Co sleeping...

[laetitia85]

I co-sleep but these days Kenzo spends half the night in his moses basket, next to us, and the other half by my side in our bed. lately i have been having the same anxieties as you. i think it's normal.
i am optimistic that one day he will be able to spend a full night in his moses basket, then when he gets a bit older, say 6 months, sleep alone in his room.

 

[Natural mamma]

You certainly do Red shoes....Thankyou for being far more eloquent than myself.

I find the contradiction very hard to swallow.....As some do my opinion...babies get used to being in a cot but not through their own personal choice....and most of the mothers on here have said they can't bear to see their L.O suffering so give calpol when they are unwell or in pain...yet what happens when they put their L.O in the cot???.... aren't their L.O in emotional pain and distress ?????don't they scream til they get so exhausted...or used to it ?????? ( i have never done this so correct me if i'm wrong) I find that to be a massive contradiction. Your right Red shoes in my opinion too,mothers are being more and more removed from their natural instinct. And i am not blaming mothers i am lay any blame firmly at the feet of our society and culture....we have a lot to answer for.

Oh and the "cage" bit and the use of the word "barbaric" come directly from the book the continuum concept and i should have quoted it directly and not caused so much offense.........It may be a harsh word but i'm up for a debate. I love intellectual discourse.

 

[laetitia85]

Natural mama, if you follow the continuum process, i can understand why you think that way. most mums on here don't follow it. that's why the debate always goes on and on and on. same about the breasfeeding vs bottle issue. different mums, different techniques, different babies. The most important thing is that each mum figures out what works best for their own baby. and usually babies tend to get used to a certain pattern.

 

[Natural mamma]

Natural mama, if you follow the continuum process, i can understand why you think that way. most mums on here don't follow it. that's why the debate always goes on and on and on. same about the breasfeeding vs bottle issue. different mums, different techniques, different babies. The most important thing is that each mum figures out what works best for their own baby. and usually babies tend to get used to a certain pattern.

I totally agree with you...but at what cost?????

Look at the state of our society??? kids that kill......kids growing up with no morals? No communication skills..... .where did it go wrong?....where did it start?......Why did it start?.......
these are very deep questions and i'm not saying that not co-sleeping or not breast feeding is at the bottom of it. The world seems a very unsafe for our L.O.

I think as parents that its important to understand fully the implications of our actions....not just to follow trends in parenting. Its important to be in touch with our emotions when parenting...not just doing what makes for an easier life. And if as a parent you find that challenging then you need to look deep into yourself to find answers your truly comfortable with.

 

[LucyBee]

I think as parents that its important to understand fully the implications of our actions....not just to follow trends in parenting. Its important to be in touch with our emotions when parenting...not just doing what makes for an easier life. And if as a parent you find that challenging then you need to look deep into yourself to find answers your truly comfortable with.

Being a mother is hard work. Everyone wants to do their absolute best at it. All of the girls on here love their children more than anything and I think all of us are in touch with our emotions when parenting and certainly are not doing things for our children solely motivated by a desire to make our own lives easier.

I fully understand and accept that people parent in different ways. I'm glad you are happy with the continuum concept and have strong opinions about it but have some sensitivity too please for those that parent in a different way. And different to you does not mean 'doing what makes for an easier life'.

As someone who has read LOADS about different parenting methods, who loves their little boy inside out and would do anything for him, I actually feel quite cross about some of your statements - quoted from books or not. You may be up for a debate and love intellectual discourse, but some of us are struggling to do our best and could do with some sensitivity and less of the judgement.

 

[Krystal]

Natural Mamma, I have taken offence to you using the word barbaric and cage. I, personally, don't like the idea of co sleeping. I think it's a risk, yet I would never ever say that I thought the choices you make are barbaric. After all they are your choices with your baby. Maybe if you enjoy intellectual debates and actually hope to be taken seriously you should think about how your actually wording your post.

Jack sleeps in a cot, i have ever seen him in emotional pain or distress because of his cot. In fact from day one he has enjoyed being in his cot, when we wake on a morning it's usually to the sound of him happily chatting away in his cot.

 

[rhian85]

Natural Mamma, I have taken offence to you using the word barbaric and cage. I, personally, don't like the idea of co sleeping. I think it's a risk, yet I would never ever say that I thought the choices you make are barbaric. After all they are your choices with your baby. Maybe if you enjoy intellectual debates and actually hope to be taken seriously you should think about how your actually wording your post.

Jack sleeps in a cot, i have ever seen him in emotional pain or distress because of his cot. In fact from day one he has enjoyed being in his cot, when we wake on a morning it's usually to the sound of him happily chatting away in his cot.

agree 100 % sweetcheeks.. i think "natural" mamma is totally out of order by using "barbric and cage"....WTF my son sleeps in a cot and has done from an early age..he loves it and will spen 10mins running around it before he settles down for bed.

