Co sleeping...

[Squiglet]

I'm currently co sleeping with Serena... Its just easier all round.. We have a cot with no side on it attached to our bed but she out and out right refuses to sleep in anything that isn't within a couple of centimetres of my boob..

I co slept with Tia too and there was no issues... The problem is I am so worried about cot death I end up waking myself up every few minutes just as I am about to drift off into a heavy sleep, panicking that I've killed the baby... THEN if I put her in another room or in a cot... I panic again thinking she will die there BECAUSE I am not within a few cm of her...

What am I going to do... It's driving me crazy.... not to mention the fact that I now sleep for an hour a day, and am starting to get quite tired and down about the whole thing...

 

[Rosieroo]

No idea what you can do to calm down about the cosleeping, but sending you some as sleep deprivation is bloody awful!

 

[newmum]

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[Redshoes]

I love co-sleeping and I'm sorry to hear you feel unsafe doing it with Serena, Squiglet It's not worth worrying yourself, just place her in her cot where you feel comfortable, then put your hand on her, and gently rub her, she should go to sleep eventually Here's some positive co-sleeping points for you too;
http://www.babycentre.co.uk/baby/sleep/ ... athexpert/

I was the opposite, I would wake and be scared I'd lost Isaac when he started going in his cot, and it was frightening, so I put a monitor under his mattress to ease my worry. Do whatever works for you, but she will be fine, you'd never do anything to make her not fine Hope you can relax soon, and get some wonderful sleep Maybe sleep just the two of you through the day on the bed, lots of cushioning to protect her, see how you go
There's always one of these too;
http://www.amazon.com/Deluxe-Snuggle-Ne ... B0001Y9VN2

 

[lisa&alex]

lay her in the cot and you lay sorta in there to.. put a dirty nighty/top that has leaked milk on near her.. and when shes is fast asleep move bk into bed...try not top worry hun xxx

 

[trixipaws]

i wouldnt co-sleep until melissa was 17 weeks coz i was petrified of SIDS- and after i'd BF her i the nite i would wake up a few minutes after id gone back to sleep, PANICKING that i'd fallen asleep with her on my boob which was scarey when i was lying on my front! i liked her near me tho and i pulled the moses basket right up to the side of the bed, so we were close but it was impossible for either of us to roll to each other.
of course now i ALWAYS fall asleep with her on my boob but she's big now and im not scared anymore!

 

[Squiglet]

I do love co sleeping... it feels more natural and safer for me and I panic just as much if shes in on her own... plus she latches on at night, its proof shes still alive... I just panic about her dying in general I think...

 

[Redshoes]

Squiglet

 

[babewilk]

i have co slept with all of mine and ive never done then any harm ur head just knows there there and it takes over etc so try not to worry huni just think about how close u will be to ur baby and how much of a bond u to will have.

 

[lisa&alex]

i think the panic is completly normal.. and u would do that if she was in basket or cot to xxxx

 

[Natural mamma]

Statistically there has never been a case of cot death when the baby has co slept with parents.....You hear horror stories due to the influence of toxic fumes from smoking and a parent being under the influence of alcohol in co sleeping situations.

I'm sure you will settle down and become comfortable with it. The fact she doesn't want to be a way from you should reassure you massively. I would be anxious if mine were away from me. I love snuggling up to my babies. its the most natural thing in the world...they've been inside you all that time. Putting them in a cage (cot ) in another room is bordering on barbaric in my opinion...but that's just my opinion.

 

[KJ]

Putting them in a cage (cot ) in another room is bordering on barbaric in my opinion...

barbaric! that's a little harsh isn't it?! Many people co-sleep and I've nothing against it. It depends what kind of person you are. I found the few times I'v had Ash in bed with me, I haven't moved an inch whilst he's there. Hubby, on the other hand, finds it really hard because he moves around in his sleep so much. He could easily roll on Ash or pull the covers over him without meaning to. We had him in a moses basket literally abutting the bed so I could reach out an touch him. But I'm afraid, the last few weeks since he's been too big for his basket, I've done the unthinkable and put him in a cage in the nursery(!) what a bad mother I am! I sleep in the room with him on the spare bed.

I think the way some people put forward their opinions, could do with a little adjustment

K.x

 

[KJ]

ooops! did my quote the wrong way round!. Meant to put natural mama's view in quotes and have my reply as part of the message.

Hope that makes sense.

K.x

 

[newmum]

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[KJ]

I'm curious as to what natural mamma does with her babies when they get too big to sleep with her?

