me an epidural. This tiny little chinese lady came in, she had the most delicate hands you can image. Well as she was preping me for the epidural I had a contraction coming and was just screaming for someone to hold my hand. She just instinctivly gave me her hand which I proceeded to crush. Apparently there was me grunting through the contraction while she was there screaming 'Make her let go make her let go'. Eventually they managed to release my vice like grip on her and she was led sobbing from the room Needless to say they needed to get another anesthetist

 

[mummykay]

 

[cloud9]

After my waters broke i was standing up gushing and just felt like the old woman off little britain..it wouldn't stop...Then as soon as Dylan was born he was lay on top of me and immediately did a huge wee like he had been holding it in for nine months it ran all off mee and formed a big puddle on the bed

 

[Sherry]

I'm not sure if this is funny but its certainly embarrassing.

I was having a hard time having my daughter so they decided to get the anesthetist in to give me an epidural. This tiny little chinese lady came in, she had the most delicate hands you can image. Well as she was preping me for the epidural I had a contraction coming and was just screaming for someone to hold my hand. She just instinctivly gave me her hand which I proceeded to crush. Apparently there was me grunting through the contraction while she was there screaming 'Make her let go make her let go'. Eventually they managed to release my vice like grip on her and she was led sobbing from the room Needless to say they needed to get another anesthetist

Makes you wonder why these people actually want to work with PG labouring women doesnt it I wonder if they have to have some sort of special insurance to cover damages

 

[lisanat]

OMG I think my whole labour was embarrassing.

When I as on the gas and air I started hallucinating and whan the midwife went to do an internal to check how far dilated i was I started laughing, and saying I cant look at you properly to the midwife.What id seen was this giant hand with a little tiny body!!! I also said to my mum and andy can you hear those scousers outside and I was laughing really hard,well there was no one there butn whatever they said i found hilarious! I also askedfor an epidural and when a doctor came in to checkon me. I was convinced she was my friend and I wouldnt let her near me to put a drip in shouting that she was not a doctor and she was a nursery nurse and i was not letting her stick a thing in me!! the thing is she left the room and when she came back in. I repeated it all again not realising id just seen her.

Also when the doctor was stitching me up in theatre Id had a third degree tear so was there for a while. I herd this almighty fart I said to the midwife was that me and she laughed the only thing was I couldnt stop!!!
never been so embarrassed and I dont think theyd let me back there again!!!

xxxx

 

[lisanat]

lol been thinking about my labour all day and i actually have a few more:

the gas and air made me feel like their was a rave goin on in my head as all sounds were slowed down (like when your really drunk) but there was some sort of pipe rattling and bird tweeting which sounded like dance music, i kept asking brian if he could hear it and he looked at me like i was nuts .
.

I had this too.mine was more like a phone ringing I think andy was worried that Id lost it.I also keot singing along to 'doop' on the radio even though it wasn't on there.i was saying I havent heard this for ages!!!

xxx

 

[kellysomer]

How much do midwives get paid for all this?????

I got really angry with the midwife when she told me to push, and as i had a strange labour and no urges to push whatsoever she was telling me when to push each time, in the end she annoyed me so much i said to her that i wasnt pushing any more, i was like a spoilt brat! Anyway the fuuny thing was that at that moment i got the urge to push and didnt have a choice anyway. I was so stroppy!! I also kept telling her to go away and leave me alone, and that i couldnt do it, in the end she laughed at me and said 'the heads there likes youve got a choice in the matter', i remember being so mad at the time but in reality i dont think i had a choice at all whether to carry on or not!!!!!

 

[trixipaws]

my most embarrassing moment was sitting on the toilet doing a poo in very late labour with my arms around the midwife's waist, crying (and i might hav been biting her arm too! lol)

 

[jenni32]

While I was pushing the doctor got called in , as the baby's heart rate dropped a little. He threatened an episiotomy if I hadn't pushed babe out within the next 10 minutes. Anyway, I managed it without getting cut but was a bit off my head on gas and air. When the doctor was stitching me up he said he was going to put his finger up my bum to check the muscle wasn't torn - to which I replied "Oh fuck it - go on then , you've had your fingers everywhere else, you might as well!!

Midwife and OH p****d themselves!

 

[monster_munch]

Oh god - I was horrible in labour.

I freaked out as I was convinced the midwives were all conspiring against me and were going to force me to have an epidural
I also thought they were talking about me behind my back saying I was ugly! So I was shouting at them saying "I can hear you - it's not very professional!" Poor ladies
I also then thought I was doing it all wrong as they asked me not to push at one stage and I (obviously) couldn't and I started screaming at them saying "You effing stop pushing, cus I can't" and then promptly started crying saying "I'm doing it all wrong - are you going to take my baby away from me?" I went a bit loopy...

 

[Urchin]

awww I missed this thread!

mine was after waiting for the anesthetist for HOURS to come and do my epidural. She finally turned up when it was too late and I was about to push.
I was high as a kite on gas and air and I look to my left and there's this lady telling me how sorry she was but she got called away to treat someone who had had a car accident blah blah blah and I just shouted "YEAH WHATEVER!" in a really loud and nasty voice

the worst thing about that was I got a tear and had to go into surgery and she had to come back and do my spinal so I apologised to her

 

[Kimbo]

keep them coming!

 

[Babylicious]

I pooed during labour and asked what the smell was

 

[Tangerinedream]

I poo'd loads while i was pushing. the mw changed the mat about 3 times lol. what makes it worse is that her face was really close to my down belows and I remember her putting her glasses on to get a better look at stuff- i just get this image of me pooing in her face