Dragonfly Fi
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its all about control isnt it... a man shouldnt feel he has to control you, or hes really not a man!
Did I have a Chemical miscarriage or is the dr wrong??
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CARNAT22
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I've never suffered physical abuse but my Ex was a complete nightmare mentally.
We lived together and I actually think he was mentally unwell. Sometimes I'd come home and he's be all over me, other times I'd come home and be called a whore (as I was maybe 10 minutes late so obviously I'd been with my other man?)
He would sometimes ignore me for days on end, if I ever went out without him he would call me constantly and usually put me so much on edge I'd have a crap time. Or worse still he'd turn up uninvited and make all my female friends feel uncomfortable.
He would throw money at me and pay bills himself that were meant to be joint in the hope that I became financailly dependant on him.
He would be nasty about my friends, call me a slag / tart if I wore anything slightly revealing and when I succesfully lost 40lbs and got down to a size 8 he told me I looked like an AIDS victim...
Of course it wasn't always horrible and prior to living together I very rarely saw his nasty side..
In all truthfullness I wasn't even in love with the guy but 16 months of his mental abuse had done the trick. I felt trapped, I did feel as though no-one else would ever want me. I felt unattractive and detatched from my friends.
It was only when his own mother told me she thought I could do better (after he'd got so drunk at a family do he started calling me names and his OWN mother threw him out) that I took action.
I went back to my parents the very next afternoon and they took me back to the flat we shared. I packed my whole life into 5 bin bags and left.
It was the best thing I ever did.
7 months later I'd met my OH and we'd moved in together and never for a milisecond in 4 years has my OH been anything other than an angel. We argue sometimes, we rub each other up the wrong way sometimes but never has that been anything more. He has never called me a name, he has never made derogatory comments about my weight / appereance. He is not jealous or possessive. He has certainly never laid a finger on me.
The thought of being pregnant by my Ex was terrifying (we used condoms but I was so scared every month in case I was and I'd be stuck with him for life) with my OH I cannot wait to have his baby!
It's hard to leave a bully but the longer you stay the harder it becomes.
xxxxxxxxxx
We lived together and I actually think he was mentally unwell. Sometimes I'd come home and he's be all over me, other times I'd come home and be called a whore (as I was maybe 10 minutes late so obviously I'd been with my other man?)
He would sometimes ignore me for days on end, if I ever went out without him he would call me constantly and usually put me so much on edge I'd have a crap time. Or worse still he'd turn up uninvited and make all my female friends feel uncomfortable.
He would throw money at me and pay bills himself that were meant to be joint in the hope that I became financailly dependant on him.
He would be nasty about my friends, call me a slag / tart if I wore anything slightly revealing and when I succesfully lost 40lbs and got down to a size 8 he told me I looked like an AIDS victim...
Of course it wasn't always horrible and prior to living together I very rarely saw his nasty side..
In all truthfullness I wasn't even in love with the guy but 16 months of his mental abuse had done the trick. I felt trapped, I did feel as though no-one else would ever want me. I felt unattractive and detatched from my friends.
It was only when his own mother told me she thought I could do better (after he'd got so drunk at a family do he started calling me names and his OWN mother threw him out) that I took action.
I went back to my parents the very next afternoon and they took me back to the flat we shared. I packed my whole life into 5 bin bags and left.
It was the best thing I ever did.
7 months later I'd met my OH and we'd moved in together and never for a milisecond in 4 years has my OH been anything other than an angel. We argue sometimes, we rub each other up the wrong way sometimes but never has that been anything more. He has never called me a name, he has never made derogatory comments about my weight / appereance. He is not jealous or possessive. He has certainly never laid a finger on me.
The thought of being pregnant by my Ex was terrifying (we used condoms but I was so scared every month in case I was and I'd be stuck with him for life) with my OH I cannot wait to have his baby!
It's hard to leave a bully but the longer you stay the harder it becomes.
xxxxxxxxxx
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dyscochick
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sweetheart don't make the mistake of feeling committed to him because he was your first. My first proper long term commitment I thought I'd be with forever. Now i am so glad I found the strength to move on. I wasn't in an abusive relationship in any sense, but he always put me down and never really wanted to support my career which was very important to me. Walking away from that was hard, so I can't imagine how hard it would be to walk away from something more, but you really have to step back and see it for what it is, twice in 2 years is 2 times too many...however you try and excuse it.
Me and OH have been through some pretty rough times over the last few years but he has never once even intimated that he would raise a hand to me and like CARNAT said never been derogatory or down on me (quite the opposite mostly) even in the midst of a massive row. I can completely trust that he would never do that, whatever the provocation because that is how it should be, and nothing else is excusable. Taking time in Italy sounds like a wonderful thing to do and can only be for the best. Don't wait and see if he's changed when you come back, see if you have. Take that distance to think about whether you really want to be in a relationship where you just don't know if he'll snap, or do that again. Think about it now while no children are involved, because although I've not been there, I certainly can't imagine children making it any easier. You will find a way to deal with the mc, again trust that you can feel sad without needing permission from others (I know it must be hard) but there is NOTHING to say that this will affect your chances in the future when the baby is planned. It is horrifyingly common to miscarry, especially with your first, and I have to remind myself of that daily to keep sane.
