Depression support thread

[Piglet10]

we lurve u too xxx

 

[Danti]

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[hopeandfaithxo]

Hey, new to this thread.
I feel so rubbish today! Literally I am so tired, and fed up of things. Trying to distract myself from this feeling is becoming a chore

 

[charlene09]

I'm on fluoxetine liquid anti depressent for post natal depression .. please don't feel bad of me

sent by my sick arse HTC

 

[Lovisa]

I am so glad to come across this thread, I have been feeling so bad lately but like you toon and a few others I don't talk to people about how I feel ect.

Thank you Toon for creating this thread you are so brave, I'm not sure I would've had the confidence to start it up. I am currently slowly going through all the old posts (am on page 5 now lol)

I wont go in to everything right now as I am work and have colleagues around, don't want them seeing everything I type.
I am currently on a low atm and having a relapse as I just keep thinking of self harming or Od-ing. The only thing stopping me is my gorgous daughter.

 

[DaisyPurple]

Lovisa, we are here to listen xxx

 

[Toonlass]

Lovisa, how u doing?

Lows are horrendous, and bottling things up is really bad. That's how I had my last break down. Anyone reading through this thread will see the depths I've hit but I always come out fighting. Pi hope that gives people hope in their dark times.

Big love to all that need it depression is an illness, not just a state of mind. Together we can help each other get through the bad times xx

 

[AugustMum]

I can't even explain how much just talking is helping me. I had a really low day the last week and by the end of the day I thought it will only get worse on my on so I text a friend and FOB and both were amazing and FOB came round the next day to make sure I was ok. There's usually someone around who can be there for you, but they can only do that if we're willing to open up.

Exercise is a fantastic booster. I make sure I do something everyday otherwise I fall into a stoop again and I can't stay inside all day. I have to at least go in the garden. This helps massively.

to all that need it xxx

 

[Elfs Mummy]

can't believe i haven't been on this thread for ages how are you all doing ??

Toon your hair looks amazing

xxx

 

[Lovisa]

I am so sorry girls for not seeing your reply till now.
Prepare yourself for a long post (I will try my best to shorten it)....

When I was younger I was physically, mentally and sexually abused by my brothers dad.
He was very violent to my mother and when he finally got kicked out was the time he beat me up after trying to protect my mother (one boxing day, night).

I have secretly suffered from depression and was always trying to find ways of ending my life. Only thing that stopped me back then was my younger brother, as I always had to look after him and I would never had wanted him to see me like that ect.

So for years I just dealt with it and when I was 18 had a very bad relationship and my beloved nan died (she was like another mother to me), which is when I started cutting and one occassion took an overdose with alot of pills and pure alcohol.

I decided to see my then doctor and get some help, which is where I was referred to CBT and a therapist. Which I hated cause I never wanted to talk about things but did as I did appreciate they were doing their job and taking the time to see me.
I was given strong antid's and sleeping tablets but neither seemed to help so I took it upon myself to stop taking them. My only regret was that I stoped taking them all at once and it made me feel horrible (I can't describe the withdrawl symptoms but it was something I'd never like to experience again)

I am the type of person to just get on with things no matter how i'm feeling. I always put a brave face on, hence the odd people i have told about the abuse and depression ect are surprised.

I have been alot better since the other day when I wrote on here, but today I am feeling a bit 'ergh' again and I HATE IT......sometimes I feel angry at myself for even feeling like that. I don't have the right to be.... so many people are alot worse than me and ....oh I don't know....grrrr .... sorry x

 

[Danti]

Never apologise Lovisa, it is an illness not a choice. Massive hugs! I hope you're feeling a little brighter today I can relate to a few things you spoke about so if you ever need to rant, moan or just chat feel free to pm me whenever! xx

 

[leanne1b]

hi. Not been on here for a while. Not been feeling too great lately. Anxiety gone through the roof in the last 2 months or so. And Ive been fooling myself that when I feel low its just because of the anxiety. Now Im starting to realise that its both. And Im gutted about it.
I did the Edinburgh scale test thing and got 28. Im extremely irritable, cry so easily, I dont remember feeling "happy", anxiety, worrying so much about the most ridiculous things. I feel like my memory has gone. Mid sentence I have to stop because I cant rmember the words. zero sex drive, nothing. Just feel so, down? Like its all meaningless. I wish I could feel happy.
This isnt living

 

[Toonlass]

Oh Leanne, that's how I was in June. I guess it's not good news that it's took me till now to feel better but the good think is that I DO feel better now. Maybe go to see your doc about getting some medication or any current medication tweaked.

Hugs to everyone were all hear for each other, good times and bad xx

 

[leanne1b]

Thanks toon. When i noticed it getting worse again, i finally got my doc to refer me for counselling or something. I don't know what I've been referred for but I got a letter just acknowledging the referral from the mental health team.
I went back a week or so ago and said okay, please put me on meds as I need something now. He started me on 15mg of mirtazapine. I took one tablet. For 2 days I was sedated basically. Physically couldn't function, couldn't talk from exhaustion, and from around the 24-48 hour mark after taking the tablet I was really bad. With anxiety, as in it ha me suicidal and I had to sit down and get my bf to turn off everything, ie dryer, tv etc as I was just getting worse. I didn't take another.
I went to see my GP yesterday to try something else. He's given me venlafaxine. I ddnt take it yesterday as my bf is working today and I'm scared I'll be wrecked again so going to try the first tonight. Hoping it works.
I'm scared of life. Everything. Technology and the future seems to be particularly bad for me . Like really bad. As in even an advert for a 3d programme sets me off x

 

[Toonlass]

Mirtazapine helped immensely for my anxiety in 2004. The sedative effect only lasts for 2 weeks or so. I useful take the at bed time but I had a cracking hangover on a morning but only for a couple of weeks.

I must admit I hate taking new meds coz I hate the side effects but they only last a couple of weeks and suffering for a little while is better than living with crippling anxiety and depression

It's germs that set me off and my phobia of sick xx

 

[leanne1b]

See my problem with mirtazapine was that I physically couldn't stay awake and I can't be in that state for a few days, let alone a few weeks, coz of the kids. I was on citalopram before, had no side effects at all, it's just it didn't seem to particularly do anythig either. I'm hoping these new tablets give me the best of both worlds?! X

 

[Lovisa]

Never apologise Lovisa, it is an illness not a choice. Massive hugs! I hope you're feeling a little brighter today I can relate to a few things you spoke about so if you ever need to rant, moan or just chat feel free to pm me whenever! xx

Thanks hun xx

 

[Lovisa]

Im extremely irritable, cry so easily, I dont remember feeling "happy", anxiety, worrying so much about the most ridiculous things. I feel like my memory has gone. Mid sentence I have to stop because I cant rmember the words. zero sex drive, nothing. Just feel so, down? Like its all meaningless. I wish I could feel happy.
This isnt living

I am feeling alot better hun but can relate to what you was saying.

How are you feeling today? Have you spoken to anyone recently about everything hun? The referal, was it for CBT? As thats what I had to do. (Group and one to one councelling) xx

 

[Toonlass]

The doc told me about a site called mood gym. It's really helpful so I thought I'd tell you all bout it. Has loads of advice and techniques that help with mental illness xx

 

[eglute]

For me helps only good herbal tea, i'm found interesting site where i'm buying not traditional Chinese tea, bet from Baltic states balticmagic.eu/