Do they go straight into a bed with no 'cage' bars? Think I'd rather a cage than something my LO can fall out of onto the floor and seriously injure themselves.

Or are all you children still sleeping with you?

Just my opinion, but I don't think I'd have much of a marriage if that happened!

Plus there's a certain stigma to sleeping with your mum when you get to school age! There's a time when the mother baby relationship has to change slightly, that's why they grow up.

K.x

 

[Natural mamma]

hey k.J don't mean to push yer buttons.....I guess i come from the opposite end of the woods to you.....

All four of my kiddies have been in my bed til they have stopped feeding, they have a cot pushed up against the bed (with side off) which they are usually sleeping in by a year old. Then naturally they make the transition into a junior bed (hardly a great fall) that also stays in my room. Then at some point usually by two years they want to be with the other children and vica versa....They have also ALL been dry night and day by the age of two...i haven't quite figured what it is exactly that i do right... it just works.

I read when i was 19 (34 now) the continuum concept...it rang very true for me....My children are very free range confident, happy and independent as a result. they are aged 12, 9,8 and 6... I'm sorry but i cannot but cringe with how society is turning out and the parenting skills of today....I am not trying to get anyone's back or levelling any blame anywhere, but i just, can't sit back and shut up either. i have a very strong opinion and i will express it. It is not main stream and gets challenged. I am a little voice in amongst many that just ain't interested. And i believe thats the problem...I am far from perfect and being a parent brings fresh challenges everyday, let alone forcing me to grow and grow as a person. I embrace motherhood...i can be a screaming banshee at times...a domestic goddess on very good days....But i do do things very differently from the norm. What can i say its my job to be different.

 

[KJ]

I don't have a problem with you preferring co-sleeping to having babies in cots. Many people do co-sleep and I must admit, when I have done it, I can see many advantages.

I do however take offence to your use of the word " barbaric". It's crazy to use that word to describe something that millions of mothers do everyday. And quite unfair I think. Barbaric insinuates that what is being done is terrible, when letting a baby sleep in a cot is certainly nothing of the sort.

The magnitude of your comments is just way off scale and likely to cause offense to many people on this forum.

 

[LucyBee]

I do however take offence to your use of the word " barbaric". It's crazy to use that word to describe something that millions of mothers do everyday. And quite unfair I think. Barbaric insinuates that what is being done is terrible, when letting a baby sleep in a cot is certainly nothing of the sort.

 

[Redshoes]

Statistically there has never been a case of cot death when the baby has co slept with parents.....You hear horror stories due to the influence of toxic fumes from smoking and a parent being under the influence of alcohol in co sleeping situations.

I'm sure you will settle down and become comfortable with it. The fact she doesn't want to be a way from you should reassure you massively. I would be anxious if mine were away from me. I love snuggling up to my babies. its the most natural thing in the world...they've been inside you all that time. Putting them in a cage (cot ) in another room is bordering on barbaric in my opinion...but that's just my opinion.

Language is such a powerful tool and its a shame that someone's opinion when put in certain words can cause upset, I do agree with a lot of your opinions Natural mamma, look at it from the point of view of the animal kingdom, yes way off topic here lol Anyway, we've bred many dogs, but if we'd have moved the pups into a seperate place to the Mum, that would've been seen as 'cruel' by many, yet we do do it with our babies. We have moved away from what our animal instinct would naturally do, its not wrong, its just different to those who feel very naturalistic in that respect.

MANY babies are perfectly fine with this and Mummy's do NOT do it to be 'cruel', 'barbaric', to put them in a 'cage', and so it is not to be looked upon in that light. But I can see why some would see it as very uncomfortable to do that to their LO, and when it comes to co-sleeping there is a lot of rubbish thrown at co-sleeping families, by professionals and other families alike, and its just as unfair as it is to call any family who puts their baby in a basket/cot. I am biased as I love co-sleeping, but if I loved Isaac in his cot, I'd be biased that way likewise, its OK to have a bias but unfair to judge when both are perfectly acceptable as long as LO is happy

But what IS very important is that we keep talking about these issues because I truly believe Mothers are being directed away from believing in their natural, mothering instinct, all for todays lifestyle. I think we just need to be careful what language we use, how we interpret someone's opinion.

I just wanted to say all that because the co-sleeping debate needs more talking about, and its a shame if it ends with upset, we're all Mummy's just wanting and doing what we see as best for our children and should be SUPPORTED in that

 

[LucyBee]

Redshoes
You have a way with words! L xxx