Me and OH have been through some pretty rough times over the last few years but he has never once even intimated that he would raise a hand to me and like CARNAT said never been derogatory or down on me (quite the opposite mostly) even in the midst of a massive row. I can completely trust that he would never do that, whatever the provocation because that is how it should be, and nothing else is excusable. Taking time in Italy sounds like a wonderful thing to do and can only be for the best. Don't wait and see if he's changed when you come back, see if you have. Take that distance to think about whether you really want to be in a relationship where you just don't know if he'll snap, or do that again. Think about it now while no children are involved, because although I've not been there, I certainly can't imagine children making it any easier. You will find a way to deal with the mc, again trust that you can feel sad without needing permission from others (I know it must be hard) but there is NOTHING to say that this will affect your chances in the future when the baby is planned. It is horrifyingly common to miscarry, especially with your first, and I have to remind myself of that daily to keep sane.
babygurl1989
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You all are so wonderful! He's agreed to do therapy while I'm gone...but who knows if he will take the initiative to truly do it
He's mental and physical I guess. Just in the fact that he will wanna ignore me for hrs then expect me to drop everything and pick him up or do something for him. He cheated on me and that destroyed my trust in him and makes me paranoid. I never had much self esteem anyways. That was before we became intimate. I found out abt it all after 7 mos into our relationship.it made me feel so worthless...he's never said anything but kind things abt my appearance...but he's more like he calls me perfect and stuff and annoying when I ask him not to drink or go to bars he says I'm controlling...I dunno. I love the man. He's gotten better on lots of things but he's still not where I need him to be for me to commit to him forever.
And in the 8 months we've been intimate I've finally given up asking him to try to help me out instead of it all being abt him... lol but that's another convers and doesn't matter that much anyways I guess. I hope he changes for the better while I'm gone. I hope he stays true to me and gets the help he needs but we will see. I have told him that he can consider himself free while I'm gone and wed revisit our situation when I get back. After we've both worked on ourselves. If he truly loves me then he shouldn't feel tempted to look elsewhere. I never do and sometimes he puts me thru shit. Lol. I wish I could hug everyone of you.
He's mental and physical I guess. Just in the fact that he will wanna ignore me for hrs then expect me to drop everything and pick him up or do something for him. He cheated on me and that destroyed my trust in him and makes me paranoid. I never had much self esteem anyways. That was before we became intimate. I found out abt it all after 7 mos into our relationship.it made me feel so worthless...he's never said anything but kind things abt my appearance...but he's more like he calls me perfect and stuff and annoying when I ask him not to drink or go to bars he says I'm controlling...I dunno. I love the man. He's gotten better on lots of things but he's still not where I need him to be for me to commit to him forever.
And in the 8 months we've been intimate I've finally given up asking him to try to help me out instead of it all being abt him... lol but that's another convers and doesn't matter that much anyways I guess. I hope he changes for the better while I'm gone. I hope he stays true to me and gets the help he needs but we will see. I have told him that he can consider himself free while I'm gone and wed revisit our situation when I get back. After we've both worked on ourselves. If he truly loves me then he shouldn't feel tempted to look elsewhere. I never do and sometimes he puts me thru shit. Lol. I wish I could hug everyone of you.
babygurl1989
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UPDATE : I changed my tampon at 4am... just checked it now at 1pm and there was barely any blood on it so now I just have a pad on. Its only been bleeding from 10/3 - 10/5. And the morn of 10/5 is light light light. What does that mean? Lol yall are prob sick of me!
I just called my Dr office. Staff was rude and when I asked them to retest they said no and my insurance prob wouldn't cover it since its so close in days and I'd get the same negative result anyways. The dr is nice but she never speaks on the phone and her staff r the rudest slowest ppl. So I guess that's that...
I just called my Dr office. Staff was rude and when I asked them to retest they said no and my insurance prob wouldn't cover it since its so close in days and I'd get the same negative result anyways. The dr is nice but she never speaks on the phone and her staff r the rudest slowest ppl. So I guess that's that...
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dyscochick
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No more tampons hun 
for a few weeks. Glad it's calmed down. This break to Italy sounds well needed but make sure you take that time too and take it slow when you come back. Xxx
for a few weeks. Glad it's calmed down. This break to Italy sounds well needed but make sure you take that time too and take it slow when you come back. Xxx
babygurl1989
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No more tampons hun
OK. Thx...I just thot it was weird that two days and then it stops. I normally go 6 days of bleeding sometimes 7. And its bright red which isn't the norm for me. I told the nurse that on the phone and she was so rude and just said it doesn't matter the tests don't lie and basically made me feel as if I was wasting her time. Ugh. Well best of luck to everyone. It will be awhile before I am intimate w anyone.
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