Natural mamma i think u need to keep ur opinions to ur self at times...as u can see u always begin to start debates and this is NOT what this forum is about. u seem to enjoy seting up arguments in ur posts...be carefull how u word ur posts and THINK before u type.

my son sleeps in a cot and has calpol at times...oh quick call social services - i must be a bad mother
so pleae natural mamma until u can post in sensible manner then please keep ur overrated opinions to ur self. most of us on here enjoy parenting with a "modern" approach..not all of us tend to use leaves in stead of nappies and and wean our kids on grass..u may have the "natural" aproiach but thats u. dont go forcing it upon others

if u feel u need to do this then hey take a hike and join a green peace forum.

 

[x-kirsty-x]

Barbaric??? Oh dear...

 

[trixipaws]

natural mamma, im not having a go, my style's similar to yours in that i had a home birth, i breast feed, i co-sleep- but i just hav to point out after u said this:

I think as parents that its important to understand fully the implications of our actions....not just to follow trends in parenting.

isnt the continuum concept also a trend?
correct me if im wrong

 

[LucyBee]

my son sleeps in a cot and has calpol at times...oh quick call social services - i must be a bad mother .

The Continuum Concept was also demonstrated as an 'extreme' on that 'Bringing up Baby' programme on C4.

 

[Rosieroo]

most of the mothers on here have said they can't bear to see their L.O suffering so give calpol when they are unwell or in pain...yet what happens when they put their L.O in the cot???.... aren't their L.O in emotional pain and distress ?????don't they scream til they get so exhausted...or used to it ??????

If that's what you think babies do when they're in cots then no wonder you think they're babaric.

Just like to say that I coslept with Alex when he young, but when he went into a cot we had no screaming til he was blue etc. He's never been allowed to cry it out and doesn't get emotionally distressed when he's been put into it. (Not visibly anyway, but who know's what is going through his mind and whether he's planning to rob some grannies when he can walk because I put him in it).

 

[beanie]

Its a shame that this thread seems to have been taking over by insults, Redshoes putit best saying that this is a subject that needsto be spoken about.

Squiglet, I co-slept with Seren from ewborn and TBH the thought of sleeping with another newborn does worry me but I try and remember that co-sleeping breastfeding mummy's have an amazing ability to respond to their infant and not put them in any danger (as long as they are not under the influence of drugs, alcohol etc). I remmeber a couple of occasions where I was woken up as she was too warm or had wriggled down the bed, she was still fast asleep but my body had woke me up to move her.

Should be more interesting as Seren is currently going through a stage where she likestocome into bed with me at 6am (think she is picking up my baby is due and is a bit unsettled), so I will have to work something out there. Incidently the poster who said there is a stigma about sharing a bedwith yourmum at school age, thats not necessarily the case. I always remember whenever I felt unwellor unsettledI would get intomyparets bed, felt like the safest place in the world. I went through a stage where I did it a lot (either my parents bed or my sisters bed), but soon stopped when I felt more confident again. I don'tthink it was socially wrong, just me wanting to sleep with someone

 

[LucyBee]

Redshoes putit best saying that this is a subject that needsto be spoken about

I agree. It's great to talk about it. Just with some sensitivity. And I don't think the thread has been taken over by insults at all.
Just goes to show that parenting is something we all feel passionate about, whatever approach we use.

 

[Krystal]

Yes your right, it does need talking about. I don't think it should go to insults but i'm sure you'll appreciate if I was to turn around and say co sleeping with your babies was barbaric and you were causing them emotional distress and pain by doing it you'd have a problem with me saying that.

 

[beanie]

I didn't name names or point fingers . My baby has also slept in a cot, and mainly did so from 8 months

 

[Squiglet]

when i had Tia I was really young... I was influenced heavily by health professionals etc... until I started to trust my instincts... this time I decided to follow my instincts from the beginning... its why I kept bfing when I was told formula was better... and currently sleeping any further away from lil miss than a few cm's feels so wrong and scary.... I can't imagine evicting her to another room.... although she now goes to bed in her cot (shes already sleeping of course)...I leave my hand on her until she wakes for a feed...then bring her into bed with me.... I panic she will die if shes too far away from me...because I know bfd babies are safer sleeping with their mothers (as long as their mums are sober and non smokers)...but I panic because of the horror stories concerning co sleeping.

shes desperately clingy tho and I want to discourage that...but I feel the need to be close to her...almost animalistc...its ironic...we feel the need to be close yet feel we need the separation...but at the end of the day we are one of the only species on the planet that feels the need to mother our children for such a long time... and as the extension of that mothering time increases it seems that our children accept less responsibility and is what causes the downturn in society.

I didn't mean to start a debate tho ...